Lord, prepare me

 

 

 

 

 

I was listening to the song, "Sanctuary" earlier.

 

Raylea was singing along the best she could and I was crying just listening.

 

I am so thankful I am a Christian and that my child will be raised in a way to know God.

 

Pure and holy, tried and true...

 

 

I thank God I accepted Him early enough in life that I was a Christian when I married Grant and when I had my first child. I felt little Jack kick in my stomach when all this was going on in the car earlier and I felt so much gratitude I couldn't contain it.

 

I know there are some pretty sick people out there.

 

They don't care about God.

 

They curse Him.

 

They curse themselves.

 

And much worse..

 

I don't want to talk about them though.

 

 

I want to talk about God.

 

His holiness and His goodness.

 

 

We truly don't know, and we won't know the true holiness of God until we are in Heaven, I believe.

 

 

I do believe though that His Holy Spirit speaks to us when we are listening and close to Him and will cleanse us.

 

I am not perfect.

 

Neither are you.

 

I serve Someone Who is perfect, though.

 

I love Him.

 

I choose Him.

 

I will stand for Him no matter the cost.

 

I love His ways and I will follow Him always.

Lord, prepare me!

 



You're Not My Real Friend

This past week I have been trying to decide what the Lord would have me to write about.

Nothing came for days.

Finally, this morning, the phrase, "you're not my real friend," just popped in my head and I rushed over to my laptop. So, here goes.

First off, whether you are a follower of Christ, as I am, or you practice Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Wicca, or whatever... we all have ONE thing in common.

Satan is NOT our real friend.

So, I'm pretty positive there isn't a Satan worshipper reading my blog right now or any of the other false teachings' followers... so, I am going to get back to writing to those who are undecided and those who have decided to follow Christ, Who is the only way!

But let's be real for a minute.

There are plenty of people out in the world who are not you're real friend.

Even if they're a "Christian."

Even if they're your own family.

In Psalm 41:9 it reads,

Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.

My commentary explains that this is a prophecy of Christ's betrayal. Judas, spent three years learning from Jesus, traveling and eating with him. Eventually, Judas, who knew Jesus very well, betrays him.

Have you ever been betrayed?

Very likely.

It hurts. Doesn't it?

Right after this verse I read in Job 42:10,

And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.

After being accused by these friends for a wrong doing, Job was still able to pray for these friends.

So, just because someone hurts you, maybe they hurt you physically. Emotionally. They ruined your reputation. They simply hurt you worse than anyone ever has.

That's a real pain, and I don't ever try to take away from real pain.

I met a girl once who was molested by her own blood father growing up as a little girl.

I met another girl who's husband cheated on her.

I know a woman who has been married to her high school sweet heart her whole life and has been lonely every minute of their marriage, which recently ended in divorce.

Those are all real pain.

Back to real friends, or the lack thereof...

Whether you're a real friend to others or maybe you just don't have a real friend, you can be assured that NO matter what... you have ONE true friend.

Jesus Christ.

You're friends can let you down, your parents can let you down, your spouse can even let you down and fail you, BUT... Jesus can't and won't. Not possible.

So, I leave you with the promise that even though we all suffer from hurt at some point and at different degrees in our lives, we all have another thing in common, and that is that Jesus loves us more than anyone ever will or ever could.

Don't be discouraged if someone has hurt you, don't be sad if you don't have a real friend, because Jesus is there when you're all alone, he will hold your hand when nobody else will.



Great Peace.

 

 

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. Psalm 119:165

 

Psalm 119 is full of convicting scripture in my opinion.

 

Whoever wrote this chapter was in deed in love with God. They wanted to make Him happy.

 

Life can be hard. Life can be confusing. Life can be frustrating and downright unfair.

 

I have heard it said before, "How can there be a God with all the bad things that happen?"

 

The way I see it is this, hell was made for the devil and his angels.

 

He rebelled against God and therefore evil took place.

 

When God made human, he gave us a free will.

 

If you don't want to make dinner tonight and would rather eat out, that's your choice. You have the free will to do so. If you want to stay single your whole life, that's your choice as well.

