What makes a true friend, "true?"

 

 

 

We have all said it or heard it.

 

 

 

 

"You're my best friend."

 

 

 

 

 

It's good to have a close friend. A best friend. Even if you have five, a few or just one.

 

 

 

It isn't wrong to have close friend.

 

 

 

 

There are many instances in the Bible where someone was lifted up either physically, spiritually or emotionally by a friend.

 

 

 

To me, that is what makes my friends true.

 

 

 

 

 

It's nice to get a compliment on how you're dressed or how your hair is fixed.

 

 

It's nice to get a compliment that you sounded great singing.

 

 

It's nice to hear you did awesome in that ball game.

 

 

It's nice to hear you cook the best chili ever... right, babe?? :)

 

 

It's nice to hear you are a hard worker.

 

 

It's nice to hear you're a good boss.

 

 

It's nice to hear you're a wonderful mother.

 

 

It's nice to hear you're a good friend.

 

 

 

 

 

BUT.

 

 

Friendship goes beyond compliments and kind words sometimes...

 

 

 

 

Everyone feels loved in different ways and everyone shows love in different ways.

 

 

Have you read that book on the five love languages??

 

 

 

I honestly think "food" needs to be one of those, because that is all Grant would ever need to give me to make me feel loved.  Ok, maybe not all, but that really would be my primary language I am sure!

 

 

 

 

 

I love Grant, so after I learned what his love languages were, I try to meet those needs.

 

 

 

 

He has done the same for me. For example, my second top love language is gifts.

 

 

 

So, that means I feel loved when someone gives me something!

 

 

 

The other day, just because, he gave me a necklace that is in the shape of a heart and says "love" in the middle in cursive writing.

 

 

 

One of his top languages is physical touch, so.... I have been making a point to just walk up and give him a big ole kiss on the mouth randomly!

 

He doesn't mind it either!

 

 

We have both been trying to meet each others needs because we love each other!

 

 

 

ANY, and I mean ANY time in our marriage when things were less than perfect... was because we were in a bad cycle of not meeting each others needs.

 

 

Now, you may be reading this and you're marriage is just amazing and you never disagree and your spouse would say you meet every one of their needs on a daily basis... then you can just stop reading this now. Because you won't need any advice from this young married gal.

 

 

 

 

 

We just celebrated 8 years in December.

 I don't know it all and I don't claim to... but I have learned a few things.


 

 

Honestly, the only truly stressed out times I felt in our marriage was after each of our kids were born and I was putting our kids before my marriage.

 

 

 

 

Easy trap to fall into for us moms.

 

 

 

 

The kids need bathed, fed, entertained, diapers changed and loved on! Grant---- he can fend for himself because I'm tired and I deserve to rest!

 

 

 

I saw that I was right and he was wrong.

 

 

End. Of. Story.

 

 

 

 

Well, after a few come to Jesus meetings... with only me and Jesus.... I saw where I was so wrong in so many ways.

 

 

 

Life is just so short ladies, to live life for yourself and expect everything to be handed to you from everyone around you. Stop expecting your husband to be perfect. He wasn't when you married him, so why do you think he should be now as well??

 

 Man, that is advice I wish someone would have given me about four years ago!

 

 

I don't feel comfortable giving actual orders or advice to men, but I will suggest just loving her like Christ loves the Church!

 

Moving on.


 

 

Grant is my BEST friend.

 

 

He has seen the best of me and the worst!

 

 

He has cuddled me in the middle of the night and made me feel like I am all that matters to him!

 

 

He has written me countless letters telling me how much he appreciates all I do for him and the kids.

 

 

He buys, sells and trades better than anyone I know and that is a great way he supplements our income on top of him preaching for his Uncle Garry at his church and traveling when he can to preach out of state. He makes ends meet for us and me and the kids have not once needed for something.

 

 

 

He sits down and plays with our kids.

 

 

He reads the Bible to us and prays for and with us.

 

 

He will even randomly give me a back rub!

 

 

He has always been quick to say he is sorry (and mean it...)

 

 

He has also always been quick to forgive!

