Old Man Death

Isn't it weird to think that in one hundred years, most every living creature on this earth will be dead.



Old Man Death is going to come knocking on your door one day.


My Grandpa Lee died from cancer.


My Grandma Nadine died from cancer.


A boy I know of committed suicide on train tracks. His sister went back ten years later and did the same.


I just read a news article of a little 10 month old baby who died from hyperthermia because they were left out in the hot car last summer while the foster parent was inside smoking marijuana. He only got 32 months in prison and even said he didn't deserve that. (Insane, I know.)


 My mother-in-law had five different babies go to Heaven before she got to meet them on Earth.


I have a baby, August Shalom, go to Heaven when his/her heart stopped beating when I was six weeks pregnant.


My precious friend, Becca, has two babies in Heaven. Jayden, whom she will find out if it was a boy or girl when she meets them there, and the other was Bryson David. He had been in her tummy for nearly 7 months.


Grant's cousin, a healthy man in his thirties died from melanoma.






Death comes in many different ways. Some people ask for it. Some people supposedly wanted it. Some people were innocent. Some new it was coming for several months or years. Some never saw it coming. Some never even took a breath outside the womb...



I don't write this to sadden you.


I write this to beg you to be prepared for what comes after death.


I know today's problems seem so big and they are so real.


I know, I have my own set of them.



Raylea has a new saying when she is trying to explain herself, she starts her sentence with "But, but..."


I will use that today...


Your problems are big. And so are mine...



BUT, BUT...



isn't it scary to know that if you die without Christ as your Lord and Savior that you will go to an eternal hell?



Isn't it assuring to know that if you die with Christ as your Lord and Savior that you will go to an eternal Heaven to live with Him forever and EVER?




Death is coming to you whether you want to think about it or not.



I know it may seem important to be liked, accepted and popular whether in real life or on your social media account.


I know it may seem you live week to week on a small income.


I know it may seem hard to lose weight when it holds you back in every area of your life.


I know it may seem hard to forgive someone who wronged you terribly.


I know it may seem hard to cry yourself to sleep each night.


I know it may seem hard because your health is failing.


I know it may seem hard that you have no true friends.



I don't ACTUALLY know what all of those things feel like, and I know they are all hard things, but what will be really hard, is if you die without God in your heart and life.



I don't care if I come across brass. I think I am probably not brass enough, honestly.


I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to say toughen up, because boy, I don't want anyone saying that to me when I'm having a hard time. But I DO want to remind those who are lost in their sins and without God that there is a much bigger problem coming your way when you die.


A life eternally separate from God.


That will be very hard, and very horrible.



I beg of you to not let that be you.


repent.


turn from your sins.


ask God for help.


He will give it to you.




Are you a modern day Saul?

I've never taken much time to read past the first couple chapters of 1 Samuel, mostly because I thought the main purpose of the book was to explain Hannah's cry for a child and how the Lord answered.

I have soon learned why this is one of my dad's favorite books of the Bible.

It's full of life long lessons.

Saul was placed as Israel's first king.

But something happened.

Saul was king for many years and then there was a war against the Philistines. Samuel agreed to come and offer sacrifices to seek God's favor on Israel's army, but he didn't arrive soon enough. Saul took it into his own hands to offer the sacrifices himself. When Samuel arrived he asked Saul, "What have you done?" and went on to say later, "You have done foolishly: you have not kept the Commandment of the Lord your God, which He commanded you: for now would the Lord have established your kingdom upon Israel for ever. But now your kingdom shall not continue: the Lord has sought Him a man after His Own Heart, and the Lord has commanded him to be Captain over His People, because you have not kept that which the Lord commanded you."

You may wonder why offering the sacrifices was such a severe violation that it would even cost Saul his kingdom. God had carefully separated the kingship from the priesthood. Therefore, Saul went against God's command. He was rebellious. God wanted the Israelites to always seek Him through the priests who descended from Aaron, who God had chosen as Israel's first high priest.

