Free of Me

 

 

Free to be me.

 

 

 I loved that song so much when it first came out by Francesca Battistelli. I liked her music even more when one night I got a call on my phone and my brother in law, Gabe, said on the other end, "someone wants to talk to you." Two seconds later this happy girl was talking to me and low and behold it was her! He had waited in line after a concert in California so he could call me back in Kansas so I could talk to her. He's a pretty nice brother in law. :)

 

Well, that song is great, and I love Fran. But today, I'm going to write about being free of me.

 

 

Free of me.

 

 

Say that few times.

 

I have been writing very rarely for several months now. The Lord put in on my heart to not worry so much about trying to get a post up every week or two and to just live my life as a young
wife and mother for now. I will have all sorts of time to write once these kids are raised.

 

 

I will always have this laptop, not small children.

_______________________________



 

What makes you feel complete? What puts you in a good mood or lifts your spirits?

Is it if your kids are well dressed and behaved? Is it if your spouse is treating you good? Or maybe it's as simple as having a good hair day or getting 100 likes on your Facebook post. Maybe it's landing a great job or purchasing a new home.

 

 

Do you base your confidence on how people accept you, approve of you, and like you?

 

 

 First, you must realize that not everyone wants peace.

Not everyone wants to sit in a circle, hold hands and sing Kumbaya. 

Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.

And not everyone is led by the Spirit, sadly.

 

 

 

 

 I want to drill deep in your heart and soul today some truths.

 

 

 

 

 

Truths I have come to learn through people, through a book I'm reading, through the Bible, and most importantly, through my time in prayer.

 

 

 

 

When you're rejected, you join company with the Savior. I was having a pity party several weeks ago as I felt this way and I thought to myself, who am I to think everyone will accept me? That nobody will ever turn their back on me or just decide they don't have time for our friendship anymore? Jesus was sinless and he was wrongly accused and to this day He is rejected. Who am I to think I should be treated even better than Christ?

 

 

When Jesus died on the Cross, he redeemed rejection. Whether it is from a parent when you were a child, a spouse as an adult, or a friend at any time. He redeemed it.

 

 

Jesus entered into that lonely place, that place of rejection, so it would not have to be the end of our story. Somehow, through rejection, God does a work in us that He would not have done if we would have been included. God will make us more like Him as we are in that place of feeling left out and rejected.

 

 

 

 

 

You may come to a place in your life where you must make a choice. Let's say you're at that point right now. God will ask you to do something that isn't about you, or doesn't feel good, or requires you to suffer. What will you do? Will you chose the easier path? The more comfortable place where you will continue being liked and applauded? Or, will you lay yourself at the feet of Jesus and say, "Lord, I am here, a willing vessel for you to use freely. I am free of me!"

 

 

 

When we can finally look at ourselves and see we are wrong, see we have made life about us, see that we make relationships about us (or the lack of a relationship), see that we make our marriage and even parenting skills about us... we can repent and allow God to mold this clay into something beautiful He can use.

 

 

 

 

What is the secret, you ask?

 

 

Pray.

 

 

 

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, and His name is Jesus.

 

 

 

Whether you are saved, backslid or you've yet to front slide... pray.

 

 

You don't need to pray in King James Version for God to hear you.

 

 

Some of my best prayers were ones where I just praised God and worshiped Him.

 

 

Praise Him for all He's done and Worship Him because He is. That is it.

 

 

He is. He is enough. He is enough to set you free. Even if circumstances don't change immediately and maybe those people will never apologize or try to make it right, He is enough for you.

Even if your child is addicted to drugs or in prison or just constantly disrespects you, God is enough for you. How people treat you and how your children (or parents) behave and the decisions they've made are NOT a reflection on you, unless you make it that way.

 

 

 

I am a joy filled Christian because God is enough for me.

 

 

When you make that sentence above the true motto of your life, it takes the pressure off of everyone around you and off of yourself to make you happy.

 

 

 

 

 

This life is to be about one mission.

 

 

To further and to grow God's Kingdom.

 

 

It's real.

 

 

I know I don't have a big fancy blog and smart words, but I write what I do, when I can, because I want to hopefully encourage someone to draw closer to the Lord, or to be saved.

 

 

 

What is your mission in life?

 

 

Is it protecting your self image? Or is it protecting the Image of God?

 

 

 

 

I want to pray over each of you who are reading this right now.

