After every storm, there's a rainbow...

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

1 Peter 1:7

Something happened to me today, that has never happened before. I went to open my blog that I have worked on for a month and it was gone. Not there. Deleted.

I prayed and I just suppose the Lord wanted me to re-write and maybe bring some new things to my mind.

Today though, I woke up and saw the calendar.

August 1st.



Last December, as most of you probably remember, we found out we were pregnant and we miscarried that baby all within the same week. It was Christmas not long after that day, and looking back, it all seems like a blur. I was there, but my heart was somewhere far, far away.

Unless you've wanted a baby, and then lost that baby, you don't know the pain, as hard as you try to imagine it. I used to always say it would never happen to me. But it did.

There were some pretty unthoughtful things said during that month.

I learned that not everyone thinks before they talk. I knew that before, but I really got it then.

The hugs, the silence, those who shared tears with me, the flowers, the prayers. That’s what I will really remember though.

True friends are sad in your sadness and happy in your happiness.

I will never forget those who were sad and sensitive to us.

We were encouraged by some friends who lost their baby as well a few months prior, to name our baby, even though we didn’t know their gender.

August Shalom is what we named that precious little baby.

August 18th was their "due date" and Shalom means "peace."

It makes my heart happy when someone calls my baby by name instead of referring to them as “the miscarriage.”
 

Just because they didn’t get to live as long as you or I doesn’t mean they don’t get a name too.

I struggled for a short time, but God gave me the most amazing peace.

Grant and I have a little girl, and we know the depths of a love you have for your child, so that baby dying was hard for us personally because we imagined loving that baby the way we do Raylea.

I don't know how it feels to lose a baby when you don't already have a child, but I know the pain is real for whoever it happens to. No matter the situation.

I am looking forward to the day to hold that sweet baby.

Until then, Jesus will hold them and He will hold my hand.

Since we miscarried so early on, we were able to try again after a couple months.

After just one month of being able to try we fell pregnant again.

I am now almost 7 months pregnant with a growing, healthy little boy.

Jack Gannon.

We can’t wait to meet you and hold you and kiss you all over.

I am so excited to see all that God does with our children.

I know that if we place them in His hands and we lead them and teach them and show them the right way, they will not depart from it. I believe that strongly.

I want to be a real mom. A real wife. A real friend.

A real Christ follower.

I don’t question the fact that we have a child in Heaven.

I don’t question that Jack is to be here.

I don’t question tomorrow.

I am getting better every day at simply trusting God’s plan and timing.

Sometimes I want something.

And I want it now.

You know what I mean?

Maybe it’s a child for you.

Maybe it’s money to pay the bills.

Maybe it’s patience.

God is the answer to all things.

He’s the answer for your hurt.

He’s the answer for your marriage.

He’s the answer for the void in your life.

He’s the answer for your children.

He’s just the answer.

We maybe went through a trial.

A time that tested our faith.

But we came out stronger individually and as a couple and as a family.

You will come out stronger too!