Busy Little Bird

Earlier this spring, when we first made the move to the Show Me State, I put out some flowers on our porch. Every year I’m extremely hardheaded and I put at least a couple plants out long before the danger of frost has passed. Those flowers eventually died, but, while they were alive they attracted a couple of hummingbirds. I told my mom often about my little visitors and for Mother’s Day she gifted me a beautiful glass hummingbird feeder. We have a tree on the south side of our house which I discovered, is the home of the hummingbirds. Grant recently built a treehouse for the kids in that very tree. Nearly anytime of the day, if you sit on the porch long enough, you’ll hear buzzing and to your delight, you’ll get to witness these amazing creatures right before your eyes. It doesn’t take much to entertain me. Like I said in a recent post, people watching is one of my favorite things to do! Well, like both my Grannies, I suppose I too enjoy birdwatching.

I was curious of what these little guys’ jobs were, so I pulled out my handy-dandy iPhone 7. Yeah, I know, I’m a few years behind. I learned that “they transport resources between the tropical and temperate ecosystems located thousands of miles apart and they serve as pollinators.” They also have an incredibly high heart rate. During a flight it is an average of 1200 bpm. When resting, it reaches around 250 bpm. A hummingbird also consumes around half its weight in sugar daily. I read several other facts that would likely bore you, but I read one thing that really jumped out at me.

Hummingbirds almost never stop moving, and they spend nearly all their time in the air. Their legs are so small and weak, they typically can’t walk at all. But in the air, they’re masters.

Colossians 3:2 says to set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth.

God, help my flesh to be so weak because I’m used to never using it, because I’m too busy moving closer to You.

I pray that is your prayer as well.

May I ask you something personal?

What is your goal in this life? What is your mind always captivated on? What has a hold of your heart? What are you busy doing? Being busy isn’t always a good thing. If it’s reaching a certain number of followers or likes on social media, I can tell you now, that will never make your insecurity go away. If it’s a beautiful home with beautiful things inside, I hate to break it to ya, but I imagine they’ll have a hard time fitting that in the casket with you. Maybe it’s having smart kids, who have the best academic achievements in their class. Or maybe it’s having a certain job or title. Maybe you’re busy gossiping and putting others down. (Always remember- if someone is talking about somebody else to you, there’s a really good chance they are talking about you behind your back as well!) You can fill in the blank with your own personal answers. Think about it though.

The thing I dealt with most in life is the act of people pleasing.

It says in Galatians, “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.”

For me, I am not talking about people pleasing in a sense that I would not stand up for Truth. That I would be more concerned about offending someone rather than telling them about the Gospel. No, my entire life, my type of ‘people pleasing’ is just wanting to make sure there is peace between me and anyone who knows me. Well, I am now 30, and although that is still young, I learned some things in my 20s that will make my 30s much more simple. I am a servant only to Christ – not a servant to others opinions. The devil, our enemy, uses things so simple as this to try to fight for our peace of mind. Trust God with who He wants in (and out) of your life. It may hurt, it may be hard, but he always knows best, even if it never makes any sense. That is what trusting Him is all about. And I’m learning to lean daily on His sweet, precious, acceptance of me, and every day, I care less and less about what others think.

Relationships are something God designed us to have, if you want to read some awesome examples of bonds in the Bible, read about Jonathan and David. Naomi and Ruth. Moses and Aaron. Elijah and Elisha. And the greatest of all, Christ and mankind. So, having a strong, godly bond with someone isn’t the issue here. It’s when you want it so bad it consumes your thoughts. It makes you do and do and do for someone, who likely will never appreciate you and frankly, just doesn’t want the love. It’s when you care more about this person‘s approval and acceptance on your life rather than the Lord’s! You might say, “there is no way I would rather someone else’s approval more than God’s.” Well, then why do you always have to have the last say every time you and your husband have a disagreement? Why is it that you dress immodestly? You say you’re just looking pretty, but you’re actually causing men to have a spiritual battle in their mind every time you walk through the church doors! And no, it isn’t the man’s fault that you can’t cover up your body. Just a little extra nugget for you girls out there, tight clothes can be just as revealing as short or low clothing… As I’ve said before, just look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if God would be glorified with your appearance. Same goes for anything in life. Does your appearance, actions and attitudes GLORIFY Him??? I read not long ago an article of how many people died right before taking a selfie. They were either on an edge of a cliff or in water that was dangerous… All for people‘s approval of their photo! You can’t tell me people don’t care more about others approval over God’s.

