Leaning on the Lord

 

 

 

 

 

Have you been running from uncertainty? Have you been trying to force yourself to stay in a womb to stay protected and safe, yet you feel like a fish out of water? Something just isn't quite right... day after day.

 

 

God is a moving God. God is a shaker.

 

 

Emerge into the next place God has for you!

 

 

Labor is necessary to give birth!

 

 

 

Growth is always disruptive!

 

 

It will usually cause pain.

 

 

 

It'll hurt somebody, somewhere, when you are moving to the next dimension. And sometimes that somebody is you.

 

 

 

To be in God's will, to grow, to push out of the womb I'm in, I must be willing to put my feelings and emotions aside and press on to the great calling the Lord has on my families life. You must be willing to do the same if you want to grow! A child must leave it's mothers womb to grow.

 

 

 

 

That will mean saying no. That will mean saying yes. That will mean staying and sometimes it'll mean you gotta go. That means somebody is going to be upset, somebody will be angry and yes, somebody is going to talk about you. Somebody is not going to believe in you or support you.

 

 

 

As a great preacher once said "it is not your job to manage people's feelings and emotions."

 

 

 

 

God didn't place you in a womb to keep you there. Sure, it's a season, but you gotta go if you wanna grow. You can't stay on the milk forever. You can't stay worried about people misunderstanding you and gossiping about you. I used to be there, but in Jesus name, I never will be again. I'm growing!

 

 

 

You must be willing to lay down your desires and your wants and your will. Cast them into the sea. Allow God to start revival in your soul today! Stop being so concerned with what is going on at a church, family, or business across town or across the country that you miss what God has set right in front of you.

 

 

 

Put the phone down (after you finish reading this) and find your toddler and read them a book. Cuddle and tickle and kiss them. Stop scrolling through Facebook and open up THE Book. I told someone a couple months ago who was constantly seeing negative things on their Facebook to delete it for a month. Just 30 days. I have no idea if they did it or not, but I am confident if they would, they would have a new perspective on some things. What you dwell on, is what you'll become. You dwell on the past, you'll live there. You dwell on God's promises and what He claimed over your future and you'll live it!

 

 

 

 

Since we've been married, we've had to be pushed out of multiple wombs. We are learning what it means to lean on God. Friends will forsake, but the Lord, He will stick closer than a brother.

 

 

 

A wise woman told me that we were called to have God's approval, not everyone else's. Wow. That's a thought, isn't it? How often do you dress for people's approval, we go to a certain place and put filters on our photos. We buy houses and cars and feel we need to have our kid at the top of their class, wearing the best outfit in the room. What's even more sad, is this has subtlety crept into our church. Our youth. Our young children. I was shocked when Raylea, our oldest, came in contact with her first clique at the young age of four. My Uncle Zane preached this Sunday morning an amazing message on brotherly love. What I got out of it was, if we can't love others, forgive others and say we are sorry to others, we aren't even really saved. I agree 100%.

 

 

 

Jesus said in the book of John, that we are to love one another as He loves us. And that by us loving each other, all men will know that we are followers of Christ, if we have love for each other.

 

 

(John 13:34&35)

 

 

 

 

How more straight do you need it? If you really want your lost son to come home, why won't you make peace with those around you? If you really want your husband to be born again, stop holding a grudge about something he did 20 years ago. If you struggle with unforgiveness, I beg you to study the Bible today and see how serious it is that we forgive each other. Not just forgive, but truly truly humbly forgive them. Over and over again.

 

 

 

 

 

I have messed up so many times. I have said hurtful things. And in turn, I have had hurtful things said to me. But, I know if I want my heart to stay pure and right, I must daily ask for forgiveness to the Lord and to anyone who comes in contact with me who I offend even the slightest. I pray for my heart to be tender, even when other's are calloused.

 

 

 

Offer a hug even if you'll be rejected.

 

Pray for your enemies.

 

Wonders will take place in your heart when you can pray for those who hurt you.

 

Wonders will take place when you stop dwelling on the pain and start hoping for peace.

 

 

 

Sometimes, people don't want peace, so you'll have to be okay with that. I have been down that road, and it's a tough, lonely place to be when you are begging for someone to love you and they push you away the harder you try. You will eventually believe the lie that nobody cares for you, that you must do more to win over their love and acceptance and ultimately you'll believe that you will never be enough. Do not go there.

 

 

Do not allow yourself to believe the lie that you are forever in this dark storm and everyone has forgotten you. Because, the truth is, people may have forgot you. Remember, people come in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. People may have decided they don't need you in their life anymore. People may simply be too busy or distracted by their own problems, blessings and life to remember that you were once there for them. It is hard to accept change, but to grow, to mature, to push on to the next level in your walk with God, you have to go through these types of change, rejection, and disruption.

 

 

 

 

 

Stop what you're doing and ask the Lord to soften your heart. Is there someone you need to go to and apologize to? Maybe it was something said years ago, or maybe it is something only you know about. When you say sorry, you do it unto the Lord. Is there someone you stopped talking to because their life took a different direction, and so you stopped putting forth the effort? Call them. Shoot them a text and ask how life is. It always amazes me how special someone feels when I simply pick up the phone, take two minutes to call them and ask how they are and if there is anything I can pray for them about. Give your spouse a big ole kiss when you see them next. Call your adult child and tell them you want to take them on a weekend trip, just the two of ya. Call your friend and just tell them you appreciate them being a friend, in the good and the bad. Make peace with people. Do your part, even if it isn't well accepted. God will deal with their heart and just pray for them to be convicted by the Lord as you were. Remember... COVER. Cover their sin. Cover their wrong doings. Whether you receive an apology or not, it is the CHRISTIAN thing to do, to cover their sin with love.