 

It's the same with serving God. It amazes me how people choose to not serve Him when He made them. He made you.

 

 

But, for some reason that isn't a good enough reason for many. They want more. They for sure don't want to surrender their life to God. I will tell you, personally, it was the best choice I ever made using my free will. You can read my personal testimony on my blog under "March 15th, 2006."

 

So, there is evil because people choose those actions and thoughts.

 

God is not evil.

God is holy.

God is mighty.

He is not at all mean or evil.

 

I read the verse Psalm 119:165 early this morning while I was searching for peace in a certain situation in my life. I asked God to please give me peace about it and I almost immediately came to this verse.

 

 

Great peace.

 

Not just peace.

 

GREAT. PEACE.

 

I don't know about you, but that is something I want.

 

But, go on and read the rest.

 

...have they which love they law: and nothing shall offend them.

 

 

First off, most people and even so called Christians don't even obey God's laws/commandments and for sure don't love them.

 

And people get offended awful easily.

 

There has been a couple times where I have had my feelings hurt. Mainly for the way the person approached me. I felt attacked more than loved. It's not that I was offended that the person was stating their opinion, but it was how they made me feel. I have taken those times in my life and applied them so in the future when I needed to approach someone on an issue, I went in pure love, not being condoning.

 

Just like the preacher says, "You have to catch the fish before you try to clean them up."

 

I agree with that, but I believe even more that when a person gets saved, they will want to clean up and the Lord will show them how in many ways. He did that for me.

 

People are out searching high and low for peace of mind. This verse explains how to have it.

 

Love His word. Get in it. Talk to God and read His Word... more than you check Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I think it's healthy to take a break from those social media apps every once in a while. I only have Instagram, and I take breaks from looking at it periodically. I am fixing to do it again soon. It just makes a person realize they can live without a phone and the internet just fine.

 

I know this post was a little different from others I have written, but I felt strongly I needed to share my heart.

 

If you want great peace, if I want great peace, we simply need to meditate in God's Word.

And apply it.

 

Perhaps you are reading this and most of this is foreign to you.

 

That's okay. It was to me also about 8 years ago. I'm not perfect today either, but I strive daily to be like Christ and ask Him to help me be better in areas that I know need help.

 

When I die, I want people to say, "she was a woman of God. She didn't care what others thought. She just wanted to please Him."

 

That is all I want at the end of my life. I don't care about having a fancy home. New car. Name brand clothes. Being in the spotlight throughout life. Thousands to know my name.

 

I just want God to know I loved Him. And I want people to know I loved them and wanted to see everyone come to know Christ.

 

You can say a simple prayer today and you can write down that on Friday, May 9th, 2014, you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior.

 

Pray this prayer and mean it.

 

 

God. I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sins.

I have failed others but mainly I have failed You.

I am sorry for that.

I ask You that You would come into my heart and become the Lord of my life.

I need you, Lord.

I can't make it in life without You.

I believe you died on the Cross for my sins.

I believe you rose three days later and that You're soon to return.

Please give me strength to be the Christian you want me to be.

Show me how to be like You.

Thank you, Jesus for saving my soul.

In Jesus Name.

Amen.

 

 

I come to the garden alone

 

 

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing.

I'd stay in the garden with Him
Though the night around me be falling,
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.
 

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

 

 

 

 

 

I prayed and asked God what to write. And this song came to me.

 

As a little girl, my mom would take me and my siblings to visit a very special woman who went to our church.

 

Her a name was Betty Isaacs.

 

This was her favorite song.

 

I don't believe I would have ever learned this song, especially so young, if I hadn't known her.

 

 

 

 

When is the last time you went to the garden?

 

When I read these lyrics, and hum the tune in my head, I imagine going to a place, not physically, but spiritually in prayer.

 

I love praying with others. My husband, my friends, my family, my church, my daughter.

 

But, I really love just praying alone. Just me and God.

 

That's what I imagine when this song says, "I come to the garden alone."

When it talks about the dew still being on the roses, I am taking that as though it is very early in the morning.