 

 

 

Loving Father,

 

I praise and worship You for who You are. I rebuke Satan right now in the name of Jesus from robbing anyone who is reading this blog from their happiness and joy in life. I believe there are those out there who find their identity only in their successes and failures. Break them free of this bondage! We want to pursue You, and You alone. I ask that each person would be convicted by Your Holy Spirit of anything in their life and heart that is above You. Pride, jealousy, anger, resentment, gossip, I rebuke it all in the POWERFUL NAME OF JESUS CHRIST. We are free because of Your shed Blood and we are called to be like You, so prune our lives, remove anything toxic, whether that is a relationship, a job, a past failure... redeem what You need to be redeemed if it will bring You glory! Keep our hearts right and pure, for that is the only way we can be used by You.

As I pray to You in my personal prayers, Lord, transform my desires so that I can live a life that is pleasing to You.
 

In Jesus name I pray,

 

Amen.

 

 



There are miracles yet to be seen

Well, I sit here in the deer stand on this rather beautiful October evening, and I can't help but to feel so at home. Yes, I'm basically in my parents backyard, but what I mean, is I love to get alone back here because it's just me, some animals and God! Probably how Adam felt... then God made him a help meet. What I found kind of ironic is she was supposed to be helping, but she ended up hindering him pretty fast! But, a miracle was yet to be seen. Her sinning and her husband sinning led the great need for an Ultimate Sacrifice, the Son of God. Jesus Christ.

Sometimes things happen in our life that seem rather ironic... but God is going to work a miracle.

I don't know why I had this random thought, but I'm kind of sick of hearing lately how powerful the devil is and how he is ruining people's lives.

You know what??

I serve a God who is the miracle that you've been waiting on.

He will save you from the pits of hell.

He will hold your hand when your feeling kind of lonely... we ALL have felt that.

Just trust the Lord and rest in HIS promises. He is mightier than any devil or demonic force that is trying to fight against you! He is the WAY Maker!

Let go of anxiety and unforgiveness and hatefulness...

Let God work a miracle in YOU.

That's what He is ALL about.

Deserted and Refreshed

 

 

 

 

So, I'm officially attending my first Bible Study on Tuesday nights.

 

 

I'm loving it.

 

 

 

 

Beth Moore is pretty intense and deep, but I like that.

I'm a words and visualization person.

 

 

 

 

It's an entire study on Second Timothy.

 

 

 

I don't have much time today to go into all the details of what this study is about, but this week had a lesson in it that really hit home with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter one, verse fifteen says individuals who turned away/deserted Paul.

 

 

 

It wanted me to fill in the blanks of a couple people who had done that in my life.

 

 

That was awkward.

 

 

Not only having to think of a painful time, but also being asked to write their names down.

 

 

 

Feeling deserted by someone hurts, especially when it's someone you invested your own sweat and tears into.

 

 

Have you been left alone by someone who you last expected would leave you? Perhaps it was a parent when you were just a five year old little kid. Maybe it was a spouse who chose their addiction over you. Or, was it a friend? Someone you sat and ate with, someone you made memories with, someone you trusted. Or maybe it was a group of people. We all have our own experiences... let your mind ponder on that tough time for a moment or two.

 

 

 

 

 

Then, a verse later it speaks of an individual who "refreshed" Paul.

 

 

 

Onesiphorus.

 

Yep, that is his name.

 

 

 

Have you had that person come in your life, right when you were feeling down and forgotten?

 

 

 

 

 

 

They made you feel like you mattered. Better yet, they made you believe you mattered. They were not ashamed of you. They were loyal to you, not thinking about how others might perceive them by being associated with you.

 

 

What a gem.

 

 

 

 

In Beth's study she says a line that I LOVED.

 

 

 

"Refreshers are rare finds in this narcissistic world."

 

 

 

 

She then asked me to write anyone who came to mind who had been that to me when I was scorched and dry.

 

 

 

That was a much less painful task, obviously.

Take time to honor that person, or those few people if you're blessed with more than one Onesiphorus. Maybe you haven't spoken to them for a while, but when you look back at a time in your life when you were alone, down, needed encouragement, needed someone to talk to, needed prayer, needed a true friend who cared and went out of their way for you when others were too busy with their own life and problems... they came looking for you and refreshed you.

 

 

 

2 Timothy 1:15-18 explains how Onesiphorus was so intent on seeking out Paul.

 

 

 

I know you would love to be sought out.


Deep inside, we all have that longing, it just takes some of us a little time to let go of our pride and admit we want to be loved and wanted.

 

 

 

 

 

 Onesiphorus must have really cared for Paul.

 

 

Not only cared for him, but that he was the only person who sought him out. Went miles looking for him. He didn't have a cell phone to message and say "Hey, Bro Paul! Let's meet up next week outside of Jerusalem for lunch." No, he had to go wandering and trust word of mouth as to where Paul had been and was.