Saul was likely influenced by kings surrounding his nation, as they did not do as God said. Saul decided to take his role as king and the priests role on himself which was contrary to God's design for the nation. It all went downhill from there.

To have a life that remains true to God we must have a changed heart, but it's apparently not sufficient when we go against God's Word and Commands.

What I learned from Saul is that we can not put our trust in people or ourselves. And we most definitely cannot go against God. Even though his army was fearful of the war they were in, they should have ran to God instead of trying to fix the problem themselves. How often do we try to fix problems on our own and never ask God what He wants us to do? When is the last time you took a matter into your own hands and everything turned out alright? Or like Saul, have you ever trusted yourself over even what God told you to do or said?

Disobedience is a sin of omission. Read James 4:17.

Go ahead, I will wait while you go find your Bible.

Are you living a life full of disobedience?

Has God told you to do something one way, and you have found an easier way out, so you're choosing that path?

If you love someone, you want to please them. You want to honor them. You want to obey them.

Do you live to please, honor and obey God?

This world is FULL of self-loathing thanks to television, social-media, and just good ol' fashion SIN.

Also, just like he was likely influenced by the kings surrounds Israel, we too are influenced by those we are surrounded by. Be very careful who you take advice from and who you look to as a role model.

 

Saul was confident in himself, not in God.

Are you a Saul?


It's a serious question, and I beg that you pray and ask the Lord to reveal to you any areas in your life that you need to give over to Him.

 



Strong Willed

 

 

This March will mark the ninth year of my salvation.

 

 

I feel like anyone who reads my blog regularly likely knows the exact day I was saved.

 

 

March 15th, 2006.

 

 

It was a huge moment. I can't get away from it, and I can't really find anything else better to write about. The day I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

 

 

A few months before I was born again, I went through some changes. Not good changes.

 

 

I remember talking back to my parents, mostly my mom, and showing an attitude I was embarrassed to have, but I was very strong willed in a negative sense. I believe strongly you can be strong willed for God and that is wonderful thing, but at that point in my life, I could care less what God thought of me or the way I treated others. I wasn't a bully by any means, but I began to develop a determination that I was going to do what I wanted to do, whether my parents liked it or not. I started to hang out with other 17 and 18 year olds who had zero respect for themselves or any authority. I think often about how God protected me in many situations.

 

 

His mercy and His grace met me where I was on that Wednesday night. I remember thinking, there is no way I can tell all my friends what happened! But, that next day when I went to school and told them, I had a confidence rise up in me. I told them I got saved! I felt my strong will for myself turn into a strong will for God. I didn't care if they made fun or didn't understand. One of my best friends at that time said something along the lines of, "Okay, Hannah, we will see if this will last." I could tell my friends were a bit concerned with this new Hannah.

 

 

I wish I could see that person today and tell them that it sure has lasted.

 

 

I didn't have to fight or argue with anyone when I got saved. I was content being myself. I was content in not having the last say. I was content with not being the most liked, most popular or center of attention in whatever realm. I was content not being everyone's best friend. I was content not having a boyfriend. I was content with saturating myself with God so much, that to the people who I spent my time with before I was saved, basically ran from me. Not because I treated them different, but because they wanted nothing to do with God, and I wanted everything to do with Him.

 

 

A few months after I got saved, it was sometime in the summer, I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep and my phone rang. I answered and it was two kids from my high school. A boy and a girl. They started making fun of me and saying I was a missionary now and a "Jesus Freak." I said, "well, I am not a missionary yet, but I am a Jesus Freak." They didn't really know what to say. The conversation ended soon after.

 

 

Other than that one incident, I have never been made fun of for being a Christian. But, I probably have tons behind my back, which I am 100% okay with and actually appreciate.

 

 

I want everyone, saved or not, to know that I serve Jesus Christ with all my heart and I am not the same Hannah that I was prior to March 15th, 2006.

