Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
It has been nearly ten years ago that I accepted Jesus into my heart. I knew and heard about God, and I truly thought I was a Christian growing up. I thought that because I never killed anyone, I admitted that I believed in God and I wasn't worshiping the devil, that made me alright.
As a young child, I was a little hard headed. Then, when I was a teenager, not that I was a snot, but I knew how to be a brat if I needed to be! I made some poor choices (as each and every single person reading this has to some extent...) in my teen years. All along, I still believed I was a Christian. I had friends that were doing "a lot worse things" than myself, so I really figured I was a good Christian compared to many around me.
One of my biggest regrets is lying. Whether it was to my parents, to my friends or to myself. The thing about lying, is you have to keep making up more lies to cover up the original lie. I told a handful of lies, but I would consider two or three of them whoppers.
One was to cover myself. One was to make myself look "cool" when in all reality I wasn't at all. One was to make myself feel better about myself as a person.
One thing I can say I learned from lying, is that the best thing in the world to do, (whether you're a Christian or not,) is to just tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth from the start. That would have saved me a lot of heartache.
I was very consumed with wanting to be accepted and popular in school. I wanted to have a popular boyfriend, which I did for a little while, but as most high school sweethearts turn out... they turn sour and south real fast. I'm pretty sure there needs to be a rule that you can't "date" someone until your brain has fully developed. Scientifically they say a brain isn't fully developed in both male and female until 25 years old! That means my brain just stopped developing two years ago!
My junior year was a major life changing year for me. I started out that year with all intentions to do what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it.
I had no idea that that fall my parents would begin going to a church in Wellington, Kansas, called First Free Will Baptist Church.
I sat in the services and felt nothing. For about two months. Then, on a Sunday morning I felt a deep pounding in my chest. Pastor Zane Brooks, my dad and the associate Pastor at the time, Joplin Emberson, asked if I wanted to go pray. I said sure. I knelt at the front the church with them and didn't know what to say. I just cried. I will never forget Zane looking at me, crying and saying, "Hannah, God knows what your tears mean, you don't have to say anything." I remember that made me feel so good, to know that God knew me that well, even though I didn't know Him.
I know there are many people who will read this and say, "well you were saved then! You felt Him, so that's when you were saved."
No. That isn't.
Fast forward a couple months to Wednesday, March 15th, 2006.
Jason Bruns was sharing his testimony for the first time to the youth.
I felt a strong desire to go forward to pray, but I didn't.
He said to the singers, "sing another song, I feel like there is one person in here who needs to come forward."
I didn't have to think twice. I knew that person was me and I knew I needed God.
I got to the alter as soon as I could. His fiancé and soon to be wife, Anna, explained to me what it was to be a Christian. I knew I had lived my whole life as a lie. All the way down to believing I was a Christian, when I wasn't.
I again had no clue what to say or to pray. She led me in a prayer of repentance and I accepted Jesus into my heart and life! I aloud Him to take control of my life, instead of myself. I immediately felt as though I could fly! I felt such a strong weight lift off of me.
The next day I told some friends sitting around me what happened and they all looked a little concerned.
I could write a book, and one day I plan on it, so I can tell more details of my life and all God has done through me.
He has been my best friend. He has given me a husband who loves God, and two children who are the cutest things you've ever seen. He's given me a warm home, food in my pantry, and a family who loves me, just for who I am.
I know that not everyone wants to accept Jesus.
In the Bible it talks very clearly about how many find their way to destruction, and few find Heaven. It is God's will and desire for all to come to know Him as Lord and Savior, but He is NOT going to make someone serve and accept Him. That's why I like the Free Will doctrine. We believe God gives each and every person a free will to make decisions in life. You and me are a sum total of the choices we have made. What choice will you make? Will you choose to serve Jesus today? Will you choose Him no matter the cost?
God wants you. He has always wanted you.
Stop living life for yourself. You won't have a U-Haul behind your hearse full of all your things.
The bible is clear on living holy and a separate from the world.
So many want to argue today for things they know deep down are wrong. Whether it's being gay, having an occasional drink, gossiping, cussing or lying or sleeping around.
When you stand before God one day you won't have an argument for what is right and wrong. God made it very clear and simple in the Bible that if we love Him, we will keep his commandants.
With my whole heart have I sought You: O let me not wander from Your Commandments.
Psalms 119:10
Once I was saved, I wasn't perfect. I have to depend upon God every day. I have to ask for Him to forgive me every day.
The difference between who I was before I was a Christian and after I was though, is this...
It didn't hurt me to hurt God. I didn't care to change and I didn't care to let Him speak to me and show me how to be closer to Him.
After I was born again, I hurt when I hurt God. I don't WANT to go to bad places, be around evil things, go see movies that cuss and have nudity in them or be with people who don't care about God. I love people, but once you witness to them and they have clearly let you know that they don't want to serve God, you have no need to fellowship with them. They will only bring you down.
I pray that anyone who reads this will let the Holy Spirit speak to their heart.
No job, no amount of money, no relationship, no mansion, no new car, no new clothes, no vacation...
NONE of that will fill the void in your heart.
When you die to yourself and realize you need a Savior, that is when that void is filled.
Depend on Jesus. He is the only One who will ever bring you true happiness and peace.
Your best friends will let you down, your family will let you down, your spouse and kids will let you down....
But, there is One, Jesus Christ, who will never ever let you down.
In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. Psalms 56:11
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