 

 

 

 

Lastly, I want to quickly share a moving moment in my life. Last month we were on a family vacation with our friends and headed to Dixie Stampede in Branson, Missouri. As we pulled past the Ride the Ducks attraction, we saw the two boats fixing to head out for their tour. I thought to myself how I'd honestly rather go do that, but we already had tickets and plans with our friends to eat dinner and watch Dixie. About an hour and half later we started receiving texts from people who knew we were in Branson, asking if we were okay, that a boat had capsized. We got online and saw the tragedy unfolding on the news before our eyes. National headlines for the days to follow, an event that took place just a couple miles away from us. A quick nasty storm came in and one of the boats, sank. 17 people lost their lives. Many more people's lives were forever changed. One woman lost her kids, her husband and multiple other family members. She said in an interview that when they found her husband, he was holding her babies. One of the babies was the same age as our daughter, Arrow. Arrow loves water. She will climb into a pool when given the opportunity. We have to keep a very close eye on her. She has zero fear of anything. She is strong and brave. But, this little baby died in her daddies arms on their family vacation. Never to experience her second birthday, which we will celebrate for Arrow in a few months. The next morning we were headed to a gospel singing and we passed the parking lot and saw all the cars left. The owners never made it back. They were in eternity that whole night before. I lost it. I buried my face in my hands and I wept. I went into the florist shop in the grocery store and bought two sets of roses and our older two kids placed them on a van. That changed our family. No, I'm not a perfect wife. Grant's not a perfect husband. But we have purposed in our hearts to remember that day and it has changed us as people. It has changed us as Christians. We no longer seem to worry so much about the little stuff. I don't get so frustrated when Arrow dumps out the entire box of cereal, right after she took her diaper off and peed all over the floor and pulled all of my jewelry out of the cabinet. No. I smiled. I got a rag and started to clean up the mess. I sit and play with my kids more. I asked Grant last night as he was falling asleep if he wanted a back rub and Jack said, "rub my back" as he laid on his belly next to his dad. So, I rubbed my boys' backs and thoroughly enjoyed it. I planned more hands on things for our school year instead of making them do so much paper work. We will cook and bake and make a big mess. We will write letters to people and go see the old folks at the nursing  home. Grant is the most giving person I have met, and I have seen him become even more generous with his time and money. We will be different because we realized how short time is. We realized that could have been us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I pray you allow the Lord to soften your heart today and to realize you are loved by the Maker of this world. Stop trying to figure it all out on your own. God has unbelievable plans for you and no force of hell can come against them. You are God's! Start loving, forgiving and growing like it!

 

 



Cast It: Part One- Relationships

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I'm going to share a simple thought I had yesterday while I was reading.

 

 

If you have time open your Bible and read the seventeen verses in Jonah, chapter 1.

 

 

 

Now, I'm going to zone in on a few verses.

 

 

12    And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you.

 

13    Nevertheless the men rowed hard to bring it to the land; but they could not: for the sea wrought, and was tempestuous against them.

 

15    So they took up Jonah, and cast him forth into the sea: and the sea ceased from her raging.

 

17    Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah....

 

 

 

 

 

 

My simple nugget to give today is this. How often do we face a storm, feel stuck inside a cyclone so to speak, because there is something that is displeasing to the Lord in our boat?

 

 

There are many reasons you may be feeling uneasy, unhappy and unsettled in your spirit, day by day and night by night.

 

 

I will make this kind of a series.. (can you tell I'm married to a preacher?!)

 

 

 

 

The first Jonah you must give over to the Lord and cast into the sea for peace to come on your waters is.....

 

 

 

 

Relationships.

 

 

 

There is such a thing as an ungodly/unholy soul tie.

 

 

Maybe you justify the friendship because they are a Christian, or because they were your childhood best friend, or because you are family.

 

 

Listen, if someone is not drawing you closer to God, why do you have them actively in your life?

 

 

There is a big difference in witnessing to someone and showing them the love of God----

and being around someone who gossips about others (and I assure you, if they are talking about others to you, they are talking to others about you as well), always makes you feel worse about yourself and about your circumstances and is only your friend when it's convenient for them.

 

 

 

 

 

In Proverbs it says how iron is used to sharpen iron and how a friend will do that to you and vise versa.

 

You need to be selective with the men (if you're a man) and women (you ladies) you surround yourself with.

 

 

 

I had a friend a while back say her husband was justifying going on lunch dates with a coworker of the opposite sex. That is absolutely ridiculous in my personal opinion. I told her that too. She was asking for my advice... so I told her! Do not give place for the devil. I don't care if it's your pastor, youth pastor... if you are not closely related, don't be alone, even in public, when it comes to the opposite sex. Gives people the opportunity to talk, gives the devil a foot in the door and could just set you up for all sorts of failure.

 

 

 

 

I love that old saying. Show me your friends, I will show you your future.

 

 

If you spend a lot of your time around people who are toxic, you'll soon become that way.

 

 

If you spend your time with someone who doesn't hinder your relationship with God but rather, they encourage it, you'll soon be more of a nourishing friend yourself!

 

 

 

Remember, two are better than one. When one falls, the other is there to lift the other up. I am so thankful for those friends who have lifted me up. Who encourage me with their words. Who cover me with love rather than uncover me and tell others my faults or share my wounds, hurts, dreams and aspirations.

 

 

I have an 8 word question....

 

 

Do your friends want to be like you?

 

 

Or are you an example of what they strive to not be like...

 

 

..that's a humbling thought if you'll sit and answer that honestly..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cast that relationship into the sea and give it to the Lord.

Let me explain.

 

 

Maybe it's a close friend. It's your dad. It's your mom. It's your sibling. It's your in-law. It's your aunt or uncle.

 

 

If you have tried, if you have sought peace and offered forgiveness or asked for it, and they still degrade you, you need to give them to the Lord. Be ready at all times to have arms wide open if they come back at a later date and seek peace with you.

 

 

If you're a Christian, that will be your desire. Peace with others.