I’m sure someone much smarter than me out there and more into theology could come up with a better idea when comparing us humans to hummingbirds, but I want to keep it simple, the way I like most things in life. And that is just the thought that came to my mind.

Stay so busy like those little hummingbirds, that you don’t even have time to sit, time to worry, time to fret and care about the past- or about the future. Stay so busy flying and staying close to Jesus that you aren’t an easy target for prey. I am sure if that little bird sat long enough and low enough, a cat would enjoy him for a snack. Get in the Word. Pray. You don’t have to have fancy commentaries or a degree to understand the Word. I have read King James Version since I was a kid, and if I don’t understand a word, I can easily find its meaning along with several synonyms online in seconds. The Lord will never confuse you. Like the hummingbird who feeds multiple times an hour on that sugar water, we must feed on the Word to have energy to fly higher and go higher and soar! 

I will never sit on my porch again and let these little birds pass by me that I won’t be reminded of their trait to stay flying nearly constantly. I want to use my “wings” and stay close to the Lord so often that my “legs” (the flesh) is weak because they aren’t used to being used. I want to use my energy staying close to Him, not close to this world. My little girl was pretending to preach the other night to me at home and she said “the earth is behind you! The Cross is before you!” What a reminder. The Cross is all we need to focus on. You can’t look back and forward at the same time. No matter who decides to go with you, stay on the straight and narrow.

I love my friends, I love my family and I love people in general. But, whether or not any of them choose to stay on the path to serving Jesus with me, I will walk. I will make Heaven my home one day, and that my friend, is the only reason behind this blog. I’ve said it before, but I get enough traffic to make a little money. But, I chose not to. That’s not my focus. I now have nearly as many people out of the country read my blog as people here in the states. Around 70% of the people who read my blog, don’t even know me. I take time to pray and ask God what he wants me to write, not because I think I’m smart, because I’m not very smart in the world’s eyes, but I do so because I know one day when my last day has come, the date they’ll chisel into my tombstone, when that day comes and I am standing before the Lord— All I want is for Him to say, “Well done, Hannah.” 

I am not a singer, I have a sister who can sing like a bird though and I married into a singing family. I wish so bad I would have continued learning any of the instruments I learned the basics to as a kid/young adult, (the violin, trumpet, guitar, drums and piano.) Yes, I attempted all of these! And to be honest, I don’t consider myself just an amazing writer. But, God has put that calling on my life to use my words to minister. Through this blog, yes. But I also have always felt a need to encourage people with my words and often times I do that in the form of a letter. Even to my own kids and spouse. They are my best friends and I pray my words are always kind and gentle.

I pray God has spoken to you about drawing closer to Him by reading something in this post. That is all I’d want. 

So, the next time you see a hummingbird, remind yourself to stay busy thinking on things that are above! 

Give me that old time religion

I’m a people watcher. Not in a creepy kind of way, but in a “this is oddly enjoyable” kind of way. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Well, I was watching an old man after he had said something to me and walked away in the produce area at the grocery store the other day. This time I wasn’t staring for my own entertainment, but I was trying to feel out the situation at hand. I decided to walk back over to him and start up a conversation. 

After several minutes I invited him to church. He asked me if I’d pray about something. He told me he has a 28 year old granddaughter who is a mother of a two year old, and is 12 weeks pregnant, who just found out she has cancer in both breasts. I immediately told him of different times I have seen God’s healing hand in my life. I asked him if he believed in anointing with oil and healing and he said “yes.” So, I told him how our church does that very thing at the beginning of each service. 

I didn’t tell him about the size of the church, the beautiful location, or even the anointed singing and preaching. I told him about an altar we all gather around and pray at before each service. 

This past week I had a very special time with the Lord. So special, I don’t feel comfortable sharing much of the details on the World Wide Web. But, I will share this. One night I was reading a book by A.W. Tozer and it said something along the lines of “our hearts being on their knees.”

That stopped me in my tracks. I often like to get on my physical knees when I’m praying, but I had never heard it like this. For our hearts to be on their knees. 

