So many marriages have been falling apart lately. Dropping like flies. Not sure what that's all about, but I do know that marriage isn't easy all the time even as a Christian, married to a Christian.
I have been married nearly eight years and the best advice I feel I could give a young newly wed couple, would be this.
If you don't meet each other's needs, you'll fall into a vicious cycle.
If you do meet each other's needs, you'll fall into a victorious cycle.
Now, you may say, that isn't advice! That's just a statement.
Well, read it a few times and you'll soon see that it is wonderful advice if you take it to heart.
Not many people want talk about any failure they have had.
I am for sure one of those people! Who wants to admit they were wrong? Man, not me.
But, part of my daily walk with God consists of admitting I'm wrong all the time, and depending on Him for help. So, that's gotten a little easier.
Something that your man needs, wives, is sex.
It doesn't matter that you're tired, that he was rude to you most of the day or that you haven't showered. It isn't going to help you out by withholding something like that.
Grant would much rather me withhold his dinner (steak (bone in), mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn on the cob and sweet tea) than withhold sex.
Not only does your man need it, he needs you to need and want it too.
Our society has turned sex into something so dirty and perverted, just like they have tried to turn everything that God intended to be holy, into something bad.
God wants you and your spouse to experience great pleasure! He made the marriage relationship to be a safe place to enjoy, experiment and explore! Sex is meant to be heavenly and holy and truly fulfilling in all aspects.
Show love to your spouse in the bedroom. Don't do anything that would down grade them or disrespect them. Don't do anything unnatural.
God wants you to have freedom with your spouse, and your spouse only!
Ladies, stop saying no, or soon, he will stop asking.
Men, I don't feel comfortable telling a man what to do, and I also feel that's not my place, but I will give the simple advice while we are on the sex subject...
Romance her. Kiss her throughout the day. Don't expect anything in return. Give her a hug and thank her for all she does and tell her how much you appreciate her. Take over washing the dishes one night. Open a door for her and treat her like a lady.
After a day of that, I promise, if she still says no to you at the end of the day, there must be something wrong with this woman.
But ladies, whether or not he does any of that, it's still your job as his wife to fulfill and meet that need that is very important to him.
Date your spouse.
I'm sure you've heard this one before, but it's very important.
Every week or two, Grant and I have either his parents or my parents watch the two kids and we go on a date. If our parents can't, we get a babysitter. It's very important that you get alone and have time to just talk, hold hands in the car instead of having to hand a kid a toy or sippy cup, and have someone else cook a meal for me. :)
Grant is so good at writing me little notes every now and then and leaving them on the fridge or on the counter. He is also good at buying me little presents randomly. I need that. That is my main love language according to that book... GIFTS! I love, love, LOVE gifts. I love to give gifts too, which they say whatever you do to show love is how you FEEL loved. It can be a dollar item, I still feel just as loved as if it were $100.
Find out how your spouse feels loved and show it! Love isn't just a word, it's an action!
For God so loved the world that He....
GAVE!
John 3:16
Give to your spouse! Pray and ask God to show you how to show love to them if you truly don't know or if you need God to give you the desire.
Put your spouse above yourself.
I am still working at this. I have two kids to take care of and at the end of the day, I am tired. It doesn't always come 100% naturally for me to ask Grant if he needs anything or if I can get him a drink. (water or tea, I'm not talking about something alcoholic... I am ANTI anything alcoholic, and that's because it isn't of God and He wouldn't do it, so why should we?!) Okay, back to Grant. I just need a little reminding to myself that I need to put him above me!
Here's a few ideas.
Before sex, ask if you can rub their back.
While they are showering in the morning, make sure they remembered to put a towel by the shower door to dry off.
Pick up their dirty socks. It's not that huge of a deal.
Pick up your dirty socks. It's not that huge of a deal.
:)
Let your wife sleep while you go rock the baby back to sleep at 3a.m.
Pray over them. Often.
Make them breakfast and make it special.
(Even if you have to get up at 5am before he leaves for work.)
Respect her in front of others. Not only will you be showing them how much she means to you, but you will also be proving how much of a true man you are.
Watch the kids so she can go hunt. (Yep, Grant is doing that for me tomorrow.)
Make their coffee in the morning and ask them how much creamer.
Buy her some roses just because.
Rub his shoulders even when yours are aching.
Forgive each other.
Grant and I have had some ups and some downs, as any marriage does.
But the best thing we have learned is to forgive and forgive quickly.
Sometimes people say things they don't mean. And it can be hurtful! I have been on both ends. I am sure we all have said things hurtful and we have been told things hurtful, at some point or another.
It's important that you can quickly say sorry and also that you're willing to quickly forgive!
I know I have only been married a short amount of time compared to many, but I felt led to share the few things I have learned over the eight years of marriage I have had.
I hope this helped someone and you can apply it to your marriage.
END NOTE
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God made marriage to be between a man and a wife.
"what therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
Matthew 19:6
God joins together a man and woman, never a man and man or woman and woman.
So, this advice was for couples that are married who are a man and woman.