 

 

 

Now, if you are that other person though, you are the one holding onto bitterness and you are being unforgiving and hateful and trying to get others to side with you... (I've seen and heard this happen one too many times) you need to ask the Lord to forgive you. Then, if possible, if they are still alive, go to them. Do what you can to make peace. Sometimes people will push you away, that's going to have to be something you are okay with. Look at all the people who rejected Christ, do you think you're any better? But, God is always there with arms open to anyone who wants a relationship with Him. And we should be NO DIFFERENT.

 

 

 

 Are you dating someone who pressures you to do ungodly things? I'm not just meaning sexually, but even the movies they watch with you or the music they play in their car. What goes in, will come out. That is why I'm a big believer in listening to what will glorify God, because my life will then do so much more easier.

 

Have heart to heart with that guy or gal. If they can't see where you're coming from, let them go. Trust me, they will find someone else to spend their evenings with and someone else who has no morals or maybe just no backbone.





Maybe you let down your convictions that you once had because the influence of a friendship. Once again, if they can't respect your values and convictions, you don't need to waste anymore time nourishing that ungodly soul tie. They will bring you down much sooner than you will lift them up.
Grant has given an illustration a few times where he stands on a chair or pew and has someone try to pull him down while he tries to pull them up. Never fails. The person can be half Grant's size, but they will pull him right down to their level. That is what the devil does when you link up with ungodly friends. He uses them and their influence to pull you down.

 

 

 

I used to idolize people who rejected me. I really did. I worried myself sick over people who I was never going to be good enough for. Or people who just didn't want to be Hannah's friend anymore. I took it personal. A lot more personal than I care to admit. God had to teach me a hard and, I'm not proud to admit this, but a long lesson, that I will not have everyone's approval. And if I have it, that doesn't mean it's there to stay. I will eventually do or say something that isn't just right or I will not be convenient anymore. I let my worth in other's eyes, define me for some time. God had to deliver me supernaturally from this not too terribly long ago.

 

I thank Him for this freedom. I thank Him for that lesson!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pray this for yourself and for others.

 

Lord, I give you __________. Let me (them) draw close to You today. Free my (their) mind from rejection and unforgiveness. I want my heart only right and pure before You. You Lord, are who I will stand before one day, so clean and clear my heart, mind and soul in this moment. I lay it all down at Your feet. I cast this care onto you, I am not delivering it to you, but I am CASTING it. They are in your control. All people to come in my life who sharpen me spiritually and who I can sharpen. Remove people who will bring harm and discord. Prune and cut out relationships if they are going to bring down a path that is not in Your will for my life. Let me be thankful for this process, not bitter or angry or hurt. I thank You, Father, for being the friend who sticks closer than a brother. You are there when nobody else is. All friends will fail me at some time, even spouses, parents and children. And not only will they fail me, I will fail them! Allow me to look at my faults and my wrong doings more quickly than I look at others. Soften my heart and break down all walls that are between me and You.

In Jesus name.. Amen.

 

 

Notice in verse 17, the Lord had prepared a fish to swallow Jonah. God will take care of the issue, the person, the sin, if you will cast it out to Him. Stop trying to fix the person, stop trying to force them to love you, stop trying to make them serve God, stop trying to get them to accept your apology, stop trying to be friends with someone who is not at all for you but rather against you, stop taking them into your hands and cast them over to the One who made them. When you do, your boat will stop shaking so bad. You will see a rainbow after this storm.





 

 

There is sadly many relationships, mother/child, wife/husband, father/child, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend/friend... were there is abuse going on. The same advice applies, but you may need to take more action. If you're being hurt and you're in danger, seek godly help or call the police. Until this other person gets in a place where you can be around them and be safe, you need to remove yourself from their presence.






Building Up or Tearing Down

 

 

 

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may Minister Grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you are sealed unto the Day of Redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be you kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:29-32

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Negative words can have a lasting effect. We've all encountered the bitter aftertaste of words that were spoken to us, about us, or from our own mouths.

 

 

Have you shared with someone your deepest hurts, concerns and feelings about a situation? Or about other people?

 

 

"But, they were prayer request," you defend! Ah-ha! Let me guess then, you guys held hands and lifted those poor folks up in prayer right there at your Applebee's booth. I highly doubt that.

 

 

 

I have had a few foot-in-mouth moments myself. If you say you haven't had any, you are probably just oblivious to the fact that you have. Or... you're lying.

 

 

 

Seriously though, think of a time you said something that was just not nice. Maybe it was true.

There are a lot of things that are true that we could say, but that doesn't make it okay.

 

 

 

 

If we would all just live by that good ol' saying...

If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say anything at all!

 

 

 

 

Wow. Imagine that. Social media would lose all it's drama. The news would have nothing to say anymore. We all would have to learn how to hold a conversation again. Your prayer meetings would get a lot more spiritual. Your anxiety would diminish. The world would look at the church as a unified body of loving, forgiving believers instead of a house full of hypocrites staring down their noses, back biting each other.

 

 

 

 

Now, there is a time to correct a friend, which we all should be okay with, if we really want to be closer to the Lord. Friendship is so much more than buying each other birthday presents and even more than defending them when nobody else is. True friendship is always growing. True friendship sharpens each other. To grow, there will be some discomfort. Like a seed when it comes in contact with water, it has to burst out of it's shell and push through the ground above. There is always work and some pain when something is growing, and that includes relationships. This allows forgiveness, mercy, and grace and your hearts to be turned to the Father in those dark valleys. Like it says in Proverbs, "Open rebuke is better than secret love." Meaning, a love that says and does nothing is not as valuable as an affection that rebukes.

 

 

 

 

And the next verse, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

 

A 'friend' who will kindly tell you of your mistakes or faults is not destructive, but helpful! The one who flatters you and tells you everything is well, when in reality it's not, is said by God to be "deceitful" and that means an 'enemy.'