 

 

About six years ago, I went through a time of guilt. I felt guilty for talking back to my parents. For lying to anyone. For any thing I had done wrong up until I got saved, I felt so much guilt come over me. I fought and carried the guilt on my back for months.

 

 

Then, one night I wrote a letter to someone. I told them how they can't control my mind anymore. I told them that I despised them and I will never give them time of day. I told them I will do nothing but rebuke them. I told them that they could no longer rule my emotions and hold the past over my head. I felt total freedom after writing that letter. If you're wandering who the letter was to, it was to our biggest enemy, Satan.

 

 

I have not at all been perfect since I gave my heart to God, but I have sought Him in ways I didn't know that I ever would.

 

 

I went on a fast 8 years ago and God showed me that I was to marry Grant.

 

 

I always went to our 10 o'clock prayer at church and God showed me that the person I want to be saved more than anyone, would indeed be saved.  

 

 

Grant and I lost a baby due to a miscarriage, 13 months ago. I prayed and asked God for peace because my bones literally ached with hurt and sadness. That night He gave me a dream of Him holding my baby, August Shalom. I woke with much peace. Although their heart only beat on Earth for a short time, it is beating strong in Heaven, perfectly and forever.

 

 

Those are the first ones that come to my mind, but God has spoken to me in many special ways. You know why? Because I talked to Him. I wanted to hear Him. I accepted what He had to say and I have strived to follow through with anything He has called me to do, full-heartedly.

 

 

Nine years ago if someone would have wronged me in any way, I would have not only held a grudge, but I would have found a way to get even with them. That was the old Hannah.

 

 

Today, I am not perfect. I am still in the same physical body, but spiritually, I am washed by the Blood of Jesus and a brand new creation through Him. I have asked God to show me how I can change. I have asked God to show me how to live more holy. He has spoken to me about different things and told me to get certain things out of my life. Certain friends (who do influence you whether you want to admit that or not), Instagram (I found it just wasn't for me after two years of praying about it), the time I spent praying and reading God's Word (He has shown me it needs to be more prevalent in my life more now than ever, over any self-help book or role-model, GOD and HIS WORD are the first ones I need to go to.)

 

 

He has shown me much more, but some things aren't for Internet eyes or anyone's business. I am just so thankful He is speaking and I am listening. I am so thankful He isn't close to finished with me yet.

 

 

He isn't finished with you, either.

 

Keep fighting the good fight and be STRONG WILLED for Him.

 

 

 

 



Self Centered World

We live in a self centered society today. If you turn the television on you'll likely see a commercial that's solicited by sex or at least some form of self image (and not in a goldy manner, I might add.) Television shows and movies are about lying, cheating, getting more money, and filled with airbrushed actors in which set the standard for which we are to look. Moms are putting toddlers in pageants with their faces caked with makeup. Children are being taught younger and younger that their self worth is measured by how pretty/handsome they are, the special talents they have, how many people accept them, and how much "stuff" they own. Sure, it helps when a child is loved and nurtured at home and taught that they don't have to fall into the lie, but you nearly have to literally get things out of your life to prevent this from happening.

Now that I'm a mom to a girl and a boy, Grant and I feel double the responsibility to teach not only Raylea to love and honor her body and to be modest in this day and time; but also to teach Jack that he needs to treat women with respect and also keep both of their hearts protected from the sins the devil would love them to be involved in. I pray always not only my children will have a young salvation and have a special anointing on their lives, but that they will love the Lord their God with all of their heart, with all of their soul, and all their mind. (Matthew 22:37)

