Face your mountain by Jason Bruns

Joshua 17:14 And the children of Joseph spake unto Joshua, saying, Why hast thou given me but one lot and one portion to inherit, seeing I am a great people, forasmuch as the Lord hath blessed me hitherto? 

And Joshua answered them, If thou be a great people, then get thee up to the wood country, and cut down for thyself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, if mount Ephraim be too narrow for thee. 

-----

The children of Joseph found themselves in an interesting dilemma. They had been blessed so abundantly that their lot of the promise land was too little for their needs. 

Sometimes God gives us so much that we are not able to live as we once did. Sometimes he blesses us with material things that allow us to give to other people; we soon learn that if we give to others then it will be impossible to give away enough to be wanting. In turn our giving requires more getting which requires more managing.At times God blesses his people with church family enough that the place they once occupied no longer is large enough for their physical needs- oh glory to God! We sometimes need more parking, more restrooms, more air conditioning, more sound, more Sunday school rooms, more teachers, more preachers! Oh thank you Jesus, we have more need for more land! Sometimes God blesses us with plenty of building and not enough people, plenty of people but not enough money. Sometimes it seems like we are just to restricted on time to do what we want to do for God. 

Soon the questions come; how come I received this lot? How am I going to be sustained on this lot alone? How come I'm not granted more space, more time, more money, more rest?

How are we going to expand our time, how are we going to manage our resources? How are we going to fulfill the needs of our family, and our church family? How can we meet our needs and the needs of those close to us? Are we ever going to be comfortable? 

Joshua had the answer for the children of Joseph. "Get up to the wood country and cut down the trees in the land where the giants are." Now I have to think that the tribe of Joseph didn't particularly like the answer they received. I'm certain they would have rather had Joseph tell them "alright" I'm going to give you flat land in the bottom of the land of Canaan, or perhaps they hoped he would tell them-go ahead and tell me the land you desire and I'll grant it to you. Unfortunately that is not the answer that the tribe of Joseph received. 

Sometimes the answer that God gives us is the difficult answer. The sort of answer that takes work, the sort of answer that gets our hands dirty, the sort of answer that takes great faith!

If God always gave us what we wanted or gave us what we felt like we needed, then the kingdom of God would be full of faithless juveniles! Mature faith is the kind of faith we need. The kind of faith that allows us to look at the mountain, and to face the giants and say "my God is able" My God can rescue me from the storm but he can also help me to endure the storm. He is able to deliver me from the fire and he is able to take me through the fire! My God is able to work through me as well as for me.

In the kingdom of God we must be willing to accept our lot; and still be willing to ask for our necessities, but work for our inheritance!

Why don't we heed to the voice of Joshua, pray a little more, give a little more, work a little more, and most of all, have faith more-in the Kingdom of God! By the way, look what Jesus did for us, he let them strap an old rugged tree his back, and drive nails in his hands, then he willingly died for you and I.

Lord Jesus give us the grace to have great faith, even when we do not receive the easy answer.

JAB. Plane ride home from Spring Jubilee 5/18/17

Having a form of godliness

 

 

 

My heart is pounding.

 

 

It has always amazed me how it does that when I know I am about to write or type something that God has laid on my heart.

 

 

 

I guess it's a mixture of excitement with a little bit of nervousness to have the responsibility to say something in words the right way for people from all different cultures and backgrounds to understand.

 

 

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

2 Timothy 3:1-7

 

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone these days wants to look out for Number 1. We have social media to thank for the explosion of "selfies."

 

 

What happened to people being selfless?

 

 

People work endless hours so they can have endless things. Or they chose to not work endless hours and ask the government for every form of hand out so they can still "afford" to go out to eat and take a family vacation every few months. We are all entitled to something! That is what our culture says!

 

 

 

Boasting and being prideful tend to go hand in hand.

 

Someone new sings at church. You're jealous because they clearly have more "talent" than you.

 

Or maybe they don't have the talent but they are anointed- which truly breaks the yoke.

 

 

You fill your Pinterest board and thoughts with new ideas on how to make your home the most cozy, the most updated, the most unique....

 

 

all the while, you're spending money on stuff that will burn one day yet you don't take 30 seconds to share Christ with the cashier at Hobby Lobby because your mind is only set on one thing. You and your new prized possession.

 

 

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, it says in Pslams! If you're redeemed, you have something to be telling others about on a DAILY basis.

 

 

 

Once you get your house, yard and porch looking perfect, you take photos and share them with your friends or followers.

 

 

 

 

People DENY God. Blasphemy. Here soon I am going to write a post directly to all those out there who call themselves atheists.

 

 

 

I have had my share of times my children have disobeyed me, and I've only been a parent for a mere 5 and a half years. But, there is correction and love to explain how God would want them to behave. Be the parent God wants you to be and maybe your kid will obey better. The closer I draw to the Lord, the closer I am able to draw to my children.

 

 

 

I've been in several situations where I felt I was unappreciated and honestly, it all comes down to others being unthankful. Whether you've given your time, your energy, your money, you name it, if someone is unthankful, that is THEIR problem.