 

 

He loves me and he shows it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have learned a lot about my best friend, my spouse, Grant Daniel.

 

 

 

I mostly have learned more about myself through him.

 

 

 

We have helped each other become better people, parents, spouses and mostly, Christians.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Outside of your spouse, or if you're not married, obviously I'm speaking to you as well...

 

 

 

It is good and healthy to have someone you can depend on and know they see eye to eye with you!

 

 

 

A true friend is not going to be jealous of you.

 

 

A true friend will not speak negatively about you behind your back.

 

(That is why I like to just go to the person and explain how I'm feeling! That is best because you'll end up letting your emotions boil over and you'll say things you regret to other people.")

 

 

A true friend isn't going to make fun of you, or make you feel inadequate.

I have been around people like that... and it all comes down to them being insecure and needing to make someone else feel bad about themselves too.

 

 

 

A true friend isn't going to always make the conversation only about them.

A true friend will be trustworthy.


A true friend will laugh with you... not at you!


A true friend will make you look smart in front of others, not stupid.


A true friend will not point out negative things in your life. They will encourage you!


A true friend will write you a letter!


A true friend will take you out for dinner just because.


A true friend will sit with you when you're having a rough day. And just be there.


A true friend will come visit you in the hospital.


A true friend will get on their knees and pray for you until they see that prayer answered.
 

 

A true friend is going to pray for you and with you.

 

 

I have went through a few pretty tough times in my Christian walk.

 

I can remember when someone would come and pray with me.

 

 

When Jack was told by a neurologist this last summer that he may have tumors on his brain and may have cerebral palsy, I was very down. I was very worried.

 

 

My father-in-laws older brother, Garry Ledbetter, drove clear out to my house and came in and prayed over little Jack. That meant so much. I had many people praying, and many called to pray, but it just felt extra special when he drove out here to be with me and pray.

It was at that same time when my friend Kara came out with her husband and her dad and they surprised us with a huge box of food and gifts for our kids. They wanted to make sure we felt loved during that tough time.



 

 

When we wanted Ray to have a sibling, we wanted a baby for about 13 months, got pregnant, then shortly after miscarried.

 

My mother-in-law sat and comforted me that entire day.

 

 

After I had Raylea, our first baby, I was tired. Really, really tired. I had some awesome friends who made me food and that helped me a ton.

My friend Melanie drove around 12 hours, pregnant herself, to come to the hospital to stay all day and each day she would rub my lower back because I have scoliosis and my back was KILLING me.

 

 

Just days after Raylea was born I remember my mom walking in my back door, grabbing a rag and wetting it and wringing it out. She got on her hands and knees and wiped up my floor.

 

She knew I always had my house tidy, but since I was so exhausted, she took it into her own hands. Folded clothes, cooked, held Raylea. She cared more about seeing me then she did Raylea it seemed! She wanted to make sure I was taken care of too, I suppose. And I was.

My sis, Hill, lives far away right now, but she always sends me random goodies in the mail. She just sent me to the coolest North Face coat you've ever seen for my birthday/Christmas. She definitely meets my "love language" needs! :) But, it isn't just big stuff she sends, she sends me little things that mean just as much, if not more because I know she was thinking about me, and had to haul three kids to the Post Office to ship it to me!

That is love right there, people. :)



I gave those few examples because those are examples of what true friends do and those examples popped in my brain.



They SHOW they love you. Not just SAY it.




A true friend wants what is best for you.

They aren't always trying to have one up on you.




A true friend is rare.




My closest and dearest friends are those who love me for me, want what is best for me, cry when I cry and laugh when I laugh.

I am sure your closest friends are that way as well!



Cherish those friends or maybe it's just one friend.



But cherish them.



Show them that you love them. Learn what makes them feel loved and go out of your way and make them feel loved. Sometimes it's just spending time with them, sometimes it's encouraging words, sometimes it's helping them do something, sometimes it's buying them something that shows you were thinking of them and sometimes (if it's your spouse!!!) it's a hug and a kiss!




Life is too short to pick people apart. Too short to be selfish.



So pray and clear your heart and start new right now if you've been wrong in any relationship or friendship you have.