 

I turned my phone off four days ago. Two days later, I did this particular bible study lesson.

The reason I turned off my phone was to pray. That was the main purpose. Make purposeful time to meet with God. My phone was an easy distraction to "unplug" from.

 

 

I'm always making time for Grant, our kids and often times others outside the home, and some days I feel I am giving God my leftovers, so to speak. I needed to get that back in check.

 

 

 

But, it's made me think the past few days, since doing this lesson, and obviously not talking to anyone unless I have seen them in person, who would come to my house looking for me if I just permanently turned my phone off? And how long would it take for them to come? A month? By Christmas? Something to think about...

 

 

Besides a handful of people in my life, I can't think of a ton to be honest.

 

 

 

 

 

How many people in your life would seek you out until they found you if you turned off all social media, your email, and your phone permanently with no warning?

 

 

 

It is a painful but liberating thought to think.

 

 

 

 Suddenly, you can weed out a lot of fair weather friends and picture maybe a handful in your mind right now.

 

I'm pretty sure you'd be lucky to have 3 of your 500 Facebook friends drive to your house within 6 months of inactivity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Beth's study she gives the example of someone saying to you that they "wanted to catch up but they didn't have a way to get in touch", when the truth is...

 

they didn't bother searching for us until they found us.

 

 

 

 

 What a thought.


 

 

 

 

Now, let the roles reverse... when is the last time you have sought someone out?

 

 

I have been Onesiphorus. It took me gulping down some pride to put forth the effort a time or two, I do admit! But, they were worth my time.

 

 

 

Remember this.

 

 

Usually, the unthankful person, the standoffish person, and the down-right mean person are the loneliest.

 

 

Have compassion for them. One thing they all have in common is this... They all just want to be loved. They want to be cared for. Sure, they may put on a tough front and even push you away at times, or all the time. But, regardless, under that tough guy/chick act, they all have a soul inside that is longing for someone to show them compassion. They maybe have been hurt, maybe deserted by too many and that is why they won't let anyone in. But, just like the last line of the "Day 5 Lesson" in Beth's study, she says...

 

 

 

...don't give up on humanity. There are still Onesiphoruses in this world. Be one until you are found by one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People will desert you. That is life. I have had to swallow that bitter pill time and time again in my short 28 (almost 29) years.

 

 

 But, just like with Paul, a REFRESHER will come along.

 

 

 

 

 

 I thank God for the refreshers in my life. Take time to thank yours and make it meaningful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

 Special thank you to my sister in law, Morgan. She has always read my blog and she often shares them with others and makes me feel that what I write encourages others, including herself. She is a woman of God and I want to openly thank her for being a Onesiphorus at many times in my life. She is eight years younger than me, but she has taught me things in life and as a wife, mother and Christian. She has fasted for me when I physically couldn't years ago and miracles happened during that time that are both very personal and intimate to her and I. She has held my hand and prayed with me time and time again. Whether we would have married into the same family or not, I still would have picked her as my friend.

 

 



Press On

 

 

 

 

We all win sometimes.

 

 

And sometimes, we lose.

 

 

 

 

 

I have learned more about myself, others, and God this past year, than at any other point in my life.

 

I've had some personal battles that I had to learn to fight myself.

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, God will fight for His own, and I am His.

 

But, just like David, he couldn't sling that stone for him, David had to fully rely on God and then go for it.

 

 

Go fight. He had to press on even when the odds were not in his favor in the human's eyes.

 

 

 

 

Maybe your giant isn't some 9 foot guy like David's, but boy, it's a giant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your spouse calls you worthless.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

Your kid says they hate you.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

You've been betrayed by a best friend.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

The doctor says you have 6 months.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

You failed again.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

You cried yourself to sleep last night, and you're dreading the evening.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

You had another panic attack.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You feel like the world is against you.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You just found out your son hung himself.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

You found out your spouse is cheating on you.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You felt humiliated.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You were treated unfairly.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You reputation has been jeopardized.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You don't have money for groceries and your three months late on rent.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

You said the wrong thing.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You are misunderstood.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

You're afraid.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're alone.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You lost.

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've experience a handful of those. I've felt alone. I've felt betrayed. And I have lost.

 

 

 

 

Something that I have learned though, is that everyone is not always going to get "you." Sometimes they won't appreciate you, no matter how kind you are. But, you can not base your worth off of their lack of joy, kindness and peace in their own life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Press on.

 

 

 

 

 

It says in the Bible that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

 

 

 

Do you know what?

 

 

 

Your happiness should not ever be based off of a circumstance.

