Today, I have too much to say.
Or, type.
It'll be hard to title this post because it's going to be
just what's on my mind...
I want to always be transparent.
I never want someone to look at me and think just because I
married a "Ledbetter" and he is preacher, that makes me untouchable,
perfect and un-human.
I don't say things on my blog to boast of what I know and
what you don't know about spiritual things, because, trust me, I am still
learning and I will learn until the day I leave this Earth.
One of my biggest pet-peeves is having a conversation with
someone who knows everything about everything and already knows everything you
have to say.
I tend to keep the conversation about the weather with those
kinds of people...
I wanted to say all that before I started to speak my heart
on what God is doing in my life.
So you'll know I'm just being me, Hannah, nobody extra
special.
I know that.
_____________________________________________________
I have aloud God to speak to my heart more in the past
several weeks, than I have any other time in the decade I have been a
Christian.
He has shown me that I was made in His image.
I have realized by making a set time each day to read my
Bible, that God's Word really is food for my soul. Being a mom has been a
little bit of an excuse I have used in the past to make myself feel better for
going a few days without unzipping the cover to my Bible. I'm speaking for
myself here, what I have done and what I have felt recently needed to change
for me to grow spiritually.
I've started in Genesis and I have taken my time not just
through each chapter, but each verse. Thinking about what it means, how can I
apply it today and just how amazing God is.
I have never read it front to back, straight through, so I'm
excited about this journey. I'm not trying to do it in a year, just taking my
time to learn each story.
I have realized being a people pleaser will just wear me
out. I've done it most of my life, but I've learned that just stepping back,
and being a good friend and being sensitive to God's voice when He urges me to
do something more, is exactly what I'm supposed to do. Not worry if I'm doing
enough all the time...
I have learned that I am to "take the good and leave
the bad" in every relationship I have. I can't change people. Whether it's
Grant, whether isn't my mom, my father in law, my sister, my friend, or a
complete stranger, I can't change anyone to fit into a mold I think they need
to fit into. Only God can.
God changed me and each day is changing me... no person is
changing me. He gives us a will to sin, a will to serve... I get to choose. You
get to choose. Every moment we get to choose between sinning against the Lord,
the One in which made us, or we can choose to serve Him, and honor Him.
I believe when you have a tender heart you'll say sorry. And
mean it. If I slapped you across the head and said sorry and two minutes later
did it again, I not only have zero self control, but I care little about your
feelings. I feel it's the same way with willful sin. You can't keep saying
you're sorry to God after you look at pornography and then turn your computer
or phone on and go to those sites again a day or two later and say you just are
fighting something. Well, use the brain God gave you, and FIGHT the devil.
Throw your phone in the trash. Sell your computer. It's not worth the damage it
will cause. That goes with drinking too. I understand some people try so hard
to stop drinking, stop smoking, doing drugs, cussing, lying, gossiping,
listening to ungodly music and watching ungodly television. But, my answer is
the same for all of these willful, continual sins, GIVE IT TO GOD. Each day,
and each day, it'll get easier and become more sick to you to sin against the
One who died to give you life. I believe in repentance and I believe in turning
from sin. NO, I'm not perfect. But, if I have sin in my life, it hurts my
heart, I repent and I change my attitude to line up with the Lord's on the subject.
Big, small and in between, God wants you to just line up your thoughts with
His. It truly isn't that hard. You must take action though. Yes, ask for
prayer, yes, go to church, yes read your Bible, but also, get rid of those
friends who bring you down, get rid of your TV if you can't control watching
junk on it. Get rid of your phone if all you do is look at ungodly filth on it.
Get rid of your clothes that do nothing but make men lust after you. USE COMMON
SENSE.
I have realized that Grant isn't going to be the perfect
man. Who am I to think he should be? Who am I to think he should always be the
one to say sorry first or take out the trash without me asking? Who am I to
think he was made to be my help meet?
I have learned that Grant is Grant and I am Hannah, and
together, we are Grant and Hannah. Exactly what God wanted. Two separate
people, joining together to compliment each others strengths and weaknesses.
I have realized Grant has a more special call on his life
than what I ever thought or dreamt of before. Some of it has unfolded, but I
believe only about a quarter of it has come to surface. The best is yet to come
for Grant and I. We are team. I am to put him above our children, parents,
friends and other interest, and he is to do the same. That's scripture, not me
talking.
I have realized I am made to please God. I am made to be a
servant for Him and to help add to His Kingdom. Not tear it down. Not be a bad
witness. I'm to share the GOOD NEWS with everyone, not just a person or two a
month.
Let God speak to you. Open His Word. It'll come to life if
you just start reading. Start in Genesis and just keep reading a chapter or two
a day. Pray. LOVE. Don't be judgmental. God's the judge, not you. Keep a sweet
attitude and don't be around people who bring you down and make you feel bad.
Mostly, SEEK HIM WHILE HE MAY BE FOUND...