I am not one of those people who claim to know all about parenting. I have a ways to go before I am in any position to give advice past potty training and leaning the alphabet. But, one thing I have already got figured out is this- if my kids don't see God in Grant and myself on a daily basis- it won't make a lick of difference how many Bible verses Raylea memorizes, how often we pray together, or even if she has a perfect attendance at church. Those are all important things and even commanded that we do so, but what difference will it make to Raylea if she saw me wear a maxi skirt to church on Sunday and a mini skirt on a date with her daddy. It would make a huge difference- a negative one. Not only is modesty very important to me, but I believe it says a lot about the kind of relationship you have with God. I understand it's hard to find modest clothing these days, being that belly shirts are the thing, but so are chunky sweaters. I'm kind of kidding-- but not really. My point is this, you will use the brain the Lord gave you to ask yourself when you put something on, whether it's a tank top, jeans, or dress- if you feel you are drawing attention to yourself (you know the kind of attention I'm talking about..) then put something else on. Just incase you didn't know, that goes for you boys, too. You want to attract a good, godly girl, right? Well, then stop putting out bait to catch the wrong kind of girl by wearing your muscle shirts. You're welcome. Moving on now.

Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram... there are many more social media sites that YES, can be used as a great mission field by Christians. So, don't get offensive on me and think that I am anti-social media. But, I have learned this past year that my life, personally is much better without those.

Grant and I deleted our accounts we had on a social media site together, and on the same day we called our cable company and had it disconnected. Not saying we will never get cable back, but with all the time and money we've saved by not having it, (not to mention all the junk we haven't had to view-- commercials are awful these days.) I don't see us getting cable again in the near future, and maybe not ever.

There is quite a lot of negative when it comes to these sites, in my opinion.
It's an instant process of being seen by however many people follow, friend or fan you, being "liked" or "retweeted" and instantly gratified. Not all Christians and not all people in general use these sites for those purposes, but being that they are saturated with #selfie and #me I am pretty sure the main purposes for the sites have become sin stricken, just like anything does that doesn't have God in the center of it.

I fully believe we are drowning in a digital, social-media sea of computer generated, retro-filtered "me" or "about me" portraits or status updates and it's a proof of the takeover of narcissistic traits: displays of pure egocentrism, inordinate self-fascination, exaggerated and excessive preoccupation with vanity. By all appearance of these sites, what's on television and what sells books and magazines, this is an era of "it's all about me."  Your car, your kids, your house, your clothes, your newest possessions, your mood, all is seen and nothing is private anymore.

Freshman girl in college whose parents just bought you the 30,000 dollar car, before posting your new "baby" online, think about the girl whose parents are struggling financially and how she had to ride the school bus all through high school because they couldn't afford to buy her a used car. Mom to that toddler, before posting the status update of how frustrated you are at your kid, think of the women who physically can't have a child of their own, and continually long to. Social media is a window into our lives and often times we can hurt others without knowing it or meaning to. I had several women in my life who followed me on my account, and even though my recent pregnancy was a 100% miracle and blessing all in one from God, when I would post a photo that was pregnancy related, I didn't hardly even think about how it made my good friends feel, who couldn't conceive or who are trying to. I'm not saying you need to hide in a hole and hide your blessings, but just pray about the type of things your post and say on your sites to ensure you wouldn't hurt feelings or make anyone feel bad. God wants us to be sensitive to others, so that is a good thing, not bad.

We're losing the value of life and meaningful relationships. Instead of a friend giving you a compliment (or telling you to never wear it again, haha) in person, you either receive a like or not on social media. I've heard even (adults..) talk about not following many people because it helps the ratio of how many followers they have vs. the amount of people they follow in return. So, there's not only a number attached with how many likes or thumbs up you receive, but also how many "friends" you have.

I can't tell you how many times Grant and I have tried to have conversations with each other (when we had social media) or with others and it was hard to get the person to pay 100% attention to you because they had their nose stuck in their phone. Not many people can even carry a conversation anymore because texting is the first option they chose in communicating, which to me, is a one sided conversation, until the other person finds time to respond, if ever.

Some people place an unhealthy amount of self worth in their social media accounts, some could care less about it. How you regulate activity and how it effects you, is between you and God, not me and you.