I went on to have an extremely special prayer time as I told the Lord I was kneeling my heart before Him. I don’t feel comfortable sharing additional details, but I would like to say one thing today, or ask a question I suppose. 

When is the last time you truly knelt down before God with your heart?

In Proverbs it says that a soft answer turns away wrath.

In James it says, humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. 

In Matthew it says, For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 

Jesus showed us how to pray using this line...

“And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

Forgiveness is not a feeling! Forgiveness is a choice. A couple years back, shortly after I was miraculously delivered from depression instantaneously, a simple saying popped in my mind.

When pride is broken down, healing can come, when healing comes, unity can come, and when unity comes, true worship can take place. 

I laid it all out there for those closest to me that evening I was delivered. I allowed my pride to be broken down. I did not care if anybody thought I was not a good Christian because I had fell into depression. I did not care if someone was going to look at me differently from that day forward, perhaps thinking I was weak minded. I let every bit of pride leave. I was healed that evening as mentioned before, and then I felt unity take place in my life amongst relationships I had. Then, I was able to experience true worship. 

Forgiving others and sometimes forgiving yourself can be one of the hardest things you do as a Christian. I have mentioned it a time or two before, but I feel it was the hardest thing at different points in my life, to forgive somebody who never apologized or attempted reconciliation. 

As a 16-year-old, I was not saved yet. I had made some poor friendship choices and I ended up getting hurt, to say the very least. I remember during that summer, which was by far the worst of my life, sitting on my floor in my bedroom crying. I looked across the room and I remember seeing my Bible. I felt something drawing me to that Book. I remember that moment very vividly. I could not tell you the scripture that I read, but I remember that it was the only thing in my life that gave me any form of peace. 

I was saved eight months later. Forgiving those two people was something I was commanded to do as a Christian! I can’t begin to tell you the amount of peace that flooded my life whenever I started forgiving people. Fast forward 13 years later, and God has provided me the opportunity to forgive more people along the way! 

What a blessed quietness. What a joyful sound. When you can say those words, not with your mouth— but with your heart! “I forgive you!” Maybe there is somebody who is dead who you need to forgive. Maybe it is somebody who has totally cut you off and wants nothing to do with you. Or, maybe it is somebody that you have cut off and that you want nothing to do with! Perhaps it is somebody who lives in the same house as you. 

I love that old gospel song called “Give me that old time religion.” I looked it up on Google today and I found out it was actually a tune that was written back in the 1800s. 

Look over the rather simple lyrics below. You’ll be reminded that anything that matters can’t be modernized! Salvation! There’s no new way to be saved! There is no new way to be forgiven or to forgive.

It was good enough for our mothers! And Lord, help us, but it SHOULD help us love everybody. I sure know it saved my father, and when my time comes, and I breathe my final breath, it’ll do when I’m dyin. That thing I’m talking about is that old time religion which is the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Him crucified and risen from the dead! It’s good enough for me. It’s good enough for my husband and kids. So, the next time you are people watching,  or bump into a stranger, I pray you’d go out of your comfort zone a little, and share with them that old time religion. 

Give me that old time religion

Tis the old time religion, 

Tis the old time religion, 

And it’s good enough for me. 

It was good for our mothers. 

It was good for our mothers. 

It was good for our mothers. 

And it’s good enough for me. 

Makes me love everybody. 

Makes me love everybody. 

Makes me love everybody. 

And it's good enough for me. 

It has saved our fathers. 

It has saved our fathers. 

It has saved our fathers. 

And it's good enough for me. 

It will do when i am dying. 

It will do when i am dying. 

It will do when i am dying. 

And it's good enough for me. 

It will take us all to heaven. 

It will take us all to heaven. 

It will take us all to heaven. 

And it's good enough for me. 

Give me that old time religion 

Tis the old time religion, 

Tis the old time religion, 

And it's good enough for me.

Love

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

That’s in Matthew.

It’s been 3 months (to the day) since I’ve written last. I knew I wanted to take a little break but at the same time I didn’t realize that many days had racked up. I admit life has been kind of hectic the past year, but I finally feel like I’m settling into a routine.