 

 

 

 

 

A godly friend will always guide you back to the Cross in every situation and faithfully help you in the good and the bad times.

 

 

 

 

 

I am so thankful for people who have lovingly corrected me in my Christian walk. When I first was saved I needed lots of correcting and guiding. They didn't call me out in front of a group of people. They didn't mention me as a prayer request to someone else behind my back. They didn't bad mouth my shortcomings to their other friends. No, those godly saints lovingly covered me in prayer in those moments. They didn't say they would pray and then go off and gossip about me to someone else. They held my hand and prayed. One lady out of state prayed with me over the phone just last year when I was fighting something in my heart. They not only prayed, they gave me the Word. They brought it to me and applied it to my situation. They wrote me a card in the mail. They stayed with me at the altar. They were used greatly by Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

My favorite hymn, Through it All, says in it,

 

 

 "I've had many tears and sorrows, I've had questions for tomorrow, there've been times I didn't know right from wrong, but in every situation, God gave blessed consolation, that my trials come to only make me strong."

 

 

 

I have goose bumps just typing those words.

 

 

 

 

Through it all God will be there. Through your dark, lonely times. Through your biggest failures and shortcomings. During your greatest victories. Through every season, He is there. I read just this morning about Job and how even his own wife, who was supposed to be his HELP meet was being a HINDERANCE meet, told him to curse God and just die! God was still with Job even when his own wife wasn't encouraging him anymore. Sometimes, we go through personal trials and dry, lonely deserts without anyone there to offer comfort. But, I promise you this, God is there with you. If you are a Child of God, His Spirit is inside of you. No better friend than the One you'll have in Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

Alright, so...back to your tongue.

 

You blew up and said something hateful to your spouse. You said something cruel to your kid. Or your adult kid. You mentioned someone's name and spoke about them in a rude way and you didn't even know why you did it. You found yourself just listening and maybe agreeing to someone who was venting to you about someone. You were short with the cashier because they didn't give you enough change. You wrote off your dad because of the things he said and did to you 25 years ago. You talked all the way home from church about the preacher's message in a negative way. You put down someone's appearance. You were hateful to a friend and you justified it and you've never even considered apologizing because your pride won't let you. You talk about all the things your husband does wrong to your mother. You talk about your wife to your best friend. You talk about so-and-so's family and how they don't know how to raise children correctly. You complain about the church's carpet color. You unleash your anger on Facebook about how bad someone treated you ten years ago. You yelled at the waitress because your order was incorrect.

 

 

 

 

The list could go on and on and on... so many examples of how we allow corrupt communication to come out of our mouths.

 

 

Scroll back up and read the first verse at the top of this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's okay, I will wait for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, so what did it say? Paul says to let NO corrupt communication come out of your mouth! NONE. Zilch. Obviously, with technology these days we can communicate through a phone or laptop, but it still applies. So, what do we say then? We can edify others. No, we must! If we want to live a victorious life united with Jesus AND others, we must edify each other. I don't care if they don't look like you, don't go to your church, offended you on multiple occasions, or don't speak your language. Try the rest of this week to not say a SINGLE corrupt word about someone, and when you feel the urge to still talk, then BUILD THEM UP!

 

 

Think about that.

 

 

 

Does what you say of others build them up or tear them down?

 

 I started something several months back. When I started to have a negative thought, (because we all know what we think on, we will eventually speak out loud) but when I have a negative thought about a person or a situation, instead of allowing Satan to use my own God given brain against me, I say a prayer for that person or about that situation and I give it over to God and pray blessings. It has brought so much peace to my heart and life and I have been able to help other people do the same thing when they come to me with a negative comment, opinion or fact about something.

 

 

 

When we speak negativity, it says in the Bible we are grieving the Holy Spirit.

Who in their right mind would want to do that?

 

 

 

Lastly, we are told to let all bitterness, anger, jealousy... anything EVIL or UNGODLY, we are to PUT IT AWAY FROM US.

 

 

Be kind to others, tenderhearted and forgiving each other, JUST as Christ forgave US!

 

 

 

Just think, we would see so many more people saved if they saw the church reconcile amongst themselves. If they saw it's members stop gossiping and tearing each other down. If they would stop being jealous of the group of friends across the church. If they would come to worship God instead of come to church to sit with their clique and go to lunch with their clique. Why don't you sit by a stranger this coming service? Why don't you offer to buy their meal afterwards? Edify and lift them up. You have no idea how many people are out there just waiting for one person to make them feel loved. One person to make them feel like they matter in this great big world.

Show them what a Christian really looks and talks like.

 

 

 

 

 

The devil will always fight God's people and try to make the Church as whole look foolish and bad to the world. Stop giving him room by allowing him to control your tongue. Get down on your knees and ask God's forgiveness. I promise you, there is nothing like being washed by the Blood and allowing God's SON to shine in your life. Peace and contentment is what it'll bring. Not as the world gives, but peace that only comes through the Father.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your time and I pray you draw closer to God today.

 

 

 

 

 

The Happy Church

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wishing she could become invisible, she sat there with her arms crossed.

 

 

She knew the routine. Singers and musicians would come to the stage. Pastor would cry as he asked people to give Jesus a chance.

 

 

She had sat through nearly three months of this weekly and she had stayed strong, not giving in. She would argue with herself that she knew there was God and she knew she was going to Heaven. She reminded herself she was baptized just five years prior at the church down the street. She was a pretty good girl too. She had the respect from all of her friends' parents at least.

 

 

 

she thought to herself...

 

Yes, I am saved. I don't need to make a big deal and go to an alter and have everyone stare at me. I am just fine. Just a few more minutes and I can get out of here.

 

 

 

 

Her heart pounded harder. Faster. She looked up to see her dad, the pastor and the assistant pastor asking if she would like to come pray. How could she say no these men?

 

 

 

She got up, unsure of what was even happening or what on earth she was supposed to do when she got down there.