 I am simply stating my concern of the world our children are being brought up in and reminding parents that it's your job to teach your children where their true self-worth comes from--- God!

We plan on raising (and are attempting to do so now!) Raylea, Jack and any other future children to be confident daughters and sons of the King!

As always I appreciate you taking time to read what I have to say and mostly, I hope what I say challenges you to love the Lord more and remember to always allow His love to be ENOUGH. Too often we feel we need extras in our life.

It really is that simple. Phones, internet, television, they are all distractions to some extent. My motto has always been, "if this isn't helping me be a better Christian or helping me live a holy life, then why do I have it?" Whether that is a friendship, a book, a movie, a possession, a social-media site... just ask yourself about ALL of the things in your life that take up any amount of time and if they/it is helping you be better in Christ. If the answer is no, simply get rid of it. You have no time to waste.

God BLESS and make sure YOU bless God!




2015

 

 

I officially lived my first day in 2015.

 

Honestly, doesn't seem real.

 

Like the little kid said on the YouTube video... "Is this real life?!"

 

Ya, it is. It really is.

 

Today I started teaching Raylea out of a homeschool curriculum. It was great. I had to wait until Jack was asleep for a nap to start with her, but at about 4pm, we began. She kept calling me "Mrs. Mommy," and reminding me that I was her teacher. We haven't decided yet if homeschooling is for us, but today was great.

 

Now that Jack is nearly 3 months old, I am finally back into the swing of things, well, my new swing of things. I wandered the other day what I did before Raylea. Then, I wandered what I did before Raylea and Jack. Ya, people tried to kindly warn me that two kids is a bit different than one, but I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "It'll be fine." Yes, it's been fine, but it's been different, too.

 

I now have two kids to love, feed, bathe, dress, teach, pray for, and show all my attention to. The transition has actually went pretty smooth compared to the stories I heard from others. Raylea loves her brother so much. But... she sure does miss being me and Daddy's one and only I think. So, we make sure to take turns each day to spend time with her, undivided. And she loves it.

 

The other day someone needed prayer, so we prayed. As soon as she was done she said, "are they better now?"

 

That got me thinking!

 

Wow. I been missing something in my prayer life.

 

Faith.

 

But not just regular faith...

 

Child-like faith.

 

Raylea prayed and then expected it to be answered right away.

 

I told her, "I'm sure they're feeling better."

 



I was sure they were because I knew God would honor her faith!

 

Sure enough, the next day when I talked to that person, they were feeling better.

 

Jack is sick right now with a bad cough and nearly every time he coughs, she puts her hands together, closes her eyes and says, "God, please help baby Jack's cough to go away, in Jesus name I pray, Amen."

 

It has really made me check myself. Check my faith.

 

I know God hears my prayers, but I truly feel we need to expect God to answer when we ask Him to, according to His will.

 

So, Raylea Jo, thank you for reminding me what prayer should be linked to. What it's meant to be saturated in. What it's meant to mean.

 

Faith.

 

Whatever you're praying about...

 

your body to be healed of a sickness that doctors can't seem to fix.

 

your son to surrender all to God.

 

your daughter to get out of the relationship she's in.

 

your dad to come back home.

 

your anger.

 

your jealousy.

 

your pride.

 

Whatever it is, God can and will answer you, according to His perfect will.

 

So, although I didn't follow through with my "memorize a verse each week for 2014" resolution which ended after about a month, (I'm always awful at resolutions..) I think this year I will keep this one's.

 

I resolve to have more faith when I pray. More faith than ever before.

 

Because I have a lot of things that need to happen and to be done in my life.

 

God, help us all to have a child-like faith this year, and always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I haven't said it lately, thank you to those who regularly read my posts.

 

It means a lot that what I have to say interest a couple hundred people. Even if it was just one, I promise I would still write, because God told me to.

 

But thank you for taking time to read what I have to say and for the ones who encourage me to write.

 

I promise it means more to me than you'll ever know.