If you know me well, you know I remember dates. Today, which is May 1st, 2019, marks ten years since Grant’s grandma went to Heaven. Nadine. She was a brown eyed lady who, as Danny, my father in law always says of her, “had a bee-hive hairdo.” 

I met her back in 2006 when Grant and I started courting. (That’s biblical dating.) I don’t think it was a coincidence that less than a year after becoming a Christian I got to know Nadine. Once Grant and I married in 2007, I spent many days with her since we only lived about a mile or two apart, as the crow flies. I would pick her up and she’d come over and watch me clean my house and she’d root me on saying “you’re such a good little house wife.” The more she said stuff like that; the better I cleaned! She would ask me to open the Bible and read to her out of Ephesians or James usually. Once I had our video camera at her house and Grant (as usual) had the itch to do a prank call. So, I started rolling and he got on his cell phone and stood directory behind her recliner she was sitting on and she answered her home phone. He went on and pretended to be this man who’s wife had left him and he couldn’t live without her and needed Nadine to pray for him! After Nadine reassured this poor man on the other end of the line that he most definitely could live without this woman who had run off and left him, she started to pray. Aunt Betty, who is her daughter who lived with her, spoke up and said “MOTHER! That’s Grant!!!” And about that time, Grant came from around the recliner and stayed talking in the disguised voice and Nadine jokingly gave Grant a whippin and we all laughed and laughed.

Another time she was insisting Dolly Parton died and she had her funeral on “VDV” (that’s what she called a dvd) and so after I kindly told her I really didn’t think Dolly was dead or I would have heard that. She insisted that I put that vdv in. So, I did, and across the screen it said “HOME-GOING SERVICE OF DOTTIE RAMBO.” We had a good laugh over that. 

I have a other stories I could tell. Some funny. Some more sentimental. But there are some things I like to keep close to my heart. 

Nadine taught people how to love! That’s all I knew to say at her funeral when Danny told me say a little something when it was his families turn to talk. I told that crowd of people that I know I was so loved and welcomed into such a large family all because Nadine had taught all of them how to love people. 

So, I know I don’t have anything to profound to say today, do I ever though? But, as I think and look back on Nadine’s life and the 3 years she was a part of my life, and she was a part of mine, I am thinking today how I can love more. 

Love people unconditionally. 

Love people willingly.

Love people who just don’t deserve it in the world’s eyes. 

Love people who are different from you.

Love people without the apology.

Love them with no strings attached.

Love them with no expectations of having that same love returned!

I was forgiven of much before I came to Christ. And for the past 13 years of being a Christian, I still have been continually forgiven! So, when I read the Bible it makes it pretty clear, A-B-C, and kindergarten level for us all to understand that to be given God’s forgivenesses- we must forgive others. 

Right here in Matthew, chapter 6.

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

So, I know it’s not much, but I wanted to honor a lady who loved me like I was truly her own blood family- as she loved everyone. And pass on what she taught me. And what I strive to do in all my relationships. 

I understand there will be times you’ve done all you can do, and said all that can be said, but when we love like God wants us to love- we won’t focus on the hurt or the pain we felt from past friendships or relationships. Maybe your dad abandoned you and your siblings as a child. Or maybe your spouse left you for another. Maybe your grown child wants nothing to do with you. Maybe a friend decided a few bumps in the road just wasn’t worth working through. Or maybe you feel you constantly are trying to win someone’s love over. Pick your situation or fill in the blank. We’ve all been there to some extent and at some point. But; please know that loving is always the answer. I don’t have some big long description or theological explanation of what it means to love like Christ, but I can tell you we can look at His example and follow His lead. Love your enemies. Bless them. Pray for them! If you see they are hungry or in need- feed them. 

Love is not what it is portrayed in the movies. It’s humbling yourself to others and not expecting anything in return. Let me repeat. Humbling yourself and expecting NOTHING in return. 

That’s all for today. On this pretty May Day. :) Thank you for reading. 

What I learned on Joe's Road

I've heard the phrase bittersweet all my life, but until now I never have experienced it's true meaning.

As we are cleaning up, packing up and heading out on a new adventure God has us on, I have paused a few times to reminisce on the many days and seasons I have living on this little prairie.

To some it may seem out of pocket, but for us, it was the perfect fit.