 

 

 

That doesn't mean you're in the wrong for having a bad day or feeling less than awesome, but we aren't slaves to fear anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

If you are a blood bought child of God, it says in His Word that he GAVE YOU...

 

 

YOU, stay at home mom

 

YOU, preacher

 

YOU, salesman

 

YOU, lawyer

 

YOU, pastor's wife

 

YOU, Gas Station clerk

 

YOU, evangelist

 

YOU, husband

 

YOU, single parent

 

YOU, mother praying for her lost children

 

YOU, wife asking God for a miracle to save your husband's life

 

YOU, teenager

 

YOU, child of God

 

 

 

 

 

HE GAVE YOU the spirit of POWER

 

 

Power to overcome depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts.

 

Power to be set apart in a wicked world.

 

Power to become the woman of God that He has intended you to become all along.

 

Power to forgive those who don't deserve it and those who didn't even ask for your forgiveness.

 

Power to do His will for your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

HE GAVE YOU the spirit of LOVE
 

 

Love to win over your lost son and daughter.

 

Love to be able to lay down your pride to protect someone else.

 

Love to kindly sharpen a friend who is starting to walk away from the Lord.

 

Love to cherish your spouse, regardless of how they treat you.

 

Love to show kindness in a loveless world.

 

Love to forgive someone who hurt you, and they don't care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

HE GAVE YOU the spirit of a SOUND MIND

 

 

A sound mind to sleep peacefully and work calmly throughout the day.

 

A sound mind to see the bigger picture on a scale that is with Eternity in mind.

 

A sound mind to know you are saved from a devils hell and from all the destruction Satan wanted to cause in your life and family.

 

A sound mind that is NOT a slave to fear.

 

A sound mind that is placing it's trust in the fact that when you patiently endure, you'll obtain the promises of God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God gave you that Spirit.

 

 

 

Press on.

 

 

 

Press on.

 

 

 

Hold your sword, which is the word of God, so tightly your hand freezes to it.

 

 

Watch your knuckles turn white as you PRESS ON into battle.

 

 

You are MORE than a conqueror.

 

 

 

 

 

PRESS ON, SOLDIER.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Some Moms

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 My sister in law and I were talking and she made the statement about how Raylea has always had to be the guinea pig. Raylea is our almost 6 year old daughter, who is extremely smart, active and tender hearted.

 

 

 

I thought about how from the time she was born, she was not only our first child, she was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and she was the first baby amongst most all of my friends. Most of my friends were either still in college or newlywed. So, not only was she the guinea pig baby, I was the guinea pig mom.

 

 

 

I felt a lot of different emotions that first year as a new mother.

 

 

 

It made me think of how there are truly countless emotions a mom can feel and how every single situation really is different in it's own way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some moms have had tough roads.

 

 

Maybe you got pregnant as a teen and had that hardship of going from being a child yourself to raising one over night.

 

Some moms married their high school sweet heart, had a few kids and 30 years later find out their husband wants to separate.

 

Some moms work a 9-5.

 

Some moms stay home with their kids.

 

Some moms endured trials, losing a baby, or two, or five.

 

Some moms have a child who has a disability.

 

Some moms have a child who shouldn't have made it through the pregnancy.

 

Some moms had a child but lost them to a sickness at a young age.

 

Some moms feel insecure.

 

Some moms feel overly confident.

 

Some moms watched their adult child die from cancer.

 

Some moms raise their kids on their own, with little to no help from others. The dad left a long time ago.

 

Some moms aborted their baby.

 

Some moms take a child in from a horrible home and raise them as their own.

 

Some moms died giving birth.

 

Some moms pretend to have it all together, but inside, they are falling apart.

 

Some moms think their kid is the only one in the room who matters.

 

Some moms think all other kids are the devil, except their own, of course.

 

Some moms have lost their cool.

 

Some moms pray over their kids each day.

 

Some moms cuss their kids out each day.

 

Some moms use the excuse of "I never had a good mom, so I don't know how to be one," their entire life because they are too afraid of letting their own child into their world. They fear rejection that much.

 

Some moms favor one child over the other.

 

Some moms use their children for their own advantage in life.

 

Some moms won't let go, and they try to force their child into a future they think is fitting.

 

Some moms don't care.

 

Some moms just need a hug and some encouragement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So much diversity.

 

 

It seems that is what is celebrated these days. To be different.

 

 

 

Well, I 'celebrate' how all moms are the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every mother was given a free will by their Creator to do with their children whatever it is they feel like doing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Helping or hurting... loving or leaving...

 

 

 

 

It is up to you, Mom.

 

 

 

God gave you a gift. The Bible explains your role. These days, that role is fogged by all the glitz and glamour of social media, our identity, and our status in life.