This person came not only alone, but very early in the morning, when most people are still sleeping.

We live in a society where we either stay up super late and therefore we have to sleep in late, or we go to bed early because we are getting up early to go somewhere, likely work.

When's the last time you purposely planned out a time to pray. I'm not saying you have to, but I personally was a little convicted when I read these lyrics. I really read them.


The last verse says this person would stay with Him in the garden.

We usually pray for 2, 5, 20 minutes and call it good. Yet, we will sit and watch a movie for two hours. We will talk on the phone for an hour. We will get up early to go to work or to a sale at the mall when we won't even get up at some point during the day or night to pray.

I firmly believe if we set time aside to spend with God, He will hear us. He will listen. He will answer.

He showed me yet again this week how big he really is. He showed me also that I need to put more faith in Him, than in others. He showed me that I need to go to the garden alone more often.

So, I'm not writing this little entry to try to make you feel bad for not praying or for praying for a small amount of time only at your convenience.

I plan on going to garden alone more often, and staying there longer.

I want to hear Him speak to me. I want to walk with Him more.

He is sitting there, waiting in your garden for you.

Won't you come visit Him?

 



Because He lives

 

 

 

 

Because He lives

I can face tomorrow

Because He lives

all fear is gone

Because I know

He holds the future

and life is worth the living

Just because He lives.

 

 

 

Read those words above a few more times.

No, really. Read them.

 

Let them sink in, down deep.

 

He is risen.

 

He is alive.

 

Is He alive in your heart?

 

You will know it if He is.

 

You won't have to second guess yourself.

 

He is alive in my heart and life.

 

He gives me peace when I have none.

 

He whispers to me sometimes, so I listen really carefully.

 

He assures me that He does hold the future.

 

No matter what life brings.

 

You maybe have lost a child this past year.

 

You maybe have been told you will never have a child of your own.

 

Maybe you are sick. All the time. And nothing helps.

 

Perhaps you are in the waiting room of your life, waiting for God to tell you where to go next.

 

Maybe you are in a marriage where you feel trapped and alone.

 

Maybe your children have wrote you off and have nothing to do with you.

 

You lost your job. You have no income.

 

Your dad is fixing to go back to prison. Again.

 

Your parents are divorcing.

 

You found out your wife is cheating on you.

 

You had a miscarriage.

 

Your baby was stillborn.

 

You feel lonely in your marriage.

 

You are in debt up to your eye balls.

 

You've gossiped so much about others that you've ruined your own reputation.

 

Your best friend suddenly found a new best friend.

 

You cry out to God, but don't hear anything back.

 

Your mom has cancer.

 

You have cancer.

 

You have anxiety.

 

You're depressed, but can't admit it.

 

 

 

I know at least one person who is going through at least one of those situations.

 

Why would God allow this?

 

My answer, and I don't expect it to be "good enough" for all of you, is this...

 

God sent His only Son to die for this sinful world, so we could live eternally with Him.

 

We all have a free will. We can do what we want basically.

 

It never once said in the Bible that if you follow God you will have the perfect life. Perfect parents. Perfect spouse. Perfect kids. Perfect health. Perfect everything.

 

It was actually the opposite. We have to be willing to deny ourselves and follow Him. Not many people do that. You can only answer that for yourself.

 

But, even if you do live whole hearted for Him, bad things will still happen.

 

BECAUSE... we live in a sin-filled world.

 

I grew up in a home where my dad was an alcoholic.

My dad was delivered and gave his whole life to God when I was 12.

I got to see the realness of God by how he changed a drunk into a mighty man of God.

 

I had a miscarriage last December. We had wanted our second child for quite a few months at that point. We were so excited to learn we were having another baby. Just days after finding out we would be second time parents, the dreams and hopes for the future were shattered, taken away totally.

I felt alone. Friends checked on me and family loved on me. But I just wanted that baby back in my belly. I wanted to be his or her Mommy, just like I am Raylea's.

 

But, I learned what it was to trust God and trust His hand. I had to follow His words even when the pain was so raw and real. Even when I saw 9 month pregnant ladies that were smoking a cigarette or yelling at their kids like they were dogs. I had to trust Him.