This coming June will be the eight year mark that Grant and I moved a three bedroom, two bath double wide onto a pile of dirt. I was six months pregnant with our first child and was working the minimum 40 hours a week in Wichita, so I couldn't be there the day they moved our house out to the land. Grant let me take four stakes and put them exactly where I wanted each corner of the house to sit. Grants family already lived here and I was so excited to receive photos of the trucks pulling the home in, positioning the two halves together, from my brother in law Garrett. It was finally happening! The home we'd bring our baby girl home from the hospital to was being put together before our eyes. That was June 2011.

Each year we would add a little something to the home. Eight years later, it's pretty well a little dream home in my opinion. 

We brought Raylea home to her little pink room October that year. We learned quickly that a 7 pound person could bring out the very worst and best in you! Nearly every one of my friends were still in college, maybe in a dating relationship. I was in a part of life they had yet to experience and I felt a bit like an alien. I had baby blues for a month or two, but then it lingered for a few months. Finally when Ray was around 4 months old, it went away. I learned being a new mom was not meant for sissies! I think back on the first few months of being a first time mom, and it just seemed dark and lonely. That is why I am very sensitive to moms when they come home from the hospital, especially with that first bundle of joy. I learned to be helpful to new moms even when I was tired myself.

When Ray hit a year old, Grant and I both decided it was time to have another! Well, it wasn't God's timing though. Thirteen months later, the tests still said negative. I had friends getting married at this point and some talking of having babies. I learned to be happy for their exciting news and trust God with my confusion. I learned to be happy for others and not sulk for myself. Finally, at the 13 month mark of waiting, we got a faint positive. I went to Hobby Lobby and got stuff to make a "BIG SIS" sweater for Raylea and I planned how to tell Grant. We told our church that Sunday morning. Literally moments later my stomach felt odd. I felt complications starting. In that very moment my brother in laws and sister in law stood on the stage and sang a song called "Master of the Wind." I was sitting on the front row and I knew I needed to go to the restroom but something inside of me said to sit still and listen. 

These words rolled out of the speakers and fell deep into my soul.

My boat of life sails on a troubled sea
Whenever there's a wind in my sail.
But I have a friend who watches over me
When the breeze turns into a gale.

I know the Master of the wind.
I know the Maker of the rain.
He can calm a storm, make the sun shine again.
I know the Master of the wind.

Sometimes I soar like an eagle in the sky
Above the peaks my soul can be found.
An unexpected storm may drive me from the heights
Brings me low, but never brings me down.

I was experiencing an unexpected storm.

After the song was over, Brooke came over to me and I told her I needed to leave. Grant wasn't sure what was going on exactly but I told him I was stepping out. She quickly met me at her car and drove me home. I bent down crying in the seat as she held my hand. I went home, where Grant and his mom soon met me and family came and went throughout the day. I sat in the tub crying. Not too many hours later I finished miscarrying the baby. The next day I had to visit the doctor. They called and confirmed my counts and that I had indeed miscarried on my own which would keep me from having to come back into the doctor. I sat outside Goodwill by myself after receiving the call and waited for Grant to come back to the car. I text my older brother, and he tried calling me and I didn't answer because I was too upset, so he left me a comforting voicemail. I learned that people who truly and really care for you, will be there at the hard times in your life. I had some people avoid me like the plague because I guess they thought they would cause more damage by acknowledging my situation. I learned during that time to be very sensitive to women who go through such trials. I have had several friends lose babies after my miscarriage, and I feel I wouldn't have been able to have been as sensitive if I didn't understand to some extent how they were feeling during those dark days and nights. I learned what it means for the Lord to give and take away. I learned what it meant to trust Him, whether I was on a mountain top or in a lonesome valley. Perhaps a miscarriage doesn't seem to be a big deal to you, because it's common, but so is losing a spouse or having a sick child. Just because it's common doesn't mean it shouldn't hurt. If you know someone who has went through, or is going through a miscarriage, or trying for a baby, I beg you to be sensitive to them. Think twice about blowing up your Facebook with baby content. Think twice about saying your back hurts when you're 8 months pregnant in front of your friend who is dying to be pregnant. Just think.

The night the doctor had called to confirm with me, I prayed and asked God to give me peace. I begged him for it actually. I fell asleep and dreamt the most beautiful dream I have ever had. 