 

 

 

The three men laid their hands on that seventeen year olds back and prayed.

 

 

 

She choked back the tears and she tried to keep strong.

 

 

What is happening??

 

 

Tears fell.

 

 

She looked up to see the Pastor looking straight at her, and with tears rolling down his face he said to her, "God knows what those tears mean. You don't have to say a word."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FIVE YEARS BEFORE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This girls father had been delivered supernaturally from alcoholism. Gambling. A marriage that was falling apart.

 

 

 

The family started to attend a church but after five years, the pastor left.

 

 

 

The girls mom said, "Can we go to the Happy Church??" She was speaking of the Free Will church down the road that they passed each time they left their current church and were headed home. Everyone always was smiling outside and they sometimes heard the music from inside as they drove past.

 

 

 

"Well, they bought carpet from me in the past and I know of them, so we can try it." the dad replied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, that October of 2005 they began attending the Happy Church.

 

 

 

That November the girl's mom threw her a surprise birthday party for her 17th. So many people from the Happy Church came. The garage was filled with people she only knew for less than a month.

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE & A HALF MONTHS LATER

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As she stared back at that Pastor, she realized there was something much deeper to God than she had realized.

He knew what her tears were saying.

 

 

 

 

God began placing people in her life who knew what it really was to be Christ-like.

 

 

 

Then on an ordinary Wednesday night, a man was giving his testimony for the first time in the youth room of the yellow bricked Happy Church. He told about how God changed his life in ways that were very similar to how God changed her dad's life. She listened. He gave an alter call and the singers sang. Nobody went forward. She was keeping strong once again. But this time something was different, very different.

 

 

 

He said, "Singers, please sing one more song. I feel like somebody is supposed to come down here."

 

 

The girl was sitting a few rows back, and she knew that somebody was her. Without giving it a single thought, she made her way to that wooden altar at the front of the building and knelt down. She was surrounded by every person in that room, praying over her as she accepted the Lord as her Savior and repented of her sins.

 

 

 

 

Less than two years later, that girl married the Pastor's nephew, who she met at the Happy Church.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Happy Church is the Wellington Free Will Baptist Church.

 

That Pastor is Zane Brooks.

 

The man who gave his testimony in the youth building that Wednesday night is Jason Bruns, who is now Pastor Zane's assistant pastor and the church counselor.

 

That girls' parents are David and Laurie Gaston.

 

The nephew of the Pastor that the girl married is Grant Ledbetter.

 

 

 

 

 

And that girl... is me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was born in 1988 at the St. Luke Hospital there in Wellington, Kansas.

 

 

And the best day of my life happened seventeen years and four months later, on Wednesday, March 15th, 2006, just a couple miles away as the crow flies.

 

 

 

 

That was 12 years ago, this month. I have never regretted my decision of making Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. I only regret that I didn't make the decision sooner, but God knew when I would get saved and when it would bring Him the most glory.

 

 

 

 

I thank God for the people who were there for me those months leading up to the day I was saved. I thank God that they never gave up on me or made me feel less of a person because I wasn't saved. The Happy Church has since grown and has now nearly filled up their new church.

 

 

 

My dad is the head Deacon and a Sunday School teacher, and my little brother and his wife are the Wee Worship Leaders. I feel so much joy to see God using my family in the very church I was saved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you need joy, peace, an answer to all that is wrong... remember, God knows what your tears mean.

Don't wait until it is too late to accept Him. Don't let that last song pass you by.

 

 

 

 

 

 

For all have sinned, and come short of the Glory of God;

Romans 3:23

 

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

Romans 5:6

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see, we've all sinned. But there's a remedy! Jesus Christ!

 

 

He is the remedy for your wretched soul and for your pain and heartache. He is the remedy for your loneliness and isolation. He is the remedy for your anxiety and depression.

(I know, I dealt with both of them.)

 

 

 

He is the remedy for your broken marriage. He is the remedy for your backbiting tongue. He is the remedy for your unforgiveness.

 

 

 

He is the remedy for your fear of the future. (Trust me, I dealt with this too.) He is the remedy for when you feel rejected and forgotten. He is the remedy for your soul.

 

 

 

Make Him Lord over every part of your life. Not just the parts that are easy to give Him.

 

 

 

No, lay your pride down and be a friend, not an enemy. Be a supporter, not discouragement. Be a helper, not a hindrance. Be a soul winner, not a hypocrite. Be joyful instead of sorrowful!

 

 

 

Speak life to and about others rather than death. God has taught me so much since the day I was saved. Some lessons I had to learn alone.. Some seemed unfair and rather hard. But, I believe to stay on fire for God, He must keep me under the fire to bring impurities out and to burn out anything that is keeping me from being in close communion with Him. That may include relationships. That may include dreams. That may include my plans. I might share that with Grant for him to preach! HAHA. Okay, but seriously, God is working on me and He won't stop until I make it HOME. I truly write with the prayer that someone out there is able to draw closer to the Lord by reading what I say.

 

Maybe just one person will do that, but I will gladly do that for you.

 

 

 

 

 

As always, THANK you for the time you took to read my words and for seeking the Lord.

 

He will be there with you when everyone and everything else is gone!

 

So, place all your happiness and contentment in Him, not a person or circumstance!

 

 

 

Have a FANTASTIC March. :)

 



I will call on the Lord

I will call on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

2 Samuel 22:4

 

The Lord liveth: and blessed be my rock; and exalted be the God of the rock of my salvation.

2 Samuel 22:47

 

I love it when I find little nuggets. I found this years ago, right around when I had first became a Christian, that these two verses were in the same chapter and they are also the words to a song I sang growing up.

 

 

 

I will call upon the Lord.

 

 

 

What does that mean when you read that?

 

It doesn't say I might, I will think about it, I will have to see if I have time at the end of the day...

 

 

 

No, it says,

I will.

