A True Friend is hard to come by

 

 

 

Last night I woke up at about 1:04am.

 

I wasn't sleeping soundly.

 

I haven't for several weeks since our friends Becca and Jeremy lost their twin boys about 6 months through her pregnancy. They got to hold those boys for just hours before their little hearts stopped, and being there for some of that heartache, and talking with Becca daily afterword's, has weighed on my heart. I truly believe God has aloud me to wake so often each night to pray for her to keep sleeping soundly, so if I don't sleep solid for the rest of my life... that is fine with me. I will keep praying for my Becca.

 

 

 

After laying in bed for about thirty minutes I made myself get out of bed and go sit in our living room.

 

 

I felt like God wanted to talk to me. I wanted to go back asleep at that point. It was around 1:40am. But, I made my way to Grant's recliner, and there I sat. Just waiting.

 

 

 

 

Silence...

 

 

 

Then, I opened up.

 

 

 

I said I was sorry.

 

 

I haven't said sorry in a while. Genuinely, truly sorry.

 

 

 

It took me several years after I was saved to stop feeling condemnation for anything I did before I was saved. I realized that even though I don't feel condemnation anymore, I have let myself think I am less of a person because of anything in my past. Big, medium, small... whatever the 'size' of a sin... the devil can make you feel bad, dirty, evil, vile and unworthy all the same.

 

 

 

I said I was sorry for not viewing myself as clean, pure, and white as HE sees me.

 

 

 

I felt a wall come down and felt like I was hugging God.

 

 

 

Then I said I was sorry for doing something I have done my entire life...

 

 

 

ready for this?

 

 

 

People pleasing...

 

 

 

I love deeply. Therefore I feel deeply...

(some of you won't even comprehend that... and that's ok.)

So, what that leads to, is I constantly feel like I have to "win" others over.

 

Then, that leads to insecurity and being highly sensitive.

Then at times, I have taken to heart everything that is said or isn't said to me.

My mind would constantly search for things I could have done better or different to have had a different outcome in a situation and I end up blaming myself for anything that goes wrong.

 

Big or little.

 

 

Then I worry about it for months on end...

and sometimes apologize when it wasn't even my fault.

 

 

 

 

Talk about draining.

 

 

 

 

Whether that be a sibling, one of my brother or sister in laws, a parent of mine or Grant's, or a friend who I've known for 10 year or 10 months...

 

I try to be the best I can be for all of them, but honestly, at times, I've went too far.

And yes, that is possible.

 

 

 

God then let me see people in my mind's eye who truly care for me... who truly care for my spouse... who truly care for my children and my unborn child, and the one in Heaven... those who care about me spiritually and mentally... those who care when I'm hurting, emotionally or physically... those who care about my talents, even if they are small and not in the lights as some people's are... those who care that I am excited to homeschool and want to know all about it... those who care about my lost loved ones and who ask about them and pray for them...

 

 

 

I saw those people. I talked to God about them.

I felt true appreciation for them.

 

 

 

Then, God talked to me about those who don't truly care... those who are my friend when it's convenient for them... those who are actually happy when I'm hurt or sad or lonely or down, and those who are sad when I have joy or victories in my life...

 

 

 

He explained in my Spirit that it's okay that I love these people, it's even okay that I continue the friendship with them, but it isn't okay that I try to win them over and wear myself out trying to make them happy. He told me pretty bluntly that I have to stop people pleasing and set some healthy boundaries with these people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I then started to ponder on my spouse and my children.

The very ones I need to guide, protect and nurture the most.

 

 

I looked down at my feet and saw a little Tonka Truck me and Grant got for Jack a couple weeks ago. It looks like a little dump truck and Jack sits perfectly in the "dump" of it and likes to have Raylea push him around the house. I then realized it'll be just a matter of time that he won't be able to fit his foot in that same spot that his rear sits. I saw the pillows that Raylea had set up neatly on the couch trying to clean the house for me before she went to bed. I realized one day she will be gone and married maybe, with little rascals of her own (or as she says, "rascalts.")

 

 

 

I prayed and prayed that God would let me be the momma I need to be for these kids. That I would be the kind of parent and spouse that they will WANT to become one day. I don't want to have a bunch of qualities about me that they have to try to not be like as adults. I want them to WANT to be the kind of person that I am. I want them to see me love Grant and respect Grant and know that we will ALWAYS be together through the thick and thin.

 

 

I then thought about Grant and how I am already so protective of him, rightfully so, but how I want to show him love more often and more genuinely. I want to be more appreciative of the fact that he works to put food on our table and pays several bills each month that have never went unpaid, the nearly 9 years of our marriage. I want to be more appreciative that he sits me and the kids down in the morning time and will say, "I'm going to read the Bible, Raylea sit down by your mom, Jack listen up." I want to be more appreciative that he writes me random notes and brings me cards and flowers and donuts and wants to know how my day was. I want to be more appreciative that he leads me spiritually and cares for my well being and our kids' eternity. I love how he lays with Raylea in her twin bed and read her a good night book and then prays with her. I love listening though the door, as he sings to Jack as he rocks him asleep. I love the fact that he wants to be with me and our kids more than he wants to be with anyone else. He loves us and we are the best of friends.

 

 

 

 

A true friend is hard to come by.

 

 

 

 

Take time this week to get a few cards out and write to your true friends. Tell them why you love them.. Why you like their quirky traits.. Why you need them.. Why they are unique and why you care for them.

 

 

 

 

I told God last night I don't know if I will die young, middle aged, or old, or perhaps He will come back....