Jesus was standing there, His features were so bright I couldn't make them out, but I knew it was Him. He was holding a baby up close to his chest. I woke up with so much peace. 

That baby was to be born in August. And through that dream, God gave me peace. Shalom means peace in the Bible.

So, Grant and I named our second baby, August Shalom.

That same year Brooke and the boys made a cd and surprised me by dedicating "Master of the Wind" to August. It'll always be one of my very favorite songs, as I learned to trust the Master of the Wind with the storms in my life.

Just a few months later we did indeed get pregnant and at 13 weeks started having serious complications. 

Dr. told me to my face it will be a "wait and see pregnancy." The high risk nurse told me she'd never seen that size of the type of complication I was having in her 10+ years and that I had a 50% chance of this pregnancy continuing. Well, that was encouraging. They wanted me on bed rest, but since I had a two year old, they knew that wasn't exactly realistic. So, I really had to trust God with this. Long, long story short. I had that little miracle boy at 36 weeks and the cord was wrapped so tight around his neck when he came out, he wasn't crying and the Dr. said he had to pinch him to get him to cry. I had lots of blood loss and was on the line to get a transfusion. Thankfully I got to go home after only two days.

Jack began having seizures around 6 months old. I won't go into detail, but it was a scary time. We were sent to a brain specialist who found something on his brain with the waves of it showing issues. He said that is caused only by a tumor or a brain bleed. Encouraging news again. We prayed. Our church anointed him. Our family fasted. We watched Jack be put to sleep at 9 months old and sent through the tube you see on movies. The next day Jack had his last EVER seizure and the neurologist said he doesn't know what happened but there was absolutely nothing wrong with his brain and he had to take back all the statements he had made about him having many signs of cerebral palsy and many other issues. 

I learned that God had the final say over my little Jack and that no Dr. could tell me his fate, whether that was while he was in my belly or in my arms. He had many negative things spoken over him and God has done nothing but kept him protected. He is our only son and I believe God has something out of this world spectacular in mind to use this vessel named Jack Gannon Ledbetter. I'm honored to be his mom and I pray all the time for God's wisdom as I teach him and for God's anointing to fall on his life.

Grant has went through a few chickens in his day. The most recent being a batch Uncle Zane sent us home with. Raylea and Jack have always loved playing with them, feeding them, and checking the eggs. I learned watching them play, that you don't need stuff or a bunch of fickle friends to make you happy in life. Just God's creation is plenty.

My mom gifted Raylea with a willow tree for her first birthday. Ray turned 7 in October 2018, and that tree is massive. The kids play under it as though it's a play house! I researched online if I could dig it up some way but it's roots are simply to deep. I would kill it if I tried to move it. I used to think I might be the same way... I couldn't leave my roots of Sumner County, Kansas... but I'm planted by the Water, so wherever God leads us, we will be okay because our roots aren't in physical ground. No, we are planted in such a way that some may not understand. We have roots down deep by a stream and I am afraid to ever get away from that stream. God's peace is next to that stream. So, yes, for this time of our life, for a few years? For twenty years? I don't know... Grant and I try to never plan out our lives because we know God is the Protector and Planner. He has always told us when it's time to go and when it's time to stay. It seems we've been told to "go" a lot more than "stay", but I have prayed countless prayers over Grant's pillow in our 11 years of marriage, that God would use us however He wishes. I never once have prayed for God to keep us comfortable, with a steady paycheck, or with the same relationships. I've always just prayed for God to use us and keep us sensitive to His voice, nobody else's. I have learned the lesson of leaning and listening while on Joes Road. 

I moved my altar to the woods a couple years ago. Last summer I fell down at it on a hot summer day. I told God I was giving Him a certain situation that I had no control over. I felt the SON beat down on me. I felt God say, "I got you, Hannah." I have received kindness from people I never thought I would see it from ever since I prayed that day.

I have learned to just listen and lean on Him... and I'm still doing so.

A few years back, I went through depression. I actually was so down, I don't really remember very many details in my life during that 6 months unless I see a video or a photo. Arrow was born in the middle of it, and she brought much happiness to my life. 

Sitting on my living room couch, my family prayed over me and I was miraculously delivered from depression that January evening. 

I learned God heals instantaneously, too! I've not once dealt with depression again and that's been over 2 years ago now. 