 

 

 

Unholy... boy, this is one I could write for days on, after kneeling down and begging God to forgive ME.

 

 

Stop looking down your nose at others. Just like the old preacher said, "you gotta catch the fish before you try cleaning them up." Give people time and space and allow GOD to work in them. It isn't your job to press all your convictions down others' throats. I have STRONG convictions on things and I can back up every one of them with scripture. For those who WANT to learn more about God and how to please Him, they can read what I write. You are choosing to read this. I'm not forcing you.

 

 

 

Mothers aborting their child. Doesn't get more "without natural affection" than that.

 

 

 

 

Ever had someone give you their word they would do something and it not happen? That's because rarely this day and time do many folks keep their word.

 

Example...

 

'Til death do us part...

 

not... 'til you make me mad and I don't think you're attractive anymore do us part...

 

 

Some people can't stand GOOD. Some? I'm sorry, MOST. People love their evil ways and their sin. That is why headlines are ate up with horrific murders and sick perverts.

 

 

 

Heady.... high minded... I think of someone who thinks ONLY THEY KNOW THE ANSWER.

 

 

I have always tried to be very transparent. When someone asks me for advice, I will often say I do not know the answer but that I will pray and read God's word and seek it out.

 

 

Be open to being corrected. Be open to being wrong. Be open to changing.

 

God can only work in a person like that.

 

 

 

 

People love pleasure...

 

 

having nice stuff.

going to nice places.

driving nice cars.

wearing nice clothes.

eating nice food.

attending a nice church.

having a nice phone.

 

 

 

They are all pleasures and people love them MORE than they love God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the one that is probably the most obvious in the church today...

 

 

having a FORM of godliness, but denying the POWER!

 

 

You think you have everyone fooled. You think your little small sins are not a big deal. Even God surely couldn't be concerned with them with all the worse sins out there!

 

 

 

 

 

Listen, you are denying the power of God when you say you have been delivered from pornography, yet you occasionally look at dirty pictures here and there.

 

"But they just pop up on my phone without me knowing! It's not fault! I only look a few seconds!"

 

 

Well, buddy, then get rid of your phone. Remember the verse about cutting stuff off if it's holding you back? Ya, I'm pretty sure God IS concerned about you looking at half naked women whether you are single, married or in between. Same goes to you, lady.

 

 

 

Don't come to church in a tight pencil skirt for God and everyone else to see every curve on your back side while praise and worship is going on. The way you dress reflects what is on the inside of your heart. So, if you want to make men lust and teenage boys have a hard time focusing on God, then go ahead, dress like Kim Kardashian.

 

 

 

While we are talking about celebrities, quit idolizing them! If you want to idolize someone, it should be JESUS CHRIST. Study the way he talked, walked, dressed, loved...

 

 

it'll change your life!

 

 

 

 

FROM SUCH TURN AWAY.

 

To me, that means anyone who is THIS WAY, turn away from them! They will HARM and HURT you. They think they know what it is to be a Christian, but they have no idea.

 

 

 

 

 

These sins and PEOPLE sneak into houses....

 

 

through your PHONE

through your TV

through your PASTOR

through your FRIENDS

through your JOB

through your KIDS

through YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

I have lots of books. Maybe 30-40 Christian books sitting near me right now. A while back God said in my spirit, Hannah...

 

I GAVE YOU THE BEST BOOK.

 

READ THAT MORE.

 

 

So, I have been.

 

 

You can learn and learn and learn about God but you'll never come to the knowledge of the TRUTH until you SEE your SINS and chose to TURN from them.

 

 

No, you won't be perfect but SIN won't be part of WHO you are.

 

 

Your sensitivity to sin will show how much you love the Lord.

 

 

A preacher said recently, "when is the last time you wept over sin in your life?"

 

 

 

 

I want to end this post with that soul wrenching question....

 

 

 

WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WEPT OVER SIN IN YOUR LIFE?

 

 

 

Think about it... talk to God about it... I will do the same.



My Words

 Palm Sunday, our church washes feet.

I loved washing Raylea's this year. She better understood the meaning and act of it.

 

Raylea loving on Gracie after she washed her feet.

It was Aunt Betty's first foot washing service to ever miss she said, so we took the kids by afterwards and let them wash her feet. The only pan I could find was this little one. She said, "I cook my beans in that." HAHAHA.

This post has zero to do with foot washing. I just thought some would enjoy the photos.









_______________________________________________________



 

Words have a lasting effect.

 

I have a saying next to our kitchen table, which is where we do our homeschooling, which says...

 

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

 

 

That is true is MOST situations.

 

 

But, I can remember a handful of one liners throughout my life that I have truly never been able to erase from my memory, as hard as I have tried.

 

Whether I said it, or was on the receiving end...

 

Remember, that saying says, "THEY MAY..."

 

Not, "They will."

 

 

 

 

 

Depending on the individual's soul, I believe that determines whether or not their death will be a tragedy or a triumph.

 

 

 

Death comes in many forms.

