Overcoming Insecurity- my story

 

 

 

Have you ever had that nagging voice in your head telling you that you aren't doing a good enough job?

 

 

 

 

Or how about that rude voice that tells you that you are basically no other word but ugly.

 

 

 

The cutting voice that tells you that you're a horrible mother and these kids will grow up to be uncontrollable teenagers and unlikeable adults.

 

 

 

 

The whisper voice that tells you that no matter how hard you try, you won't win their love over.

Nobody really likes you.

 

 

 

The loud voice that tells you that you really have no place here on earth.

 

 

 

The voice that just keeps talking, tearing you down, day by day, and no matter how much you read, "pray", go to church and get help from your closest friends... it just won't go away.

 

 

 

 

These voices all have a root spirit. They all have the same goal.

 

 

To cause insecurity.

 

 

 

 

Insecurity.

 

 

It's a noun.

 

 

And it means uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; and lack of confidence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self-doubt is something everyone at some point has felt.

 

 

Remember Moses?

 

 

God had a job for him to do. And what did Moses say? He said he couldn't talk good enough. I don't know if he had an actual speech impediment or maybe he knew himself well enough to know that he would speak slow in front of others because of nerves, but either way, he had self-doubt. He felt insecure.

 

 

 

How often does God tell us to do something and we doubt the very thing God said all because we lack confidence in ourselves?

 

 

 

I recently broke free of the chains of insecurity. I allowed it to cause me anxiety about myself, just as the definition says. I allowed it to become a part of who I was, and I honestly didn't realize that it had become a part of Hannah. Getting married didn't solve my insecurity issues. Having children didn't solve them. Having godly friends and a few who I can call my best friends in the world didn't solve them. Being able to pay my bills didn't solve them. Having a car that runs didn't. Getting my hair done every few months didn't.

 

 

Did you know that getting saved didn't even solve my insecurity problems?

 

 

I look back and although I became a brand new person, I still aloud the devil and myself to tell myself I wasn't good enough.

 

 

I dealt with feeling like I wasn't a good enough wife and mom. A good enough Christian, even. I dealt with feeling like I was failing at the two most important roles God gave me. Wife. Mom. And I was failing, in my mind at least.

 

 

Not long ago, I was teary eyed on my couch late in the evening and my little four year old came walking through the living room and saw me. I didn't know she was up. I thought she was in bed. I was having a little pity party. I tried to dry my tears but she knew something was wrong, and she asked. I really didn't know what to say, so I was just honest. I told her that the devil was making me feel like I wasn't a good mom and wife. She said, "Mom, what are you going to do about it? I will tell you the truth of what you need to do, you need to go to the alter and pray about it!" I couldn't help it and I bust out laughing because I first off thought it was so cute and second off thought it was so amazing that a four year old gave me the best advice than anyone could have given me. So, we walked over to our little alter across the room and we both prayed. She prayed heaven down. I realized in that moment that I have done a lot right. That I was not failing as a mom.

 

 

 

 

 

I have dealt in the past with not feeling pretty enough. My goodness, the world we live in. It makes it tough for a girl to not feel like she is less than perfect when every where you look there are flawless selfies on social media, super models at the grocery store on the magazines in the check out line, and beautiful people on television, especially commercials.

 

 

 

It didn't ever matter that Grant told me that he thought I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he wouldn't change anything about me... I still looked in the mirror and saw only flaws. For years I did this. It stole away my true smile. My joy. It was truly the devil having a hay day because I wasn't confident in my own skin anymore, which is something Grant had always loved about me. But, I looked in the mirror and saw just what the devil wanted me to see. Someone not all that attractive at all.

 

 

 

God showed me that I am truly fearfully and wonderfully made. Have you ever wandered what that even means? To be fearfully made? Well, without looking it up in a Bible or on Google, I will give what first comes to my mind. God knew I would feel insecure one day about my flaws. Well, to me they were flaws, but to Him they were beautiful characteristics of my appearance. But, when He designed me and aloud me to grow into the woman I am today, He wanted to make sure that I was unique and in His image. Fearfully and wonderfully He made someone in His very image. Hannah Jo Gaston, who became Ledbetter.

 

 

 

 

I dealt in the past with feelings of insecurity in friendships. This was the worst part of insecurity, because it was so draining. I felt I needed to do for people constantly to make them know I loved them, and for them to love me. I aloud myself to believe that if I was a people pleaser, nobody would not like me. Well, God has clearly shown me that true friends are those who will love me even if I have nothing to offer. Even if I didn't send a birthday card or if I couldn't text them back for a day or two. That a real friend will like even the flaws in my personality and appreciate that I am striving to be more like Jesus. They will want to help me, not hinder me.

 

 

He showed me mostly that real friends will genuinely be happy for me when I am happy and sad when I am sad.

 

 

 

 

 

Have you felt insecurity? It can lead to worse things. Anxiety. Depression. Suicide. Divorce. Abuse. I imagine it can lead to just about anything horrible.

 

 

 

Let me tell you, men and women of God in the Bible had to learn to overcome insecurity and just as I got a grip on it, I believe 110% that you can and will too.

 

 

It isn't a book you can read, although I'm a huge reader. It isn't a 10 step program. It isn't a new friendship or visiting a counselor weekly. I believe the answer is in Jesus Christ, solely. I don't know your exact situation in life, I don't know the extent of how insecure you feel. My insecurity level wasn't so bad that I couldn't function or live life, but it simply robbed me of my joy. That is the level it was at. And after time, I had to decide for myself that enough was enough.

 

 

 

Isaiah 54:17 says...

 

No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper...

 

 

I love that because it doesn't say that there won't be any weapons formed against us...

 

insecurity was just a weapon formed against me.

 

 

But it did NOT prosper.

 

 

WHY?

 

 

The end of that verse explains that "This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord.."

 

 

AMEN!!!!

 

Amen. Wow.. I just LOVE that so much. Because I am God's girl, I am His creation, made in His image, because I serve Him with all my heart and soul, that is just a blessing that comes freely to me! That those weapons can't and WON'T prosper.

 

 

 

Whatever you're dealing with, perhaps it is insecurity, and perhaps it isn't, let's say it's the opposite, it's pride. You think you are prettier than everyone, you dress better, you have a nicer home and nicer things in it and you dress your kid way better than they ever could.

 

 

Or gossip? Or jealousy? Or lust? Or unforgiveness?

 

 

What is the weapon formed against you right now?

 

 

Are you even in tune with God enough to recognize it?

 

 

Snap out of it and realize that Satan wants to destroy every ounce of you. He is way worse than any horror movie you watched as a teenager and much more evil than anything you've seen on the news. He wants to literally steal, kill and destroy you from the inside out.

 

 

 

Jesus Christ won your battles already on the Cross.

 

Satan is pretty upset about that, to say the very least.

 

 

It's time for you to stand up, square your shoulders, get a good stance and tense up your muscles a little bit and go to war. It all starts on your knees. You talk to God and He will talk to you. You can trust Jesus, He's your strength in your weakest hour.

 

 

 

YOU WILL OVERCOME.

 

 

 

Thank you for allowing me to share a testimony. All praise and glory goes to Him.