 

 

As a stay at home mom of three, I have little actual alone time. Recently, Jack came in my room and saw me praying by my bed for a moment and I was crying. I honestly feel like that is a good thing for a child to see. I want him to know his mom asks God for forgiveness and that I call on His name. I need God every single moment. I'm assuming you do too!

 

 

 

At my last 9-5 job, well, my hours were actually 8-6, the boss, who I am sure wouldn't mind me mentioning his name, Lonnie Bosley, allowed his employees who wanted to, to meet and pray before we started our day. I watched God bless his business because he called on the Lord. I loved listening to some of those shop guys pray! Straight from the heart.

 

 

 

I have written about this countless times I feel like, but when our only son, Jack, went through a very scary time of seizures and was delayed on several things, we had to see a neurologist who insisted he had many signs of cerebral palsy. On a brain test it showed a "slowing." He called me at nearly midnight to say this was either a tumor or a bleed on his little nine month old brain. Terrified, we scheduled the MRI. The church prayed and family fasted and we found out how truly loved Jack was. The day came for the MRI. They put him to sleep and sent him in the tube. The radiologist said "I don't even know what we are looking for, all I see is a completely healthy looking brain."
That following day was his last seizure EVER. And within a couple months he had totally caught up. God saved his life during my pregnancy with him as well. It was just as big of a miracle. God has amazing plans for my son, Jack Gannon.

 

 

 

As newly weds we had a good chunk to pay in property taxes for the first time. It took us down to less than $20 in our account. Grant payed it before we went into a revival church service. The Pastor, Adrian Condent, announced that the Lord put "Grant and Hannah on his heart," and he asked that they would all take up a special offering just for us! This was a first! The total was a few dollars more than what we just paid out in taxes a couple hours prior.

 

 

 

Depression. I had it for six months. I admitted what it was last January. My family prayed over me. I felt a warming sensation come in my chest and travel all the way down my body and out my feet. It LEFT and has NEVER returned.

 

 

 

Who is worthy to be praised.

 

 

 

I feel so unworthy even trying to explain how worthy He is.

I was at my lowest the day I was saved. I was on my way to a real, burning hell.

Jesus took on every sin you've ever committed when He was crucified.

Think about that.

Think for just a few seconds about your sins.

Those that nobody else knows about. Those that might ruin your good girl/boy reputation. Those that would maybe ruin some relationships you have.

God died for you even when He knew perhaps you would never accept His love. That is true love. That is real. That is something you won't find in a movie or in a friendship. It is unthinkable.

God is worthy of your praise. He is worthy of your worship.

 

 

He made me worthy. Not by anything I did or didn't do, but when I accepted Him and I saw my sin for what it really was, He made me into a new creation. I'm not the same Hannah anymore.

 

 

I praise the Lord for that.

 

 

So shall I be saved from mine enemies.

 

 

When you call on Him and you recognize He is worthy, He will save you.
 

God will protect you in times that your health insurance won't.
 

His Hand will protect you when your gun or nations army won't.
 

His Grace and Mercy will protect you when the devil says you've done way too much wrong!
 

His Love will protect you from feeling rejected by your parent when they walked out on you.
 

His Forgiveness will protect you from holding a grudge.
 

His Joy will protect you from staying in depression any longer.
 

His Peace will give you protection from bitterness and resentment.
 

He will save you from your enemies! BLESS THE LORD. I feel that as I write that!

 

 

 

The Lord liveth.

 

 

 

He was crucified and He did die. That's a fact.

 

 

But, just as much as that is true, so is the fact that He rose from the dead and He is ALIVE.

 

 

He lives!

 

 

Christ Jesus lives today, He walks with me and talks with me...

 

 

That is how I know He lives!

 

 

Someone asked me years ago how I could be so certain that there is a God. They were basically a genius so I was slightly nervous but the Lord filled my mouth. I told them nobody could change my desires and my heart other than God. And He did that in an instant. That is how I know He is REAL.

 

 

When others see me, I want them to see Him.

 

 

If you are a Christian, that should be your thought in every single situation.

 

 

When I do this, say that, react to this... will others see JESUS? Or will they see a flesh filled man or woman only caring for their own self.

 

 

God forgave me and so it is my reasonable service to forgive others! You can do it too through the Power of the Blood!

 

 

How else will the world know we are different? How else will the world be drawn to God?

 They must see it in our actions and reactions! They must see Him!



 

And blessed be my Rock.

 

 

He is not sand. He is not mud. He is not pebbles on a beach. He is not a sinkhole.

 

 

He is your Rock.

 

 

Stand on Him. When everything else fails you, He will not.

 

 

When your marriage seems to be falling apart, He will give you and your mate a solid place to stand.

 

 

When your child is sick, He will give you a dry, safe spot to rest.

 

 

When your dreams have fallen apart, He will lift your head and remind you that nothing has fallen apart... but everything is falling into place.



 

And exalted be the God of the rock of my salvation.



 

Exalted. Lifted up. Worshipped.

 

Praise the God who IS the rock of your salvation!

 

Being a Christian isn't meant to be easy. It's worth it though. It'll be worth it when you stand before God Almighty and He speaks those words to you, that you have been FAITHFUL to Him. The only way to stay faithful and to remain in communion with Him is staying on that Rock. Sure, life may happen sometimes and you may find that the Rock is a few feet, or maybe miles away, but that is and never was God's fault. You are the one who moves away from Him. You are the one who wants to sew your wild oats and to be your own individual and forget the One who will offer you peace, forgiveness and redemption.

 

 

 

It isn't too late to come back to the Rock. After you breath your last breathe though- it is. And it says in the Bible life is a vapor. I have seen babies go to Heaven. I watched Grant's 92 year old grandmother go to Heaven. You don't know how much longer you have.

Call on the Lord.


 

He is there, waiting.