 

 

I read this past week about a little four year old boy who drowned in a neighbor's pool after wandering away from home.

 

 

 

Two mornings ago, an NFL star ended his own life in his jail cell after being sentenced to life without parole.

 

 

 

A crazy mad man shot and killed an elderly man on Easter Sunday and posted it to his Facebook page. He later turned the gun on himself while being chased by police.

 

 

 

 

My Grandpa died of cancer 10 years ago, this August. He was my good buddy.

 

 

 

 

Last year, I am pretty sure it was in April, a man who was a spiritual hero of mine, was diagnosed with cancer and he passed away three short months later.

 

 

On Thanksgiving this past year, Uncle Darrel came out and met our new baby, Arrow. Four days later he died from heart complications.

 

It was her first Thanksgiving, and his last.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death used to scare me.

 

 

As I shared in a recent post, I dealt with depression for 6 months and was delivered from it in January of this year.

 

 

During that time, death frightened me.

 

 

But, oddly enough, I allowed the devil to lure me into entertaining the thought that if I were dead, this world would be a better place.

 

 

Truly. I felt that some days.

 

 

And that takes me pushing down a lot of pride to even be able to type that.

 

 

That I felt that low. Worthless. Unloved. Alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I tend to struggle with words...

 which may shock you.

 

 

I feel much more comfortable writing to someone about how I feel, whether it's good, bad or ugly, on paper. I even wrote the devil a note once! No lie! I gave it to my mother in law, which that actually cracks me up to type, because those of you who don't know me are probably thinking, "What?? Your mother in law is the devil?? I thought that was MINE!!"

 

 

Ha. Well, far from that.

 

 

Rhonda Lea Ledbetter is one of the BEST friends I have. My mom said to me years ago, "you and her are like Naomi and Ruth!" And that is exactly what we call each other.

 

 

So, I gave that letter to satan to her because I wanted her to keep it safe incase I needed reminded of what I told him!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've also made the mistake once by writing/texting someone how I felt about a certain situation and I learned that there are some things left better to be spoken about in person.

 

 

Just another "life lesson" we all should remember.

 

 

 

 

As a little girl I remember writing my prayers to God down on a paper and walking out into the field back behind our house and tossing it up in the air, thinking it would just magically fly high into the clouds and then go out of sight, kind of like a movie scene.

 

Nope. My prayer flopped down on the ground in front of me that day. I remember thinking "Oh, well, He will still get it."

 

 

 

During the time I was depressed, I had a lot of days I felt my prayers were just flopping down and splattering out on the floor, so to speak.

 

 

I wasn't thinking "He will still get it, " on those days...

 

 

 

 

 

 

My husband has received so many cards and letters and texts from me since we first met. I could compile them and make a book!

 

 

I would likely leave out the ones where I was being slightly hormonal and complaining about the trash not being taken out or his dirty socks at the foot of the bed... or something else that wasn't going to matter in 24 hours.

 

Ya, if you're a wife, you've been there too.

 

 

 

 

I wrote my vows to him that were read on our wedding day.

Something that I remind him of often that was in them is that I would fight a tiger for him.

And I mean it.

 

 

I would lose.. but I would fight.

 

 

 

 

 

I write a journal to all my kids, including August.

 

I also keep one for Grant, and I started it back in May 2008. It's full of lots of goodies.

 

 

 

I enjoy writing to people and I often encourage others to write down how they're feeling by getting them a journal or notebook of some sort.

 

 

I said all of that to say- I have used my "gift" for words 99% of the time for good. For God.

 

 

I don't have a ton of extra time to sit around and type on a keyboard like I am right now. Truth be told, I have all three of my kids parked in front the TV watching a kids movie on Netflix. That'll distract them for maybe 12.5 minutes... so, as you can imagine, I'm typing as fast as these short little fingers can go.

 

 

I DO find time though because I know it is helping someone, SOMEHOW... somewhere.

 

 

For one, I like to check my stats a few days after I posted a new blog post and I can see several (usually around 5 or 6) countries who will have people from there who read that particular post. After the US, usually Russia and France and Germany top the list. Right this moment, someone from France is reading...

 

So, BONJOUR to you!!!

 

 

Good thing I am typing that, not saying it, because with my slight hick accent mixed with French... well, that just isn't very cute.

 

 

 

I write because of YOU.

 

 

You, person.

 

 

You, man.

 

 

You, woman.

 

 

You, lonely wife.

 

 

You, abusive husband.

 

 

You, depressed teenager.

 

 

You, getting a divorce.

 

 

You, dying of cancer.

 

 

You, sinner.

 

 

You, Christian.

 

 

 

 

I WRITE FOR YOU.

 

 

 

I get pretty much zero pats on the back for this. No pay check. I opted out of getting ads on my blog, even though with the amount of traffic I get, I would make a little money at it, but I never want money to be connected to the reason I am giving of myself. Not that it's wrong to have ads on your blog... but I personally don't want them.

 

 

 

I genuinely write because in the back of my mind, I imagine some person sitting across the world at their computer or on their smartphone, and somehow they stumble across this page.