 

 

but I am not going to waste time anymore and I want to challenge YOU today to do the same.

 

 

 

Pray and ask God who YOUR true friends are. He will show you... it might not be what you want to hear. Perhaps you'll realize you have a lot less true friends than you thought... but overall, you'll feel so refreshed in knowing who truly cares and how you can care for them back.

 

 

 

Whether someone is a true friend to you or not, you still need to love them and pray for them and be there for them with open arms when they need you. But, don't let yourself get drained by feeling insecure or unwanted in friendships. I have done that, and it's zero fun. It is not healthy. God wants you to be happy, so talk to Him today about your true friends and how you can nurture those relationships better, and about those who you need to put some space between, and about the straight up toxic friendships.

 

 

 

 

If someone is always making you feel bad about yourself, attacking your looks, teasing you about having a dirty house or kids' hair looking rough, about how you aren't doing things right as a parent or spouse, if they are making you feel like less of a person and unloved and unwanted... if they only want to talk about themselves and about their happiness when you are sad inside but they don't care to ask... those are friendships you might need to rethink!

 

 

 

 

You ARE important and there are people around you who love you and want to build a strong friendship with you... stop pushing them away and thank God you have at least one person in your life who truly cares for you.

 

 

 

 

 

Have a wonderful week!

 

 

 

 

 

 



Where do you draw the line on sin?

 

Where do you draw the line on sin?

 

 

For many of us, we aren't really sure about the answer to that question...

 

 

 

 

One thing I have learned and I plan to teach to my kids, is that any question in life and any problem you face, the answer or remedy is found in the Bible, God's Holy Word.

 

 

I prefer King James Version, as it is a word for word translation.

 

 

I honestly get confused when I have to read the more "simple" versions.

 

 

Call me crazy!

 

 

 

 

I ask these questions to people who are and who aren't a Christian...

hopefully you'll get my point.

 

 

 

How many cuss words does a movie need to say before we leave the theatre or turn the show off?

 

 How many drinks of wine is ok?

 

How many times is it ok to talk back to your authority?

 

How many times is it ok to look at pornography?

 

How many times is it ok to gossip behind someone else's back?

 

How many years is it ok to hold a grudge against a family member?

 

How many lies is it ok to tell before it makes it a "real" lie?

 

How many hamburgers can you eat before it's gluttony?

 

How many times can you turn your spouse away sexually before it's considered wrong?

 

How many times is it ok to yell at your kid until it's considered emotional abuse?

 

How many times should you pray each day without it being considered neglecting your relationship with God?

 

How many services at church can you miss before someone will call you backslid?

 

How short can your dress be?

 

How much cleavage is ok to show?

 

How tight can your shirt be?

 

How many times is it ok to check your social media daily before you become more dependent on others approval of you rather than God's?

 

How many tattoos is it ok to get?

 

How many piercings can I have?

 

 

How many times .....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to start by answering this with God's Word. Because nobody can argue with that...

 

 

As for over eating, drinking, smoking, your attire, tattoos and piercings...

 

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Romans 12:1

 

 

and...

 

 

 

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;

1 Peter 2:9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If, I say IF you're seeing/looking at stuff that you'd be embarrassed of your grandmother looking at with you on Social Media.. I'm talking to you!

 

 

Also, any dirty movies, porn, magazines, anything that makes ya stare longer than 2 seconds, it is pretty obvious that it's feeding your flesh.

 

Here's a verse for you.

 

 

For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

1 Thessalonians 4:7

 

 

and

 

 

 

Neither give place to the devil.

Ephesians 4:27

 

 

Honestly, I feel like that verse could cover it all. By using common sense, we could really save ourselves a lot of heart ache.

 

 

We want to try to get away with just enough to let our flesh feel good, but to not do too much that makes our "spirit" feel bad.

By not going to church, you're missing out on opportunities to grow spiritually, to be fed spiritually, to help pray for others, to tithe, to encourage someone, to worship God with others...

By checking Social Media, you may be causing yourself to develop a lust or even a jealousy problem that you never had before.

 

 

Hear me out...

 

 

Don't go places that don't glorify God. I don't drive down the Casino drive which sometimes would be faster to get on the turnpike when driving to Wichita, because I don't want a single soul who is there to see me by chance and to have any question on whether or not I would go there. I don't agree with the stuff that goes on in there, therefore I don't want to be seen driving through their parking lot of even through their toll booth. I don't care that I have tinted windows either. Everyone has their own convictions on things, and this happens to be one of mine. I'm not saying I'm better than you if you drive by there, or go there, but I am saying that I am not giving the devil a place in my life for temptation, for someone to start a rumor, or for me to cause someone else to stumble who is a new (or old!) Christian or who isn't even saved. My witness for God is more important that anything inside a Casino!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You who yell at your spouse, kids, gossip about others and can't control your mouth...

 

 

 

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:29-32

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The woman (or man) who isn't pleasing their spouse.

(not just physically... emotionally and spiritually too!)

 

 

 

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Ephesians 5:21

 

 

and...

 

 

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Ephesians 5:28&29

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For all the other "questions" the main verse I like to always go back to is this...

 

 

 

That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Ephesians 5:27

 

 

 

 

 

 

This blog post was for me as much as it was for you. I don't ever, ever claim to be perfect and have it all together, I'm still learning every day. But, I felt very compelled to write on this subject, so I must do as the Lord impresses.

 

 

Have a great rest of your week.

 

side note: my little girl, Raylea had her first day of homeschool today!

If you want to see what she did, just click on the link below!

www.ourhomehomeontherange.blogspot.com