 

 

You aren't successful as a mom if your kid doesn't graduate with honors.

 

if they aren't prom king, if they aren't the captain of the football team, if they don't have a car that is less than 5 years old...

 

 

 

Making your kids fit in and be popular isn't what will get Jesus to say "Well done."

 

 

 

It isn't buying them the nicest clothes or the coolest little accessories. It's not feeding them healthy food, bathing them and making sure they are safe each day.

 

 

 

 

Your real job is this...

 

 

 

 

 

 

to live a life in front of them that reflects the godliness, the holiness, the love and character of God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you're human, and have been a mom for more than 2 days, you've likely made some form of a mistake regarding that precious little life. We all make mistakes. We all have to say we are sorry. How on Earth can we expect our kids to be able to know how to apologize to God for their sins and short comings when we can't even model that action?

 

 

 

 

 

I heard something pretty genius today.

 

 

 

"You can be gracious with the person, but you can't be gracious with the spirit."

 

 

 

They were talking about bad spirits.

 

 

It says in the Bible we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

(Ephesians 6:12)

 

 

 

Sure, be gracious with yourself, but not with that hateful spirit you've been having towards them.

 

 

 

Perhaps you aren't hateful, but you are jealous. You compare you kids to other people's kids and you can never just appreciate what you have. Or maybe it's a spirit of doubt. You pray for your child, but you doubt they ever will get saved.

Unforgiveness. You haven't forgiven your own mom for her short comings when you were growing up, and that holds you back as a mom... and person in general.

 

 

Look up what the Bible says about not forgiving others...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Immodesty. If you're walking around wearing stuff that makes others take a second look, don't wander why she is doing the same thing here in a few years.

 

 

 

Stop tolerating sin. Stop tolerating the evil spirits attacking you as a mother.

 

 

Address it and call it what it is and GO TO JESUS.

 

 

 

Black is black and white is white. I don't believe in grey areas.

 

 

There is HOLY and there is UNHOLY.

 

 

There is God and then there is Satan.

 

 

 

Pick who you will serve. Likely, your children will follow in your foot steps.

 

 

 

 

Remember... you have a free will to do what you want.

 

 

 

 

Choose wisely.

 

 



Venting and Honesty

 

 

 

 

I like honesty.

 

 

Well, honestly, I love it.

 

 

 

 

I have always said that the most important part of any relationship is for there to be honesty.

 

 

 

So, let's be honest.

 

 

 

 

__________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroad in life and you weren't sure the road to take?

 

 

Or, just like in real life, you come to a sign that read, "DEAD END" and you're forced to turn around and find another route.

 

 

 

For the past couple months, I have found myself having a little bit of my own personal pity party  because my life is on a rather crazy detour. I had no idea construction was needed on the road me and my family were traveling on... but either a bridge was fixing to go out, a sink hole suddenly engulfed half of the highway, or there was too many pot holes for safe travel. Or all three.

 

 

 

Regardless, God sent us down the detour road.

 

 

 

 

I'm bad with change. I like consistency. That's why most of the friends I have, I've had for years and years. I make new friends often, and I don't just "drop" friends when I get bored or my life is too busy for them. I like to wake up around 6:30, drink my coffee, talk to God, shower and get pumped up to wrangle three rug rats for the next 15 hours. I like it when Grant takes me to get ice cream, or my sis in law, Morgan... me and her are the sweet toothers of the bunch. Did I just make up a word? I like it... Anywho, I like to get the same ole same ole. I like cheese pizza. I like club sandwiches. When I first come home, I throw some socks and sweats on... I wander if that is from all those years of watching Mr. Rogers.... any other 80's kids with me?

 

 

 

Okay, you catch my drift?

 

 

 

I like doing the same thing. I like knowing what is about to happen.

 

 

 

It's been extremely difficult to sit in the driver's seat and to be driving down a road that seems as though it should be in the Mojave Desert. For those of you reading this out of the U.S., that is the driest desert in North America.

 

 

I don't mean my life right now is lifeless, I just feel I've been placed in a position where I am a bit more alone and secluded than I ever have had to be.

 

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I am glad I am not in control, I am glad I am clueless right now, even.

 

 

 

 

I haven't been able to say that until today, actually.

 

 

 

I often like to vent through writing and somehow the Lord always uses my own words to turn around and encourage myself. I was thinking today about how our society always wants to have one up on each other.

 

 

If you say you slept awful last night, your friend has a reason they slept worse.

 

If you are sick with the flu, someone has had it way worse.

 

If you got a good deal on some shoes, someone has a story of when they got some for even cheaper!