 

 

They were feeling helpless and hopeless. But, maybe after reading a post I wrote a year ago, they decide to live another day. They realize the devil is a liar. They read about how God delivered me from not only depression this year, but better than that, delivered me from hell when I accepted Him as my Savior as a 17 year old girl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not perfect. I am saved. I try every day to please the Lord.

 

 

In my actions. In my attire. In my attitude. In my relationships. In my roles.

 

 

 

 

 

But, evil is real. The devil is mad. He wants you.

 

 

 

 

BUT. BUT. BUT.

 

 

 

 

GOD is greater than evil. GOD is greater than the devil. And GOD is greater than any issue you're facing today.

 

 

 

I've had a trying month. That's all I will say.

But, God has proven He's faithful once again.

 

Just me and God. That's all that matters.

 

 

 

 

 

The devil is a liar. He has proved that to me once again as well.

 

 

 

But, through my weakness, GOD HAS BEEN STRONG.

 

 

Through any heartache, GOD HAS BEEN THERE.

 

 

Through any confusion, GOD HAS BEEN MY ROCK.

 

 

Through the storms, HE HAS BEEN MY LIGHT HOUSE.

 

 

Through the night, HE COMFORTS ME.

 

 

 

When no spouse, no child, no parent, no best friend, when nobody can give you peace...

 

TRUST JESUS.

 

 

TRY HIM TODAY.

 

 

You were MADE to desire HIM. He desires and longs for you.

 

 

But, we all have that thing called a FREE WILL.

 

 

I will write more on that later.

 

 

 

 

 

I challenge you to find your bible right now.

Even if it's just by using your phone.

 

 

Go read a chapter out of Romans.

 

 

Any of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And for now....

 

 

 

Adios.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Whoever you are. :)

 



Lessons Learned

 

 

 

I remember as a little kid, sitting there at a (in my mind at least) very long wooden table that was up against a wall. That is where my mom would have me sit and work on some school stuff at home. I'm guessing I was around 5. But I remember her teaching me my left and right as I sat there, at the long skinny desk.

 

 

I remember being out and getting so confused of which way was left, or which way was right. I would think to myself, "if I was just sitting at that desk."

 

 

I would get back to it later and remember, oh yes, that is left and that is right...

 

 

 

Now, obviously I now know my left and right without having to sit at that table, but it was a lesson I had to learn.

 

 

Simple, but still, a lesson indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

Since I stay home with my kids, I have the opportunity to teach them lessons all day long.

 

 

God called me to homeschool a year and a half ago, so, the lessons shall continue for a good 18 more years, or until Arrow graduates.

 

 

I remember wanting to be a wife, a mommy and a teacher as a kid.

 

 

I get to be all three, every single day.

 

 

 

 

 

Although I am teaching, I am guiding, I am training and disciplining...

 

 

my kids are teaching me too.

 

 

 

They are teaching me lessons, as I teach them.

 

 

 

 

Today, Jack got into trouble. After I disciplined him, he had to go tell his big sister he was sorry. After he said, "I'm sorry, sissy," he leaned in for a big hug, to her arms which were already out waiting for him as she stood in her room. He then said, "pick me up," to her. She smiled and picked him up and they went over by her window and started playing happily.

 

 

 

 

I thought, right there, they both taught me a lesson. Jack taught me to be quick to say you're sorry and mean it. Raylea taught me to be quick to accept the apology and move on...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, these kids are teaching me a new lesson each minute I feel like, but I want to stay on this one.

 

 

 

 

How often do you do something wrong, and mess up?

 

Some things are premeditated, some are basically "out of the blue" honest mistakes, and then some are practiced day in, and day out.

 

 

Maybe you lashed out at your spouse because you disagreed with how much money they spent that week.

 

You got caught up in gossiping about someone who you consider a close friend.

 

You let something get under your skin until you finally thought you would resolve it, once and for all- but you ended up handling it in a very ungodly manner.

 

You let jealousy creep into a friendship, which led to it ultimately ending, all because you couldn't be happy for someone else's joys.

 

Someone cut you off in traffic and you said something you hadn't said in years... or maybe you just thought it.

 

You had premarital sex. Several times. With several people.

 

You lied on your taxes this year.

 

You ignored your child's plea for help and for attention, and that is what led them to start cutting their body, taking drugs and sleeping around.

 

You got too caught up in work and started staying after hours, then you found yourself emotionally and then physically involved with someone who appeared to be better than who you have waiting on you at home.

 

You gambled once, then twice, now you're hooked and in debt and your marriage is about to end, all because of the addiction you have to money, whether you're winning or losing it.

 

You quit going to church. Maybe it was because you felt you weren't handled the right way there, or maybe because you felt you got nothing out of it, or maybe it's because you straight up don't care about being around Christians and growing spiritually and worshipping God. Likely, it's the last...

 

 

(some of you or people I know of, have health issues and can't make it to church very often, but I have seen some pretty sick people, people dying of cancer and others bound to a wheel chair- get to church. As the saying goes... "going to church doesn't make you a Christian, but if you're a Christian, you'll want to go to church!")