 

I will always be able to help someone who goes through a similar loss, because I can relate to their pain.

 

I could go on for a while about different scenarios that lead me to see God working.

 

Sometimes it took years for me to see His plan. Sometimes only a day.

 

My point is, this life is as a vapor... please don't get so caught up in questioning God of "why?"

 

I am also not telling you to toughen up, because many people are going through very awful things right now, this second.

 

But God didn't cause any of this pain and suffering. Our sin natures is what cause the evil, the hurt, the sickness, the pain. Just because you're going through something doesn't mean that God doesn't love you, He is trusting you to make it through this trial and come out on top.

 

If your life had no problems, why would you need God? Of course we would worship Him, but seriously. We wouldn't know the feeling of depending on Him. I can't imagine that. He is where I get peace, even if that means I am hurting, I love to pray and talk to Him and feel Him wrap His arms all around me and tell me everything will be okay.

 

And it will.. because, He lives.

 

You can face tomorrow.

 

Tell yourself that. Right now.

 

Because He lives, all fear is gone!

Because I know He holds the future

and life is worth the living

 

just because

 

 

HE LIVES.



Somebody has it worse!

Some people just have it worse.

I am someone who feels awful for anyone going through a hard time, even if it's just a toothache.

And let's be real... a toothache can be a very big deal!

I hate to see someone hurting when recovering from a surgery, even if I have been through the same thing.

I hate seeing someone have the flu, because I get the flu once a year and it stays for about a week usually. And I usually am thinking I am going to die that week because of how awful I feel.

I hate to see someone hurting from the loss of an unborn child. I have been there. Sure, everyones experience is different, like all things in life, but I know what the sting feels like when losing someone you have never met. I used to think, "oh, that would be so hard to go through." Then, I went through it. And the word "hard," doesn't come close to how it really is.

I can't stand to see someone be lonely, and wait and wait for their spouse to show up one day, and years later, they still haven't arrived.

I can't stand to see someone struggle with their self-worth.

I really hate to see someone commit suicide.

Or even contemplate it.

I grew up in a home where my dad was an alcoholic until I was 12. That wasn't always easy, but I know someone on a personal level who is married and gone from their home and her dad has not only been an alcoholic, but also into drugs, in and out of jail/prison and just finished a divorce with his high school sweet heart.

I would love a big family. 3 or 4 kids. Grant would like 10 I think! We have a healthy, smart, beautiful little girl who is 2 years old here with us to love and cherish. I have a friend who just found out she basically can never carry or give birth to her own child. I have another friend who recently lost her baby boy at 21 weeks pregnant. No reason. No infection. Nothing wrong with her or him. It just happened. No answers.

 You want to talk about hard. That would be hard. And I saw this girl do nothing but hold her head high through it all. And her husband. They have shown me what it is to be true trusters of Christ. And not once have I seen either of them complain. Sure, they are human- but I think they are super human. I love that couple extra special..

I would love to travel to another country one day. Africa or Australia. Just to explore and eat their food and see the animals. But, every time I drive through Wichita, it never seems to fail, that their is somebody standing on the side the road with a card board sign explaining that they have no job or money and they have a family to feed.

Sometimes I don't feel good. A headache. A bellyache. A backache that last for weeks. Then, there is a man named Kevin. He is my little brother's father-in-law. He was in an awful accident at his work last summer where he worked for the rail-road and got ran over. His legs totally taken off. He is around 40 years old, and he will sit in a wheel chair for the rest of his life here on earth.

Sometimes I feel nobody cares. Nobody understands where I'm coming from... I have sat and cried because of the pain in my heart.

Then, I think of a Man. He came and died an awful death so that I could live life more abundantly and I could feel freedom in my heart and soul.

This last Saturday, March 15th, I was saved for 8 years. I want to do something special for my 10 year. I seriously look forward to that day more than any birthday or anniversary I know of. It was the best day of my life.

I have learned some life long lessons in the past 8 years. Some were not easy to go through, but now that I look back, I see why God allowed me to go through what I did. A lesson I have recently learned, even though I have always heard it from my mom, is...

