Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Purity, Sex & Modesty


I have had the privilege a few different times to speak to young girls about purity. Last Wednesday I got the opportunity to speak to the boys and girls in the youth group about the topic. I was a little nervous being that I had never spoken about that subject in front of boys before. 

I just wanted to write about a few of the pointers that I used during my little lesson. 

First I talked about sexual purity. I don't believe that a person is considered pure when they have done everything with their boyfriend or girlfriend except for the actual act of sex itself.  Now, I do know that God can wash us white as snow, but I do not believe that it is okay to walk around bragging about being a virgin and pure whenever you are doing everything except for sex and giving yourself a pat on the back for that. God has called us to a high standard and that means abstaining from evil and I believe that anything leading up to sex should be saved for only your spouse on your wedding night. 

My first point on being able to stay sexually pure is don't date anyone who isn't a Christian.  You may say that is a no-brainer, but believe me, I have several friends and I've known several people who date non-Christians and they think that they will get them saved. I have yet to see that happen.

My second point is don't let Satan set you up. Don't be alone. I will never forget whenever Grant and I were just beginning to date, we were headed to my house after church in his truck.  My parents were about 5 minutes behind us in their vehicle and whenever we pulled up to the house I told him let's get out and go inside. I was obviously hungry and just wanting to get inside to get lunch around, but he said "No, I will wait out here." I didn't understand why so I asked him. He explained that not only it doesn't look good to other people but also that the devil will try to set us up. I respected him so much right then because I realized that I was dating somebody who really did care more about what God wanted than what he wanted. He was also smart enough to know that Satan will do whatever he can to set you up for failure.

Grant has done a visual lesson when talking on purity in the past. I wanted to do something similar so I went to my aunt's house and picked one of her big pretty flowers that she had on her porch. During the lesson I showed everybody the beautiful pink flower. I explained that this is a picture of our purity. I began plucking the little small petals off of it saying that this signifies when you dated a boy that you thought that you would be with forever and you guys did some bad things. I plucked another petal off of it. I said that was whenever you dated a girl that you thought was really pretty and you guys made out and did a couple other things. I went down the line of all the different situations in which we slowly will give our purity away to others. At the end of it there was just the stem with a couple little small blooms left on it. I said now this is what you have to give to your spouse. The one that God originally designed only for you, this is what you have to give them.  

All of those 50 kids were listening pretty good to me at that point. I could see every eyeball in the room.

I then explained that if you're in sexual sin- repent, get out of the relationship if they don't respect your decision and turn from the sin. God will wash you white as snow but you have to be sorry and turn from the sin. That is where a lot of people miss it. Some people can be very sorry but if you are truly sorry you will not want to do it again.

I gave the example that if I slapped you on the head and said sorry and then turned around and did it again, I wasn't sorry. That's what we do to God whenever we say sorry for sinning and then continue to sin.

God's plan A for all of us is to stay sexually pure. It was very rewarding to know that me and Grant were with each other and only with each other for the first time ever on our wedding night... we didn't have to worry about the baggage that many other people carry in knowing that their spouses been with somebody else.

I then spoke on modesty. Modesty is having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits or importance. It is being free from vanity, egotism and boastfulness. It is free from showy extravagance. I got that out of the dictionary.

The girl band Barlow girl said once at one of their concerts, being modest is not drawing attention to yourself.

That is so true.

I told the girls that if you are complaining that your breasts are too big, then wear a turtleneck if you have to. You are doing nothing but making men lust and drawing bad attention to yourself.

What I always say is if I stood before the Lord today would he be pleased with what I am wearing?



Dressing modestly should be something we do out of obedience to God. When we don't dress modest we show others we care more about their approval then Gods. 

I lastly spoke about having a pure heart. I believe that you can be as pure as you want on the outside but if you're not pure in your heart nothing else matters. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. That's what it says in Matthew 5:8.

I then spoke a little bit on pornography. No matter how much you think that you have everybody fooled, you may have just that. But there is no way possible that you are hiding from God. He sees what no man can. Your prayers are being hindered whenever you are looking upon a woman or man in that way. It is wrong for a man or woman to do that no matter what. God does not agree with it at all. I also explained that there are probably boys and men who go to church who have a pornography problem and it is hard for them to get away from that addiction because the very girls and women at church are dressing immodestly and are right in front of them and making them have bad thoughts during a church service. So therefore, girls, cover yourself up for that reason alone.

At the end, a boy in the front row asked me a question.  He said, "You said that whenever we sin continually, we are building a wedge between us and God. We are building a wall. So how do we break that wall down?"

I pointed to the altar. I said right there. You have to repent and truly be sorry and God will forgive you and that wall will break down immediately. It's very simple.

I pray you ask the Lord to purify your heart today.


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