 

 

You look at porn.

 

You lie to your parents.

 

You lie to yourself.

 

You are a man, and you don't lead your family spiritually.

 

You're a woman, and you won't let the man lead!

 

 

 

 

 

I don't list all of these instances to make you feel bad or guilty.. that isn't my job! I just want you to be honest with yourself and think...




Have I allowed myself to get to a place where I can't learn a lesson?





Ask yourself that a few times... quietly and honestly as you read the words slowly off of your computer, tablet or phone.



God is constantly wanting to teach us. His Spirit is there to guide us.


But, what if you are being un-teachable?


What if you are justifying your sin so much that you can't even admit to yourself,

by yourself,

alone,

that you're wrong?



and that you need to be changed...




The devil is sneaky. He even used scripture to sound good and he just twisted it.

(That proves that twisting the truth is a lie! So, don't do that.)


He wants you to slowly fall away. That way, it is not so obvious to the victim.



Like the frog being boiled... the water starts out cold, but slowly turns warm, then before the frog knows it, he's boiling and didn't realize it because it was a slow fade to his death.



The devil is sneaky and somewhat smart people, we have to admit that.

He wants to introduce sin to you slowly... just like changing the temperature in the pot for the frog.





BUT, God is the Truth. He is the WINNER. He is the Holy One Who you should be trusting in.




Tell God you're sorry today.



He is standing there, like Raylea was to Jack earlier, with arms wide open before you can even spit out "I am sorry."


Stop trying to fix it on your own.


He BECAME SIN on the Cross. YOUR SIN.



Think about that.



Now let's all go pray!



GOD IS SO, SO GOOD.



Make Him your best friend today, if you haven't already.













www.ourhomehomeontherange.blogspot.com



born again

 

 

 

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

 

John 3:3

 

 

 

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

 

Romans 10:9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have shared my testimony on here a few times, but every year, when it is drawing closer to spring time, I am reminded of the darkness I had in my heart leading up to the day I was saved.

 

 

 

 

I was physically born on a Thursday, at 4:41am on the 17th of November, in 1988, in Wellington, Kansas. Not exactly a big city. I think there are around 8,000 living there.

 

I'm the third of four kids.

I have an older brother and sister, and a little brother.

 

 

As a kid, I formed memories on nearly every street in that town, or at least traveled down it.

 

 

 

When I was five, and my sister was nine, we both won the Little Miss Wheat Queen pageant they had in Wellington each summer. A couple years later we both won again.

 

When I was five, I sang some song about asking God about the "thous and thees" and when it was my turn for the on stage question, they asked me what animal I would be if I could be one. Still not pronouncing my "r's" great, I responded, "A gool alligatewr" (girl alligator).

 

 

The first time I ever rode on a plane was at the teeny tiny airport that is still there. The owner of the plane was Jack Hilt. I was so scared. I think I was around five or six.

 

 

My childhood best friend was another blonde headed girl, Letisha. I remember playing with her and her siblings on the bunk bed downstairs pretending we lived in the olden days and the bunk bed was a horse drawn carriage and her little sister, Tiffany, was our little baby. When we were calmed down I remember her mom would let us play with her tea set that was in a cabinet. I remember forcing down the cereal at their house because instead of creamy cows milk from the store- they used goats milk. I was probably such a healthy kid from drinking that so much! haha!

At night her and I would lay in bed and draw on each others back to this little rhyme, "Big circle, little circle, question mark, dot, two big boulders, two tiny rocks, spiders crawling up your back, biting you, spiders crawling up your back, biting you, cool breeze (cue-blow on their neck) tight squeeze (and now squeeze their neck) GOT THE SHIVERIES???"

 

I remember ALWAYS getting goose bumps from that nearly every time! We swung on her swing set and when we found a quarter on the pavement outside their house, her mom let us walk down the street to Meeks and buy a gumball.

 

 

 

My parents have had their own flooring store there since I was about 10, I think. Now Raylea gets to be on the commercials! I am crowd and camera shy, so I'm hoping she can say all the lines this year!

 

 

I went through the Dairy Queen with my Granny numerous times in her convertible and she would get a free ice cream for her little dog, Daisy.

 

 

 

Well, I could write about 500 more memories of that town, but I will save your time and fast forward to fall of 2005.

 

 

Our pastor left our church. My dad was very faithful to not leave his church for another, so it was God's timing for us to go elsewhere.

 

 

My mom said, "can we please go to the "Fun Church," as she called it. Every time we left our church we often times would drive by Wellington Free Will Baptist Church on our way home because it was just on block north of the church we attended, you could see all the happy faces leaving and sometimes hear the happiness of worship going on inside! I remember seeing two girls a little bit younger than myself, walk to that church as we drove by and I thought to myself "I wish I was friends with them."

 

 

My dad figured that since they had bought carpet from him and he knew them, he would let us all give it a shot.

 

 

Well, they loved it!

 

 

I wasn't a Christian yet. I thought I was though...

 

 

 

I thought because I prayed and was American and my parents took me to church, that made me for sure a good Christian!