"Someone always has it worse."

Ya, it's usually not what you want to hear when your problem seems so huge... and yes, sometimes it is huge! But, it's just the truth.

Someone out there is dying of cancer and throwing up every few minutes in their last few weeks of life while you are feeling sorry for yourself about your neck being out.

Someone out there is praying and fasting with their spouse for the past several years for a child, while you complain about your toddler that won't stop throwing fits.

Someone is out there working as hard as they can to make ends meet while you complain that your WIC card hasn't come in the mail. (I'm guessing that is how is works..)

Someone out there is sitting at home alone while their fiancé is in war across seas while you're whining about your fiancé not helping you pick out cupcakes for the reception.

Someone out there goes home each day after school to a home where they are abused, physically and mentally, while you smart off to your parents because they won't buy you the new "cool" item everyone at school has.

Someone out there is thirsty. They haven't had pure drinking water their entire life. They battle with stomach infections constantly because of the bacteria growing in their water.

While you complain that the restaurants water is too nasty tasting or doesn't have enough ice in it.

Someone out there is burying their father today, while you hold a constant grudge over your father's head all because of something that happened years ago.

 Someone out there has no peace in their life while you bicker and fight with your "Christian" spouse 24/7. Wow, you are being such a great light to this world.

Someone out there would do anything for you to notice them, but you are too busy taking care of number 1 to even look their way.

Someone out there has it worse, very likely.

I'm not downplaying your pain. Trust me. I meant it when I said I feel so bad for someone who has a toothache.

What I am trying to express is that sometimes we, (myself very included) will act like our world is ending when we go through a tough time. Some tough times are tougher than others. My little brothers father-in-law, who lost his legs is a much bigger problem than you getting the flu. Not that the flu isn't awful and it can even be deadly... but we need to try to see how our problems could be so much worse, rather than being so mad at the hand we were dealt.

I honestly wrote this just for myself. I really don't care if anyone else even reads this.

It was a wonderful reminder to myself that someone out there has it worse than I do.

Pray for others and then pray for yourself.



Following the leader, the leader... the leader!

 

 

 

 

It's a game we all know how to play.

 

The leader walks to the left and everyone else follows him.

 

The leader walks in a circle, they follow.

 

I have a question for you.

 

Who are you following?

 

Often times, we follow the people we spend most time with. That is probably why when I first gave my heart to the Lord on March 15th, 2006, the woman who prayed the sinner's prayer with me, told me to tell my friends I got saved and to not spend anymore time with people who will bring me down.

 

That was the best counsel and advice I received. The group of people I spent my time with were not Christians. When I told them I got saved, they all looked at me like I was crazy.

 

Crazy, I am.

 

Crazy for Jesus!

 

Back to following the leader.

 

Who are you following?

 

And better yet, who are you leading? And where are you leading them?

 

As a parent, I know that how I talk, act, and react is likely how Raylea will talk, act, and react.

 

I want her to always be a godly girl. I want her to see Jesus in me.

 

That's my main goal in life, is to be a good example, to be Christ-like to not only strangers, but to those who live with me every day of my life.

 

I am following my husband.

 

I chose to follow him.

 

He leads me right.

 

He leads me in Truth, and he leads me to Christ.

 

I am so blessed to have a husband who leads me correctly.

 

I have some great friends. I know I am in a position, being much older than some of them, that I am able to lead them. Surprisingly though, some of those young friends of mine have lead me at times!

 

Then I have friends who are 45 years older than me, I lead them some days and some days they lead me. The idea is that we are helping each other in this life and leading each other towards Christ.

 

What I am trying to get at, is that you are leading someone and you are following someone.

 

Make sure that whoever you're following is in line with Christ, and make sure you are in line with Christ because many people are following you, whether you see it or not.

Make sure whoever you're following is following Christ.

And make sure you are following Christ, because whether you like it or not, someone out there is following you. Even if you don't see it.

 

So, check yourself.

 

Ask God for His help. I promise He will give it to you.