I learned friends will come and friends will go. Some as quickly as the seasons change and leaves fall off of the trees, they will vanish. But, I also learned there are some Jonathon's out there, there to stay, there to be loyal, there to sharpen my iron. There to just be. I thank God for each alike, for if I hadn't had some leave, I wouldn't be thankful for those who stayed. I learned how to be a friend, to the friendless, and I learned to trust God with all my relationships.

 I've seen God do the same in Grant's life. It's been a wonderful thing to see.

I learned to be a more loving wife. Not such a nagging one. Five or six years ago, I couldn't say that! But, God showed me things I was doing wrong and I can say with much gladness, my marriage is the most unified it's been in our 11 years. Far from perfect, but what is perfect anyways?? Rhonda got his name from the scripture about God granting Hannah's petition to have a child... and obviously my name is from Hannah in 1 Samuel... same passages. So, I think God had it planned way back in 1988 when we both were born that we'd be the team He wanted together. I'm sure glad I learned on Joes Road that being a wife isn't what the world has it painted out to be... but I learned what it says in the Bible. That she is to be a helper, not a hindrance. She is to be a safe haven, not someone who causes strife. She is to be a encourager, not someone who puts down. I learned those lessons all on my own. Me and my Bible. Usually at the kitchen table, before anyone was awake. I learned to be a Christian in my marriage at home, in private, not just around people and put on a front. I learned to have peace and to make peace and work for peace. I learned to appreciate a man who has only been faithful to God, me and his kids. I learned to appreciate someone who cares more about my happiness then their own. I learned to be a friend, not just a wife.

I learned to pray with him and over him. I don't pray loud, I don't sweat and holler or use big fancy words. I pray how God made me to pray, and for me, that is sometimes so quietly, you can't hear the words coming out. That is the most important thing I can think I learned while on Joes Road. I learned to pray. In my own unique way. I'm pretty redneck, so I'm glad God understands me when I say words that aren't in the right context. "for now on..." (inside joke with you, Grant.)

But, I am teared up thinking of my special times praying here. Yes, I've stayed home and raised all my kids here the first several years of their lives. I've spent 8 Christmas' here. I have had friends of every kind sit on my porch or at my table. I've made countless cups of coffee for Aunt Kay. I've had almost all my kids' birthday parties here. I've burnt more food than I care to admit in my little kitchen and I've watched Grant drown it in ranch dressing to be able to swallow it down as he tried to keep from gagging. I've learned how to make homemade ice cream, sweet tea and overnight oats here. I have sprayed off my porch and house more times than I care to admit. I've taught Raylea to read at our kitchen table and now I've been working on Jack. I've also watched my kids draw picture after picture with chalk on the cement right outside my kitchen window. I went a few weeks without my smartphone this past month and I realized we complicate life so much by living through a 5 inch screen. I learned that getting rid of my social media wasn't enough. Deleting apps such as YouTube and Pinterest was just as necessary for me to be more present to my family. Everyone is different, but for me, I found these things very time consuming, so I'd rather just cut the access off rather than waste time using them. I have been learning how to use my time more wisely lately.

Sure, eight years may not seem long to some of you. But, to me, it's been the happiest 8 years of my life. It's been the lessons learned that make those years so precious. God's led us down many roads before, but He has always given us that hope and promise that we will reach the other side. So, in the next month as we pack up and move east, I will be doing a lot of thanking as I go through many memories God allowed us to have here. This was a season. Now, onto the next.

We will not once give up on God's promises and we will never give up on following Him, even if it isn't the comfortable and convenient thing to do. So often times people think if you walk away from something, you are quitting or giving up, but in God's ways, He also will demand that you walk towards something instead of staying put. So, I have learned that most definitely. I'm so glad I have a husband who knows when to stay and when to go, because He listens to one Voice.

To walk, doesn't mean to quit, it often means to begin. 

One day, if God allows me to, I will write a book. I will likely have a chapter in it about Joes Road. Because this was just a fraction of what I'd like to say about this piece of ground.

I've learned lessons I never thought I'd learn before I moved out here, but I wouldn't be who I am today without those divine teachings from the Master.




Listen to God today. You might have to clear out some noise first. But, it's well worth the listen.