 

 

My first service there, there was a revival going on.

 

There was a couple who were of an average height on the stage, with three much taller sons.

I remember thinking "how did those two have such big kids??"

 

 

I went to church there, going through the same motions I did at our old church, for about 3 months. Then, in January 2006, on a Sunday morning, during the alter call, my dad asked me if I wanted to go pray. I unfolded my arms and only because it was my dad... I said yes.

 

I went down and knelt at the foot of the pulpit, a little bit to the left. My dad, the assistant pastor and the pastor, Zane Brooks, prayed for me. I had no words. Only tears.

 

Pastor Zane said words I will never forget, "Hannah, you don't have to say anything, God knows what your tears mean." He said that as he cried himself.

 

 

I went home and felt a little bit of softness in my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two months later it was a Wednesday night.

 

 

Wednesday, March 15th, 2006

 

 

 

A man who had been saved about a year was to give his testimony for the first time to us in the Youth Group. I sat a few rows back on the right side, amongst 50 some other kids my age.

 

 

I was 17 at this time, I might add.

 

 

 

I found myself really listening to this guy. He used to be into some stuff, such as alcohol, like my dad had been. He talked of how God changed his life, which is what I saw in my own dad. I got to wandering if that Jesus was the answer for my dad and for Jason Bruns, why would He not be the answer for me?

 

 

Alter call. I'm pretty sure nobody went down. I was so ready for it to be over.

 Then he asked the musicians to play one more song, because he felt someone was supposed to come down. I didn't think twice and if I did, I ignored anything telling me to wait longer, because I got up and booked it down to that little alter at the front of the building. I cried. His soon to be wife, Anna, led me in a prayer of repentance and I made Jesus the Lord of my life in that instant. I looked around and saw only love around me as I looked into all the faces of those kids my age who were gathered around me praying.

 

 

 

 

That night I went home and did what Anna told me to do, I prayed and asked God to show me what He would like me to read. I opened my little Bible and began to read...

 

 

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

 These things I command you, that ye love one another.

 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

 

 

John 15:16-19

 

 

I wrote that scripture above my bed on the wall shortly after... it's still there at my parents house.

 

 

 

God spoke to my through His word for the very first time the very night I was saved.

 

 

 Still, to this day, I try so hard to apply those verses to situations in my life.


I must remember that I am to LOVE others, even if I don't always feel it back from them. That is a lot harder at times than it sounds. But we are commanded to love one another.



And I also try to remember that I won't always be loved or liked back, by Christians or those who aren't. It's sad, but sometimes so called Christians can be the meanest people. Those are the ones who give Christianity a bad rap because they have their noses too high in the air instead of in their Bibles like they claim.

 Be meek people, be meek! You have no idea who you could be turning TOWARDS Christ or AWAY from Christ, all from your attitude and love for others.

 

 

 

 

God did so much in me that first year I was saved. He remains doing so. I am a work in progress.

 

 

I do not "practice" sin though. I don't use God's grace as a free ticket to sin.

 

 

If people in my life bring me down spiritually, I can pray for them. I don't need to run around with them though, and neither do you! As a Christian, you won't be everyone's "best friend..." Read the scripture above again if you disagree with me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Side note: Those two girls walking to that church that we passed occasionally were Zane and Charlotte's daughters, Crosby and Cheyenne.

 

 

The couple on the stage with the three tall boys... were my future family. I married the tallest boy, Grant Daniel Ledbetter. He is (in my opinion) the best preacher on the planet. No, he isn't as well known as some, he doesn't know the Greek for every word in the Bible, he doesn't Pastor his own church (yet), and he doesn't have a different suit to wear each service.

 

 

 

But, what he does have, is a heart to please God. He is meek. He is kind. He called me and the kids on his way in to town today to just have prayer with us. Yesterday after working out side all day, he came in and just wanted to hug me for a long time and he told the kids that I was his best friend. Grant is real. That is what I love most about him. He is just Grant. He is striving every day to be more Christ like and he hurts for those who are lost.

 

 

 

 

Zane is Grant's uncle (his mom's little brother.) So, Pastor Zane is now my uncle, and Charlotte, my aunt! And Cheyenne was a candle lighter in our wedding and Crosby was one of my maid of honors.

 

 

When Grant and I began dating I had never seen his parents other than when I saw them on stage that one time before I was saved. I was still in high school and had one of those fake babies for a childhood development class I was doing and I named it "Raleigh Texas Gaston." My big brother lived near Raleigh, North Carolina and my sister was in Texas at the time... me being slightly blonde at times... I pronounced Raleigh, "RAY-LEE". When Grant asked what my baby's name was, I told him. He had me repeat it about 3 times! He said in shock, "That is my parents' middle names put together!!! Danny Ray and Rhonda Lea!" I smiled and said "well, if we get married one day and have a girl, we will name her Raylea!" We were married a year and a half later in December 2007 and in October 2011 we had our first child, a girl.

 

 

And what did we name her?? Raylea Jo.

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, God ordained many things in my life.

