Many days I look forward to.
My husbands and my anniversary... December 29th, 2007... which will be 9 years this year! Insane.
Our daughter's birthday. October 10th. Raylea Jo. She is the smartest, sweetest, most gorgeous child I know. I am so blessed to be her mama.
Our son's birthday. October 13th. Jack Gannon. He was a true miracle baby. I've never seen a sweeter smile and brighter eyes.
I even look forward to the day our sweet little August Shalom, who was the size of a sweet pea in my belly, went to Heaven. December 15th.
Grant's birthday. January 4th.
Mine. November 17th.
Mother's Day. Father's Day. Easter. Christmas. Thanksgiving.
I'm sure you have a long list of important dates that you look forward to and enjoy celebrating the occasion of. What's your most favorite? I would like to share mine with you today, if you would take just a minute, you'll learn about my favorite day in the history of my life.
Wednesday. March 15th, 2006.
I've shared my testimony a few times here on my blog, many times to individuals and several times in front of a crowd at church. Some people don't and won't go to church is the main reason I feel so compelled to share my story online. I have nothing to brag about. I still have many flaws. I still am learning. I am still asking God every day to change me. I want to be more like him, therefore I need changed. And so do you. Only a prideful person won't admit that. And trust me, I have been in that place before.
When I woke up on that Wednesday morning, I had no idea what that evening would hold. That was the last day I would ever wake up without peace in my heart. That was the last day I would ever go to school and care what other's thought of me. That was the last day I would wake up and be unhappy.
I had been going to a new church with my parents and younger brother for about 5 months. Two months prior I had felt conviction for the first time on a Sunday morning after my Pastor Zane's message. Him, my dad, and the assistant pastor at that time, Joplin, came to me and asked if I would like to pray. I suppose I said yes because seconds later I was knelt at the front of the church in front of the pulpit, crying. I didn't know what to say or pray. I just cried. I will never forget the words my Pastor said to me.
With tears streaming down his own face, he looked me in the eyes and said, "Hannah, you don't have to say anything. God knows what your tears mean."
I have always remembered those words, to this day. God knew my heart. I did not accept Christ as my personal Savior that day, but I did start to have a more tender heart.
I was 17 and was starting to make bad choices. I was running around with the crowd who said and did what they wanted, talked how they wanted, and had no clue about eternity and it's significance.
I was buddies with the nerds, I was buddies with the jocks. I was buddies with the cheerleaders, I was buddies with the staff, lunch ladies included. I took time to know people. To call people. To make them a card and gift for their birthday. I had what most would consider a "good heart," but a good heart isn't enough to have peace. It isn't enough for salvation to take place. I always felt a void in my life, no matter how much I tried to please others around me.
That night I went to youth. I sat a couple rows back. A man was going to be sharing his testimony with us for the first time. He was a good story teller, like my dad. His story was similar to my dad's as well. He had my attention. He gave an alter call and an invitation to pray with anyone. The singers finished their songs. I don't remember seeing anyone go down to pray. I was a bit relieved it was almost over. Then, he spoke up, "singers, play one more song, I feel like there is someone in here who needs to come down and pray."
I will never forget when he said that, I knew who that someone was! I walked down to that little alter, and wasn't sure what to do, but I knew I was in the right place, with the right people who cared.
One of the singers left the stage and came down with me. The man who gave his testimony, his soon to be wife, met me as well. Along with about 50 other youth.
She asked me what I wanted to pray about and I explained I needed to get my heart and life right with God. I needed to confess my sins to Him and ask Him for forgiveness. I needed to ask Him to be the Lord of my life.
Anna led me in a prayer of repentance. I am forever grateful for her because I had no idea what to say or do, without her guidance I would have sat that there confused. So, thank you again and again Anna, for being used by the Lord to lead me in the most important prayer I ever will pray.
I felt such a peace overwhelm me. I felt such love when I looked up and saw all the happy faces of teens around me. After service, Anna explained to me the importance of being baptized, developing a strong prayer life and setting time aside each day to read my Bible. She explained I needed to do all of these things to be a power Christian and to grow. She also told me I needed to tell my friends what happened to me.
