Venting and Honesty

 

 

 

 

I like honesty.

 

 

Well, honestly, I love it.

 

 

 

 

I have always said that the most important part of any relationship is for there to be honesty.

 

 

 

So, let's be honest.

 

 

 

 

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Have you ever found yourself at a crossroad in life and you weren't sure the road to take?

 

 

Or, just like in real life, you come to a sign that read, "DEAD END" and you're forced to turn around and find another route.

 

 

 

For the past couple months, I have found myself having a little bit of my own personal pity party  because my life is on a rather crazy detour. I had no idea construction was needed on the road me and my family were traveling on... but either a bridge was fixing to go out, a sink hole suddenly engulfed half of the highway, or there was too many pot holes for safe travel. Or all three.

 

 

 

Regardless, God sent us down the detour road.

 

 

 

 

I'm bad with change. I like consistency. That's why most of the friends I have, I've had for years and years. I make new friends often, and I don't just "drop" friends when I get bored or my life is too busy for them. I like to wake up around 6:30, drink my coffee, talk to God, shower and get pumped up to wrangle three rug rats for the next 15 hours. I like it when Grant takes me to get ice cream, or my sis in law, Morgan... me and her are the sweet toothers of the bunch. Did I just make up a word? I like it... Anywho, I like to get the same ole same ole. I like cheese pizza. I like club sandwiches. When I first come home, I throw some socks and sweats on... I wander if that is from all those years of watching Mr. Rogers.... any other 80's kids with me?

 

 

 

Okay, you catch my drift?

 

 

 

I like doing the same thing. I like knowing what is about to happen.

 

 

 

It's been extremely difficult to sit in the driver's seat and to be driving down a road that seems as though it should be in the Mojave Desert. For those of you reading this out of the U.S., that is the driest desert in North America.

 

 

I don't mean my life right now is lifeless, I just feel I've been placed in a position where I am a bit more alone and secluded than I ever have had to be.

 

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I am glad I am not in control, I am glad I am clueless right now, even.

 

 

 

 

I haven't been able to say that until today, actually.

 

 

 

I often like to vent through writing and somehow the Lord always uses my own words to turn around and encourage myself. I was thinking today about how our society always wants to have one up on each other.

 

 

If you say you slept awful last night, your friend has a reason they slept worse.

 

If you are sick with the flu, someone has had it way worse.

 

If you got a good deal on some shoes, someone has a story of when they got some for even cheaper!

 

Your kid knows sign language? Well, someone tells you that theirs knows three languages.

 

You saw 12 people saved during your church service? Your buddy says they saw 15.

 

You shot a big buck... oh man, don't get me started! I was raised by a hunter and now I'm married to one! Ha! Okay, I seriously plan to shoot a bigger buck than Grant this year ;) I'm kidding babe... kind of.

 

You have a 3.8 GPA? Your best friend boast they always have at least a 4.0.

 

You have 200 friends on Facebook? Someone says they have 700.

 

Then, as mothers, they compare every little thing! How many teeth are in their child's head, when they learned to walk, how long they labored and if they breastfed or made their own organic baby food. We need to encourage each other instead of make each other feel like failures, women! I have felt pressure at times to make Raylea behave and act perfect around people because of their standards. I had an older and wiser friend tell me to only discipline my kids for what we say is wrong, not what they think is wrong. Parenting is to be joyful and happy and exciting, not a time that you try to out do others in how well your kid behaves or the fancy clothes they wear or how young they were when they said the whole alphabet. Teach them kids how to be like Jesus, MEEK and HOLY and LOVE. Pretty much the opposite of today's society.

 

 

 

I learned whenever we miscarried a baby, nearly four years ago, that even in tragedy, people still somehow want to have one up on you. A loss is a loss is a loss. Just like losing your 40 year old son, it would be just as awful to lose your two year old boy. Miscarriages just tend to be something people are uncomfortable to talk about, I guess because nobody sees the stomach getting larger and you likely don't know the gender yet, and sometimes you haven't had the chance to announce your pregnancy, but coming from a mother who wanted that baby for 13 months, let me tell you, I will always mention and want to talk about my child. August Shalom. See you soon, little one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is something I have learned, and it is this.

 

 

Oddly enough, it was on the front of card my husband gave me last week.

 

 

 

 

It said,

 

 

 

Sometimes what looks like falling apart is actually everything falling into place.

 

 

 

 

 

So, yes, you may have come to a dead end. Maybe you just ended a relationship that you truly felt was going to finally lead to marriage. Or maybe you took a wrong turn and made a mistake and God is placing you back on the solid rock so your tires can easily spin down the road... or, maybe you're like me, you are down this detour road and it doesn't make any sense. You tried and tried to figure out what the problem was up ahead, why you had to go around it, but for whatever reason you are at a place of simply TRUSTING and LEANING on Jesus. Boy, what better place is there to be. You are safe from all harm on this road. What do you have to fear when God Himself has placed you down this road. It may seem dark, it may be raining hard and those wipers are going as fast as they can go, but there is peace in your soul that wouldn't be there if you were on that comfortable path.

 

 

I am learning to trust Him. I am learning to really lean on Jesus.

 

 

 

I encourage you today, to stop worrying, stop crying about who left, stop crying about who hurt you, stop crying about what happened. You raise your head up high and hold them shoulders back and put your seatbelt on because this is going to be the ride of your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great trip.

 

 

 

I know I will.