 

 

 

What I think is the coolest though, personally... is the fact that I was born PHYSICALLY and SPIRITUALLY in the exact same town, just 17 years and 4 months apart.

 

 

 

 

Wellington Free Will has now expanded because they are bursting at the seams in the church they've been in all these years. They will have their first service in their new church building the Sunday after Easter. I plan on going to church, since they'll still be in the old sanctuary, on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017. It will be exactly 11 years since I was saved and it'll be the last "March 15th" I can visit in the church I was born again in.

 

 

 

My husband now preaches and helps his other uncle, Garry, full time in Wichita at the Free Will church there. I love our church we attend and he ministers at, but Wellington Free Will, will always be my "home."


I thank the Lord for my simple, happy life. I thank Him I'm healthy. I thank Him my kids are healthy. I thank Him I am in a happy marriage. I thank Him for loving me.
And for that, I will always love Him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading.

I fought depression... God won.

 

 

 

 

Have you ever felt alone?

 

Not so much physically-- but mentally, spiritually, emotionally..

 

 

When days pass, and that feeling doesn't leave you, you eventually will feel a way you didn't now existed.

 

 

 

Whether you're depressed or not, you know of someone who is, or has been.

 

 

 

I would like to share with you a very intimate testimony of mine.

 

 

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi, my name is Hannah.

 

 

I imagine most of you reading this already know that, but incase it's someone who is new here, "hello, and thanks for taking time out of your day to read what I have to say."

 

 

 

 

 

I am married to a man of God.

 

He is also a preacher, but that doesn't make someone godly.

 

It also doesn't make him a Christian to preach... confused yet? Well, to be a Christian is to be a Christ-follower. Grant IS a Christ-follower. I can't believe I get to be married to him. I truly am the one who "married up."

 

 

 

We have three gorgeous children, who I think are the greatest little people ever, even on their worst days.

 

 

 

 

We have a beautiful home that I love to be at, at least five days a week... :)

 

 

I am able to stay home and raise my children and I started homeschooling our oldest, who is five, this last fall.

Grant got to teach her entire lesson today for the first time. He does a way better job then me, in my opinion!

 

 

I have good friends, a few I can call my "best", and I feel loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 But, there is this guy... he goes by "Satan."

Ever heard of him?

 

 

He jumped on my back roughly six months ago.

 

 

 

I have struggled writing about this the past few weeks because for one, I don't have a ton of "extra" time with three littles to care for, a house to clean, meals to make and a life to live. But, I have managed to make time here and there over the course of a few days because I feel this needs to be told.

 

 

 

 

 

I honestly have no clue what started it all. It was some time in August though. I do remember that detail. I felt lots of different things and hardly any of it was positive. I felt insecure, which I felt total freedom from months before, but when you voice a weakness I believe Satan will try even harder to fight you there. So, once he learned I felt I wasn't a good enough mom, wife, friend, Christian... and any other hat I wear... he knew what kind of defense to play against me. And boy, did he play hard.

 

 

 

I began questioning if my friends really cared for me. I wandered if I was really making a difference by writing on "this stupid blog" (as the devil put it..) and I began to wander if God was hearing my prayers and if I was needed by Him. I never once turned my back on God. I never once questioned my call as a wife and mom. I never once did. But, I did question why I was feeling so down.

 

 

The days went by and it never got better. It got worse. I was scared to ask even Grant to pray for me because I thought I could just pray about it myself.

 

 

 

Weeks passed.

 

 

I found myself getting short with my kids and Grant.

 

 

More weeks passed.

 

 

I found myself feeling alone even in a crowd of people who loved me.

 

 

A few months passed.

 

 

I learned to put on a fake happy smile and fool people into believing I was "great" when they asked how I was.

 

 

Besides- I am one of the preachers' wives at our church and I have to have it all together. (Another lie from the devil.)

 

 

Our precious baby girl, Arrow Brielle was born November 11th, 2016. I found myself distracted by her and I felt a sense of happiness for a few weeks. Then exhaustion hit me, I wasn't able to pray because I wasn't taking the time to really talk to God. I officially put Him on the "back burner" of life. And I wandered why I felt that way for so long...

 

 

 

Christmas came and I found myself going though the motions. Dreading to see family and groups of people because inside I was crying and wanting to sleep and sleep and sleep with nobody to give a smile to. I felt very alone and confused at this point.

 

 

The new year came and we started eating much more healthy and I've been working out a few times a week. Still, even though physically I was helping my body, I still felt "ick." I felt frustrated for feeling this way for so long.

 

 

I began to ask Grant and couple others to pray for me when they could. I was in denial of the truth. The truth that depression was all over me. I looked it, I felt it, I couldn't escape it.

 

 

 

Saturday, January 14th, 2017 was my little niece's, Zoe, first birthday party.

 

 

I didn't want to go. I tried to make my make up look as nice as possible, I even tried to fix my hair differently. I wanted to mask how I felt inside so badly.

 

I was miserable at the party. I sat there wandering when I could leave without it being "too early" or obvious. I found myself so far from happiness, at my very own nieces birthday party.