Waiting for a relationship with you. Waiting to give you peace and joy. Waiting to put a sweet healing on your life and soul. Waiting to restore all that the devil meant for evil.

 

 

 

 

Now, what are you going to do with that?

 

 

God bless each and every person reading this. I truly do pray you were blessed and have drawn a little closer to the Lord by reading and applying this today.



The Secret Place in the midst of Disapointments and Aches

 

 

 

 

We have had a wild schedule lately. Out of State for a solid three weeks. Finally home for a few days and I'm enjoying sleeping on my own pillow. So, this morning after making the kid's favorite, pancakes, I was listening to some music while I was loading the dishwasher.

 

 

 

As I listened to a song, I teared up. It was a song I had heard on the radio for years and one my cousin, Crosby, has sung for a while. But, the words just kind of settled with me. Do you know what I mean? When you hear the words to a song, and you think "I could have written that..."

 

 

 

 

I found peace as I listened to these words.

 

 

 

 

 

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt like each line connected to somewhere deep in my soul. In places where even my tried and true friendships wouldn't know of. They sank down and I felt the words. Really felt them. I looked back on my life in the few minutes the song played and I realized I have had a lot of disappointments and aching. Whether you are reading this and you're my tried and true friend, or someone on the other side of the planet... we can relate in that area. You have disappointments. You have aching.

 

 

 

 

Maybe you had hopes and dreams of becoming something certain, and those plans fell through the cracks.

 

 

Your engagement to your high school sweetheart was stopped weeks before the wedding.

 

 

 

Your child was diagnosed with a minor or major illness.

 

 

 

You had to bury your spouse.

 

 

 

You found out your spouse was living a double life.

 

 

 

Your child made some pretty bad choices.

 

 

 

Your friend betrayed you.

 

 

 

Your family rejected you once you became a Christian.

 

 

 

Your health is failing.

 

 

 

You had to experience a miscarriage. Or multiple.

 

 

 

You found out you couldn't have "your own children."

 

 

 

Your boss let you go. No reason.

 

 

 

Your closest friends chose comfort rather than defending you.

 

 

 

 

Your dream home was built. Then, you had to sell it because you were in way over your head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disappointments

 

 

 

 

Aching

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do they happen? I've heard that question more than once. Why do bad things happen to good people? Maybe you've never asked those exact words, but there's a good chance you have asked it in a different form. I know I have. God, why has this had to happen??

 

 

 ----------------

 My writing was interrupted because I got a call from a dear friend who just left a sonogram and they weren't able to find the heartbeat of their sweet little child. I cried and prayed with her. That is an ache. God, comfort my friend...

----------------

 

 

 

 

 

A few years ago I felt betrayal from someone near to me. I asked God why He let this happen.

He showed me that EVERY SINGLE human alive that I will EVER come in contact with, will

let me down. And not only that, I will let THEM down. I think often times we play the victim card when in fact, we are not the victim at all. You think its your parents fault, your siblings fault, your spouses fault, your friends fault, your aunts fault, your uncles fault, your cousins fault, your kids fault, your pastors fault, your best friends' fault...

 

 

Sometimes, it is their fault, but I like to check out my own motives and actions first! I will answer to God for how I treated them. It says in the Bible that if we don't forgive others, God can't forgive us!
I think the hardest person to forgive is the one who doesn't say sorry own up to their wrong.



But...do you know how my relationship started with the Lord?


I said I was sorry.


And He forgave me.


 

 What if that is all that needs to happen with your spouse? What if you need to say you're sorry.


What if you need to tell your kid you're sorry for their childhood.


Tell your friend you're sorry you went MIA during a time they really needed you.


Tell your Pastor you're sorry for not respecting him and his family.


Tell your family member you're sorry you have pushed them away all these years. Own up to it. Be a man or woman. God will bless you for that.


Tell you're child you're sorry you yelled at them.


Tell your spouse you're sorry you haven't been the spiritual leader that God created you to be as the man of the house.


Tell your spouse you're sorry you haven't been a help meet, but rather a hinder meet.



Tell your boss you're sorry you were never on time and never did your job correctly.



Tell that old friend you're sorry for making them feel bad about their appearance.


Tell your doctor you are sorry that you got so upset with him when he told you the bad news.


Tell that person you've held a grudge against that you are sorry.


Go ahead, call them. It will change your life. Just those two words.






I'm sorry.









Tell God you are sorry.






 

 What if all those disappointments and aches are for a reason? I believe they are. I believe at the end of the day, if you are a Child of God, he will turn what Satan and even other people meant for evil and bad and turmoil in your life- God will turn it into good. It may not look that way right now, but He will. You have freewill though, and with that freewill, you have your own choices to make.








You have a choice to say you're sorry.


You have a choice to forgive someone even if they won't say they are sorry.


You have a choice to live in that Secret Place from Psalms 91 day and night.


Sheltered from the storms. Sheltered from the wind. Sheltered from the bullets.


You will be okay. You will. That is something I was told and something I will always tell others.








It'll be okay. You will be okay.






Trust God with your disappointments and aches. He will reveal to you that He is the answer and the refuge You long for.

Place your happiness and worth in Him, not situations, not people, but in the One Who died for you.



The One who meets you in the middle of the night.

The One who wipes your tears.


The One who loves you win you are on the top, and when you're on the bottom.






Find Him in that Secret Place today.



Wounded For Good

But as for you, ye thought evil against me, but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Genesis 50:20

 

 

Have you ever been hurt? Betrayed? Rejected? Forgotten?

 

 

Maybe you are tougher than me, but those things are all hurtful, in my opinion. I have felt all of them, intensely over the course of the past year. I have always loved very deeply, therefore, I get hurt very deeply. It's not really a positive quality of mine, at least in my opinion, but nevertheless, it is one. As much as I have tried to become calloused to betrayal, rejection or being forgotten, I still am such a sensitive person. When somebody in my life hurts, I hurt. When a friend of mine is in pain, I can't just pray for them and go about my day. I feel their pain. I carry those burdens.