 

Your kid knows sign language? Well, someone tells you that theirs knows three languages.

 

You saw 12 people saved during your church service? Your buddy says they saw 15.

 

You shot a big buck... oh man, don't get me started! I was raised by a hunter and now I'm married to one! Ha! Okay, I seriously plan to shoot a bigger buck than Grant this year ;) I'm kidding babe... kind of.

 

You have a 3.8 GPA? Your best friend boast they always have at least a 4.0.

 

You have 200 friends on Facebook? Someone says they have 700.

 

Then, as mothers, they compare every little thing! How many teeth are in their child's head, when they learned to walk, how long they labored and if they breastfed or made their own organic baby food. We need to encourage each other instead of make each other feel like failures, women! I have felt pressure at times to make Raylea behave and act perfect around people because of their standards. I had an older and wiser friend tell me to only discipline my kids for what we say is wrong, not what they think is wrong. Parenting is to be joyful and happy and exciting, not a time that you try to out do others in how well your kid behaves or the fancy clothes they wear or how young they were when they said the whole alphabet. Teach them kids how to be like Jesus, MEEK and HOLY and LOVE. Pretty much the opposite of today's society.

 

 

 

I learned whenever we miscarried a baby, nearly four years ago, that even in tragedy, people still somehow want to have one up on you. A loss is a loss is a loss. Just like losing your 40 year old son, it would be just as awful to lose your two year old boy. Miscarriages just tend to be something people are uncomfortable to talk about, I guess because nobody sees the stomach getting larger and you likely don't know the gender yet, and sometimes you haven't had the chance to announce your pregnancy, but coming from a mother who wanted that baby for 13 months, let me tell you, I will always mention and want to talk about my child. August Shalom. See you soon, little one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is something I have learned, and it is this.

 

 

Oddly enough, it was on the front of card my husband gave me last week.

 

 

 

 

It said,

 

 

 

Sometimes what looks like falling apart is actually everything falling into place.

 

 

 

 

 

So, yes, you may have come to a dead end. Maybe you just ended a relationship that you truly felt was going to finally lead to marriage. Or maybe you took a wrong turn and made a mistake and God is placing you back on the solid rock so your tires can easily spin down the road... or, maybe you're like me, you are down this detour road and it doesn't make any sense. You tried and tried to figure out what the problem was up ahead, why you had to go around it, but for whatever reason you are at a place of simply TRUSTING and LEANING on Jesus. Boy, what better place is there to be. You are safe from all harm on this road. What do you have to fear when God Himself has placed you down this road. It may seem dark, it may be raining hard and those wipers are going as fast as they can go, but there is peace in your soul that wouldn't be there if you were on that comfortable path.

 

 

I am learning to trust Him. I am learning to really lean on Jesus.

 

 

 

I encourage you today, to stop worrying, stop crying about who left, stop crying about who hurt you, stop crying about what happened. You raise your head up high and hold them shoulders back and put your seatbelt on because this is going to be the ride of your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great trip.

 

 

 

I know I will.

 

There's a lot of people, talkin bout people

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is this song I recently heard called "Rocks." It simply talks about how you don't need to be pointing out others' sins when we all have fallen short.

 

 

 

 

Now, I believe there is a time and place to go to someone in love and confront them about their sin.

 

 

 

 

I won't go into examples, but I am forever thankful for people coming to me in love and explaining why something is wrong or could potentially hurt my witness or mostly my walk with the Lord. As a young Christian eleven years ago, I stuck close to a lady named Tessa. She taught me things about God and about the dangers of keeping the smallest of sins in your life, that to this day, I have never forgot and it helped shape me into the Christian I am today. She never used the word "sanctification" but she taught me it with her own life. I rarely see her anymore, but any time I do, I make sure to give her a big hug around the neck...

 

 

 

 

Something that hurts worse than anything though, is people who will come to you in a "holier than thou" form and make you feel that you are the scum of the earth because of something you did, said or wore.

 

 

It doesn't say in the Bible, "thou shalt not wear short shorts, string bikinis and cleavage bearing shirts."

 

and for the guys... it doesn't say "thou shalt not wear muscle shirts or no shirt at the pool."

 

 

 

or, "don't drink alcohol."

 

 

"don't listen to secular music."

 

 

"don't get tattoos."

 

 

"don't pierce your nose."

 

 

"don't look at pornography."

 

 

"don't gossip about others."

 

 

well... it nearly says some of that..

 

 

"don't flip people off when they cut you off on the highway."

 

 

"don't yell at your wife."

 

 

"don't cuss."

 

 

"don't make others feel worthless."

 

"don't be lazy."

 

 

"don't this or don't that..."