I did what she said and went home and prayed and asked God what I should read. As I sat on my bed, I opened up my Bible and started reading in John 15. It spoke directly to me. I soon after that painted my whole room a beautiful purple and took silver markers and wrote the scripture above my bed. I ended up covering the walls with verses and lyrics.
The next day I sat at a table with about 5 other people. I told them what happened the night before and they all looked at me like I was a little bit crazy. My best friend at that time said, "this is just a phase you're going through." I knew deep down, she was concerned.
Well, ten years later, today, I can attest to you this, this is not a phase. A phase is something that eventually comes to an end.
When I accepted Christ I found joy. Peace. A Best Friend.
No matter what I have done, big or small, He forgave me! That actually took me several years to wrap my mind around. How could a sinless, holy God, the Creator of everything, forgive me for all the wrongs I have done. Every lie. Every thought. Every action. How?
Condemnation is something the devil used on me for a long time. I had to come to a place where I realized that to be saved, I had to be lost. To be fixed, I had to be broken at some point. To be redeemed, I had to be a mess.
I thank God for the time in my life that I was lost, broken and a mess, for He was able to lift me up, out of the dark hole I was in and set my feet on a solid foundation.
Ten years later, I can say I have went through a lot. I have had pain. I have had heart ache. I have felt betrayed. I have felt used. I have felt alone. I have felt worthless.
But, sin, Satan or myself caused all that. I can't, won't and don't blame God for anything bad in my life. If you blame God, you are once again being too prideful to see your own faults and the devils tactics. People ask all the time, "why do bad things happen to good people?"
Simple answer is this, if life was perfect and flawless, we wouldn't need God. I know I wouldn't. If everything was a bed of roses. If every time we got our bills in the mail, I had $10,000 in the bank, I wouldn't have a need to depend on God ever to supply our every need. If my children never were sick, I wouldn't need to depend upon God to touch them. If my marriage never had any issues, I wouldn't need God to show me what true love looks like. If I had zero problems in life, ever, why would I need a Savior?
He came to save! Not to condemn! He is also coming back for a people who is spotless and without wrinkle or blemish. No, not a perfect people. But a people who is set apart from the world. Set apart from evil. Evil can look pretty sometimes I have found. Sin can disguise itself better than anything.
Hobbies, social media, technology of all shapes and forms, books, magazines... they can all influence you to sin and you don't even realize it. Hobbies can take up so much time you neglect God and even your own family. Social media can cause discontentment and jealousy. TV, phones, computers, they all have a hundred ways to lead to sin. What you read... again, will influence your thoughts.
I have had to learn that what I see, what I read, what I put my time and effort into, better be glorifying God, or it's a waste and it can be a death sentence to me spiritually. I've lived life for nearly three years now with no cable or social media. And I'm still alive! I have found I make much more time for more important things without those types of things in my face all day. Ask God what you're putting to much emphasis on in your life. And ask Him if it's effecting you positively. If the answer is "no," then get rid of it. Life is too short to waste time and to not be as close to God as you possibly can be.
Again, I am far from perfect. I never claim to have it all together. I don't write a blog because I think I know more that you or your pastor. I write because I want to reach maybe just a few people, Lord willing, who may never step foot in a church.
Whether you're from America, Europe, Asia, or any other place on earth, just know that I take time out of my day every couple weeks to write a post on here, in hopes to encourage the Christian and in hopes to reach the lost.
God has been waiting for you sir or ma'am. Or young person.
I was a lost 17 year old girl, but ten years ago today, I accepted Him into my life and He came into my heart, soul and life! He filled the empty hole in my heart that nobody else ever could. And He wants to do the same for you!
Simply confess your sins to Him. Ask Him to forgive you. Believe on Him! Trust in Him! Talk to God and pour out your heart to Him.
Romans 10:9 says,
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
and 13...
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Don't miss out on the abundant life. And mostly, don't miss out on eternity with your Father!
I could give you the science behind God existence, or the history that bares truth in the Earth and in the Bible, but the best proof of God being real is how I feel Him all over inside of me.
Today is the most special day for me. I pray that if you haven't had the same, you will do so today, and we can share this wonderful date together! What a blessing that would be!
God bless you all and thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say.