 

 

I have went through many seasons in my 29 years. I was lost the first 17 years and 4 months of my life. I had no idea what it was to really be a Christian. After being saved, I went through a season of guilt. I felt bad for any little thing I did wrong prior to being saved. Then I went through a season of depression. It lasted around 6 months. I was miraculously delivered from it one year ago. Then, I entered a season of wounds. Yes, you read that correctly. Wounds. I was bitter at first. I'm just being honest. I didn't understand why I would have to be wounded as a Christian. I always sang and loved the song "Through it all." It was my favorite song during the time we went through our miscarriage. I heard it again recently and the words resonated in my soul.

 

 

If I never had a problem, I wouldn't know God could solve them, wouldn't know what faith in His Word could do...

 

 

I went through betrayal in my teenage years, as I'm sure most people do. You think your "best friend" will be your best friend for then next 75 years and then you realize they are human before you guys graduate high school. But, once I became a Christian, I had no idea I would feel betrayal and rejection by other Christians.

 

 

I started reading about Joseph. If somebody was rejected and betrayed, it was him. If someone had a reason to be bitter, it was him. And if someone had a reason to get even, it was him! But, what amazes me to this very moment about Joseph is the fact that he never threw it up in his brothers faces that he was right all along. Instead, in the end, he wept over them. He showed Christ' love to them when he forgave them.

 

 

 

Has someone lied about you? Or perhaps they didn't lie. Maybe they just repeated a matter that was between only the two of you. You wander why they would take a chance on wounding your heart when you have been only true and loyal to them your entire friendship. No, you haven't been perfect, but you stood by their side and you always defended them. You cried with them. You laughed with them. You worshipped together. You prayed together.

I have always kept a thin sheet up between my fingertips and my keyboard, but I feel I can't help anyone unless I am totally transparent.

 I have spoken to God about how I have felt and He's done a mighty work in my life. I am a private person, so I don't like others to know information about me that isn't skin deep, but as I share a little bit of my heart, I pray someone relates and can get some help knowing I'm making it through the fire and so will they. Remember, when something is under heat, impurities will come to the top. 

 Speaking of talking to God, talk to Him. I have grown closer to God in the past year or two because I have made a point to go to HIM first- not my best friends here on earth.

I have been lied about.

 I have had words put in my mouth.

I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that someone did that to me, or the fact that somebody else really believed what they said. Regardless. I was wounded.

 

 

Have you been rejected? And the more you tried, the more you were pushed away?

I can relate.
 

 I felt that because they didn't want or need me in their life, that was a reflection of my worth. Wounded, again. This wound came at the same time as the betrayal wound. So, I had two wounds I was trying to heal and protect, all the while, the enemy was digging their dirty sharp claws deep into my open wounds, getting me while I was down. Pressing their foot hard into my throat. I truly felt I was suffocating some days.

 

 

I have written about how I have been a people pleaser before. I have also said how I have went through a time of feeling insecure, like I was never measuring up in life. The devil has tried just about any tactic possible to torment my mind. The antidote for ALL of these issues I have been through in the past 29 years have all been found in God's Word.

 

 

I don't have some big newfound explanation on how to get over feeling guilty, how to stop people pleasing and trying to have every single persons approval, how to stop feeling down in the dumps, how to lift your spirits when you're betrayed by a friend, rejected by a family member, forgotten or attacked by the devil...

 

 

No, what I have is the best words known to man. God's Word.

 

 

So, here's my testimony of how God got me through and how He still gets me through.

 

 

When I was feeling guilt...

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

When I was being a people pleaser...

There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand. Proverbs 19:21

When I was depressed or anxious...

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

When I was feeling betrayed...

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

When I was feeling rejected...

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

When I am feeling forgotten...

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13&14

 

 

And the one verse that is my screensaver which I am currently trying to memorize which you can apply to any situation in life...

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Genesis 50:20

 

 

If you are God's child, Satan thinks evil against you. That's a no brainer.

I know I have a lot more to learn in life but as I learn, I want to help share what God has done in my life, in hopes that it will encourage and strengthen someone else out there. Perhaps someone I have not and will never meet on this side.

I am truly sorry for every thing and every person who has ever hurt you. I am sorry for every person who never showed up for you. I am sorry for the racism you experienced. I am sorry for the sexual abuse. I am sorry for the verbal abuse. I am sorry they left. I am sorry they let you go. I am sorry they didn’t choose you. I am sorry they forgot you. I am sorry. 

 

Don't wait any longer for an apology. Sometimes- you just won't get the "I'm sorry," you've longed for, so you can move on. But God wants to heal you and allow you to move on even without an apology.

 

 

 

 

I want to genuinely say thank you for reading and I pray you are blessed by something I wrote. Remember that you ARE enough and that you DO matter and that you ARE needed and wanted.

 

 

 

 

Forgive those who have wounded you. To be forgiven by God, we must forgive others.

Give those around you margin for error. Give them allowance to not always be just perfect. Be quick to say you are sorry and to forgive them. Don't remind them of their faults. Don't expect a pat on the back for doing something good. Don't just pray because it's expected of you as a Christian. Pray because that's how you talk to God. That's how you draw closer to the Friend who will never leave or forsake you. Stop living in the past. Step into the future you were made to trail blaze. You were wounded for good. Just like me.

love, Hannah

 

 

I send this out in a group message on my phone to whoever I know likes to read it, so thanks for anyone who does. Several people have told me they want to share what I say on social media or through other avenues, which I welcome any new traffic and readers. :) Someone from Isle of Man was reading last night. WOW. SO cool.

 

 

 

p.s. even though those who hurt me as a teen or as an adult will never read this, I still want to say and want you to know... I forgive you. Whether you ever say you're sorry or not. I forgive you.

I love you. I mean that.