 

 

"don't have anger problems."

 

 

 

 

You catching on?

 

 

We often point our finger at the person with the drinking problem or the girl who is sleeping around. I don't mean to sound harsh, but when a person gets saved, it doesn't take ages for their desires and their actions or even their looks to change. It says in the Bible that the old man will die and they will be a new man! With a new heart! Do you know the night my dad left a bar and went home he surrendered himself to God and he never went back into that lifestyle. It wasn't because he made up his mind and had a strong enough will. No... when someone likes to drink, they don't just "stop" overnight. My dad came in contact with the ALCOHOL Deliverer! The MARRIAGE Restorer and the CHAIN Breaker!

 

 

It took work, daily work and him laying down his pride to get to where he is today.

 

Can you imagine if right after he got saved if someone would have come to him and said "What? You had a drinking problem? What on earth are you doing going to a football game? Don't you know that alcohol is all around there? Are you just wanting to fail? What's wrong with you?"

 

 

I am making that little scenario up but stuff like that happens all the time with new Christians and "babes in Christ." They are on the milk, treat them kind and be patient and lead by example, not by condemning and judging.

 

 

 

I had lots of unsaved friends who I spent time with right when I got saved. Tessa and a lady named Anna explained to me that they will only bring me down. They didn't say "Hannah, you're not a Christian if you hang out with these people." They read scripture to me and used examples of themselves and others and made me see the reality of how friends can effect you positively or negatively.

 

 

 

 

I don't mean this hateful, and if you know me personally, you know me  enough to know that I am NOT a judgmental person... but if someone is drinking or sleeping around or cussing out their kids or lying... there's a pretty good chance they haven't ever been saved. I might ruffle some feathers saying that... but my goodness. Jesus ruffled some feathers enough that the crowd cried CRUCIFY.

So, instead of pointing your finger or judging, why don't you witness to the person?? Invite them over for dinner. Show them the love of Christ. WIN THEM TO THE LORD! That is EVERY Christians calling in life.. to lead others to the Lord. When is the last time you've led someone? Last week? Last month? Ten years ago?

 

 

 

Don't point at others in a CONDEMNING way. Instead, go to them in love and with another person if you feel led to. If it's a situation in your church, first ALWAYS go to the Pastor. Don't take matters into your own hands. There is authority at your church for a reason.

 

 

 

 

What the Bible does say, is that God is Holy. It says He is coming back for a Church that is without blemish or wrinkle. It says few will find their way to Heaven. It says many will find their way to destruction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read His WORD. That is how He will speak to you! God is the Judge and He is HOLY.

 

 

 

 

We can't be perfect, that is impossible. But, we can live a lifestyle that helps reflect the holiness and goodness of the Savior of the World by allowing the Holy Spirit to sanctify us. Each day is a new day and a new day to seek Him and find out what you can be doing to add to His Kingdom and to be the example to your wife, your kids, your parents, your friends... that you need to be, perhaps to help see them saved! YOUR life speaks volumes.

 

 

 

God is LOVE. That is true. But, He also is our Judge and we will all stand before Him one day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rocks

(lyrics)

by: The Isaacs

 

 

There's a lot of people, talkin bout people. Lookin down on everybody actin like they're sitting on a steeple. Keeping on their own faults, locked up in a big vault. Forgetting that God don't need a combination to see it all.

 Raise your hand if you ain't ever done nothin wrong, that's what I thought.

Rocks are heavy. They hurt people you love, and it's so easy reachin' down and pickin' 'em up but I ain't gonna throw no stones at nobody, don't wanna get hit by a ricochet, ain't got no room for no rocks in my pockets, anyways.

He just sat there Drawin' on the ground beside her, she was caught red-handed and man they all couldn't wait to stone her, now I'm just paraphrasin', but Jesus said "wait a minute, step right up and be the first to throw If you ain't done some sinnin" one by one, they all dropped their stones and went home.

Rocks are heavy, they hurt people you love and it's so easy reachin' down and pickin' 'em up but I ain't gonna throw no stones at no body, don't wanna get hit by a ricochet, ain't got no room for no rocks in my pockets anyways.

Rock of ages, sweet sweet corner stone, was meant to be a place to hide and not somethin we throw. So I ain't gonna throw no stones at nobody, cause I need grace to make everyday, ain't got no room for no rocks in my pockets, got no room for no rocks in my pockets, got no room for no rocks in my pockets, anyways.

 



Change

 

 

 



 

I apologize for not posting something in a while.

 

 

Mine and my husband's life has taken a little bit of a turn recently. Or a detour... not really sure.

 

But, we are walking by faith. It's so good to know the Master of the wind.

