Comparison.
Oh, comparison.
It is something that robs us of our joy.
Do you ever find yourself glancing to the left and right, seeing how much you aren't measuring up to those around you?
She's prettier, skinnier and smarter.
Or maybe you're the one who's causing others to compare...
You have a nicer home, car and clothes.
Within a few minutes after refreshing the page on your social media, you find yourself feeling inadequate and even the green eyed monster... jealous.
After talking to your friend on the phone and they excitedly tell you that they are expecting their FOURTH child when you've been trying to have ONE with your husband for eight years.
Your best friend gets the promotion at work and now can afford to take his family on a Disney vacation. Something you've only dreamed of doing for your family.
Your friends are getting married, having babies, getting great jobs...
things you maybe have been praying about.
Pride causes comparison. Comparison causes discontentment. Discontentment causes jealousy. Jealousy causes you to do and say mean things. Mean words and actions tear apart friendships and families.
I'm sure you have "one up" on many people. Yet, you feel like you still need to have more. You need to be more. You need to have more friends. You need to be in the center of attention more. You need other's praise more. You need to be better than her so that you'll just feel good about yourself. You need to have a better house than them so you'll feel you've accomplished something in life. You need to be a better cook than her because that is what defines you as a good wife and mother. You need to have your home perfectly clean or others may call you dirty. You need to lose some weight or people will make fat jokes about you. You need to gain some weight or someone will ask if you have worms. You need a new haircut so you'll stand out from the other girls at school. You need to get better grades in college than him so you can get more awards later on that year. You need to buy your grandkids nicer things than they buy their grandkids so that you'll be the cool grandparent.
Comparison leads you to discontentment.
It says in the bible...
..in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11
When Grant and I suffered a loss of a child, whom was still in my belly, I was only a couple months pregnant. But we had wanted another baby for a while at that point.
I had a handful of friends around me who were pregnant, and I remember for a split second feeling jealous that they got to be pregnant and I didn't. I was not content in that moment...
I wanted our little baby back in my belly and NOW.
But, August Shalom had already made it to heaven as I had these bitter moments here on earth and I had to realize that God allowed me to walk through that trial to realize that no matter my circumstances, I receive my happiness and joy souly through Him.
Comparison, ladies AND gents... can cause you to look at others and become discontent with what you have. They have a happier marriage and he is always doing special things for her. He works so hard and helps her with the kids. She is always making him his favorite meals and I can't even make toast. He is more funny... she is prettier than my wife...
Comparison may not sound deadly, but what it can lead to, is extremely dangerous.
Marriages fall apart every day because it all started with someone comparing and not being content.
As I have said before in a recent post, about 99% of mine and Grants issues in the past were because of me not putting him first. I put the kids first and then God and then Grant. At the time I thought I was putting God first, but if that was the case, Grant would have slid safely into second place on my priority list.
It happened for several months after giving birth to each of our two kids. I was busy with the kids and thought Grant was an adult, so he could make it on his own. I stopped caring much about his needs and they became little of importance to me, and then he started to care less about my needs.
For those of you who have been married for any time at all, you know that you don't have to have a kid thrown in the mix of things to cause stress and issues, but I was amazed at how much our lives changed each time we brought home a pink and a blue bundle of joy. My priorities were mixed up big time for the several months after bringing each child home, but last spring I asked God to truly change who I was. Change my priorities and show me where I was wrong.
And boy, did He show me.
Comparison CAN only be a good thing when you are comparing what you have to what GOD wants and desires you to have.
Last spring I found a way to compare my life as wife and compare it to a biblical wife. I saw through God's word where I was wrong in many ways.
I want to leave you with something that helped me.
Comparison can rob you of many things.
Look around your house. Look in your purse. Look what's hanging on the wall or what's in your hands. Does any of it cause you to compare to others in a negative way?
Open your Bible and see what God says about being content and about jealousy. Read what He says about being a husband, wife and parent. Read what He says about life and happiness.
The world always will have something bigger and better to offer. You'll always find something new to compare to. That is NOT God's will for your life.
Simplify your life and saturate yourself in doing things His way, not yours.
You'll only find happiness when you step far away from comparison.