 

 

 

I stayed to take some pictures of her open her gifts and eat her cake and once some people started to leave I rushed home myself. I changed my clothes, sat on the couch and cried.

 

 

I text our family who lived here on the land to please pray for me at 6 o'clock.

 

 

I text a couple friends and my parents and asked them the same.

 

 

 

 

 

That was a rather big step for me, because I had to admit to others that I needed prayer and that I was not okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 6, my brother in law, his wife, my mother and father in law and Grant all came to me and anointed me. I cried as I explained how I felt and I for once, didn't care what anyone thought of me. I was truly desperate.

 

 

 

 

As they began to pray I felt that frustration hover over me. I almost could hear Satan saying to me, "you'll have them pray over you, but you'll keep feeling this way." If it wasn't him who said it, it was me who thought it. Either way. I was very doubtful of anything changing.

 

 

 

 

I mumbled some words, trying to listen to everyone praying but I couldn't even concentrate. I hadn't been able to concentrate much for a long time at that point. Someone prayed something along the lines of God healing me from the top of my head to the souls of my feet. Seconds later, I felt an extremely warm sensation come inside of my chest and shoulders, it started moving down my body until it went past my thighs and my calves and then it was gone.

 

 

 

 

I said... IT WAS GONE.

 

 

 

 

I had no idea what had happened but I started thanking God for my healing.

 

 

 

 

A couple days passed and I was driving down the road. It dawned on me that I did not have that heaviness sitting on my shoulders and BODY anymore. I teared up and was so thankful for God's peace.

 

 

 

 

God healed me.

 

 

 

 

 

I finally came to a place where I admitted what was wrong, I admitted I was weak and HE was strong, and I let HIM take control over the situation instead of trying to do it all myself.

 

 

 

I know so many people who are unhappy today. Christian or not, depression can come on you. It is an attack directly from Satan himself is what I learned.

 

 

Now that I am free and it is gone, I look at what I can do differently.

 

 

For starters, I can be more transparent with my family and friends. If I need prayer, I can ask for it. I wasn't made to live life alone.

 

 

Secondly, I have monitored my conversations more. If someone says something negative, I try my best to encourage them to see their problem in a different light.

 

 

 

 

 I have been trying to show Raylea and Jack what it is to be content. This day and age- with all the social media and commercials on tv, it can be hard to not compare what you do or don't have to those around you. I have mentioned it a few times, but a large part of the reason I deleted my social media accounts nearly three years ago, was because I felt I had to search for the positive. I had to search for ways it helped me in my Christian walk. Every time I saw a flawless "selfie" I felt ugly when I never felt that way! When I saw someone post a picture of their new car, their clean living room, or their perfectly posed toddler, I questioned my own happiness. I wanted something "neat" to post. I wanted lots of "friends" to follow me. I wanted stuff I would have only cared about 15 years ago, as a tween. But instead, I found my 25 year old self, comparing my VERY good life to others and being, well, not content with it.

Not everyone is effected negatively by social media, but that is one of about 5 reasons why I deleted all of mine.

 

 

 

 

God wants us to be content. I felt Instagram and Twitter didn't help me out in that area.

 

God wants us to be meek. I didn't feel very meek when posting a picture of my clean car I had just washed, when I am sure there were people on there who didn't even have a car that ran.

 

 

You may say I am old fashioned... one of my closest friends once told me I was "an old soul."

 

 

I never have forgot that. Because it's very, very true.

 

 

I wish so bad we could make it in life without cell phones, honestly.

 

 

That was all a side note--- by the way! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lastly, but most importantly, I have realized that when I feel I am not making a difference, whether that be in my own children, or for my husband, or by writing a little blog post that maybe a couple hundred people max might read, I truly NOW KNOW, that I am most definitely making a difference and that the devil wants me to believe other wise to make me feel down.

 

 

 

I shared my testimony of God healing me last Sunday at church and it has amazed me the amount of people who have opened up and confided in me because they either have felt the same, or are feeling the same.

 

 

 

 

When your pride is gone, unity takes place.

 

 

When there is unity, there can be healing.

 

 

When there is healing, then comes WORSHIP.

 

 

 

 

That is what happened to me, in that order, on Saturday, January 14th, 2017.

 

 

 

You're not alone.

 

 

You DO matter.

 

 

God DOES have plans for your life.

 

 

You and your spouse WILL work it out and come out stronger.

 

 

 

The higher the mountain you have to climb, the better the view.

 

 

 

Reach out to a Christian today if you are struggling with feeling anxious, depressed, or just not as close to God as you one time were.

 

 

Remember... when your pride is gone... that is when healing can come.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your time and for all the love I have felt recently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I looked back at some pictures I was in that were taken prior to 1-14-2017, and it was so crazy how you could see the sadness in my eyes. I am SO happy that when I saw this picture that I took today of me and my baby girl, that I could visually SEE happiness in my eyes.

 

 

So, here is my REAL happy face. NOT a "fake" happy one!

 

 

THANK YOU, LORD.