Take a look behind you

 

I have not written for months. I do not like that at all. I know people need to be reached. And some will be reached by this blog. Even just for one, I'll write. 

I am looking back today, not at a failure, not at a hurt, not at a mistake, not at a painful memory...

No.

I am looking back behind me today at all the Lord has done. 

The devil needs to hear it from me. And I highly suggest you thinking back on all God has done for you too.

When I was 12 my dad got delivered from alcoholism and gambling addiction.

In September that'll be 20 years ago.

As a teenager I made some bozo, hairbrained choices, yet the Lord protected me.

When I was first saved, I had my best friend at the time tell me it would just be a phase. Well, it sure is, it's been the greatest phase of my life and ultimately my eternity.

When me and Grant needed a bill paid, he went to pray about it, came back and there was money in a donut wrapper in his shoe on our porch.

We paid property taxes as newlywed couple and it pretty much liquidated all our funds. Around 6 or 7 hundred dollars. That revival we were at, the Pastor told Danny and Rhonda (his parents who were holding the revival), that he felt the Lord wanted them to take up a special offering to go just to Grant and Hannah. It was a little over what we just paid in taxes.

I had a high risk pregnancy with Jack. Bled nearly the entire time. Went into labor 4 weeks early. Long story short, he is healthy as a horse and almost 7 years old. 

God healed Jack from seizures. He made his body work correctly.

Ray had what the specialist said was very likely a tumor in her hand and after surgery he said he was so glad to say he was wrong, it was just a cyst.

I prayed for God to visit my Uncle Troy in a dream and that very night God gave him a vision of Jesus.

I was able to forgive people who wronged me, perhaps I didn't get a long drawn out, in detail apology, but like the man who owed millions in the bible, that was once me. So, who am I to grab someone else by the neck, demanding they pay back their debt when I've been forgiven so much more?

(Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things.)

The Lord gave me a song about forgiveness during thus far, the hardest time in my life. I woke Grant up that next day and let him hear it because he knew how I had been so hurt and he had tears streaming down his face. It's been a while back now, but that song has ministered to me many times and I know the Lord gave that to me. Even just for me alone. 

5 years ago, God delivered me from depression.

This year, God helped me many times with anxiety.

God woke me up two summers ago and spoke to me about my prayer life.

God has spoken to Grant through dreams, as I have prayed many times over his pillow for years.

Ray has a gift of writing at a young age already. She encourages me constantly.

God has made a way for us not just financially, but SPIRITUALLY. He has given us a supernatural peace. When family, friends, foes, you name it, when they didn't fill up our love tanks (and when we can't fill up each others...) God does it for us over and over and over. Day by day. Moment by moment, that love tank stays full if we choose to stay close to the King.

He has given Grant a gift to preach. To speak to complete strangers about their soul. To help people and not want recognition. He really learned that from my dad, and he would say the same.

I look back and see where God protected us when He said, "stay," "go," and "not quite yet."

I see where God placed people in my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And placed me in others lives the same.

Stop begging for crumbs, whoever you are. Stop begging for approval. My mom told me the other day through text message that trying to get people's approval is a losing battle. That void you're trying to fill by using drugs, having sex outside of marriage, fitting in with the world and keeping a toe or two in the church world, waiting for someone to make something right with you or clear your name or apologize, placing your attention on things of this world... that void will continue to need and try to be filled until you accept Jesus as Savior, allow HIM to be Lord of your life. NOT your reputation. NOT your money. NOT your good (or not so good) looks. LET JESUS be the Lord. Not all the stuff that'll waste away and be a vapor. Your soul lives on. Your clothes, your car, your obsessions with hobbies and social media- it'll fade. 

Take a look back and see that God was there all the time.

Take a look around you and be reminded that He is still working on your behalf even if you can't see much changing. He will go before you. Have child like faith, but WARRIOR like strategy.

Happy Wednesday. My favorite day. The day I was saved.