 

 

And to know that He knows me.

 

 

 

A wise man once said,

 

 

God does not require us to understand His will, just to obey it, even if it seems unreasonable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is our problem often times. We think circumstances need to be easy, comfortable and reasonable.

 

 

I go back and read about men and women in the Bible, who were on a mission for the Lord.

 

 

 

Noah. I'm sure that sounded pretty crazy to build the first ever boat. A mighty large one, I might add.

 

As his mother, I'm sure Jochebed was a little nervous about placing her little baby in a basket and sending him down the Nile River.

 

Jonah. Esther. David. Mary. John.

 

 

JESUS...

 

 

 

They all had a mission.

 

 

 

I don't sit here, on my end of the internet line on my laptop and try to sound spiritual or that I know more than someone else. Nope. Not me.

 

 

But, what I am doing, along with my husband, we are praying and reading God's Word. I feel like that's how we are supposed to communicate with the Lord.

 

 

 

 

 

We pray to Him. He speaks back when we read His Holy Word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are praying for God's perfect will in your life and it doesn't line up with HIS word and HIS commandments then you might as well save your breath.

 

 

Example: "Lord, please show me if you want me work at the Casino and witness to those people at the slots."

 

 

 

"Lord, do I need to marry that guy? He isn't a Christian, but he comes to church some and he seems kind of interested. He's smart and has a nice car... Oh, Lord, I know we can make each other happy!"

 

 

 

"God, show me if I need to keep being friends with this person. They bring me down spiritually and they never respect my convictions. But, I just feel I can't let them go."

 

 

 

"God, should I buy these $100 shoes? I know I haven't given any tithes and offerings lately, but You understand... right?? I mean, these shoes are on sale!!!!"

 

 

 

 

Okay, those are pretty kindergarten.

 

 

 

But seriously, don't pray about something that God's own Word would not approve of.

 

 

 

Don't contradict His Word just because of your selfish desires!

 

 

 

 

Don't try to be a Pastor if you've only preached a couple times.

Just because you went to Bible College doesn't mean God called you to Pastor.

Perhaps he did call you while you were there, but getting some diplomas doesn't make you "called."

(Or anointed.)

 

 

 

Don't try to pressure your husband to be a Pastor or preach just because you have dreamt of being a minister's wife.

 

 

Don't try to be something you aren't called to be.

 

 

 

Can you imagine if I told Grant I was led to be a linebacker in the NFL?

 

 

I would be miserable all my life because I would not only have every bone likely broken in my body, but I would be trying to fill a void with a made up "will" just because it sounded good and the money was right. No, God will not use someone like that. I have learned in my 28 years that life is not about me. It's not even about Grant or my kids or my closest friends. It's about me doing whatever I can in life to ADD TO GOD'S KINGDOM.

 

 

I have three kids at home that I will pour in to night and day until they hit 18 or married and my example is what will show them what it is to live for God. If I holler at Grant, Raylea and Arrow will grow up to be domineering and stubborn women whose husbands will be miserable. If Grant mistreated me and didn't lead me spiritually, Jack would grow up to be Grant Jr.

 

 

Our kids will be a mirror of what they saw in the home.



So, don't make church priority and neither will they.


I am not perfect, but I am truly striving with everything in me to live a life before them that will be real and acceptable to God. I believe they all three will have early salvations because they see it REAL in our home. Grant isn't a different man out of the pulpit. We all just got back from a youth camp where there were 74 decisions for Christ. Sure, that makes me proud that Grant preached a total of 6 times and led devotions once and twice a day, but more than that, it was seeing him read the Bible and go off alone to pray.

 

 

 

 

What are YOU doing to add to God's Kingdom?

 

 

Change is not always easy. Trust me. I get that. I'm there.

 

 

But, change is inevitable in all our lives and we have to come to a place where we hand the reigns over to God. Let Him in the driver's seat. Stop being that bossy kid telling the parent what you're going to do. Listen to the Lord and just say "okay," for once.

 

 

No, you might not be up on stage. You might not make as much money. You might even have to move to a different country. You may have to break up with that boy. Or stop trying to be friends with that person.



Perhaps you need to just start being a good wife. A good dad. A godly Christian.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I rambled a bit. My older two are watching Bambi and Arrow is napping while Grant is mowing our lawn. So, I had a silent moment.

 

 

Thanks for sharing it with me :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Face your mountain by Jason Bruns

Joshua 17:14 And the children of Joseph spake unto Joshua, saying, Why hast thou given me but one lot and one portion to inherit, seeing I am a great people, forasmuch as the Lord hath blessed me hitherto? 

And Joshua answered them, If thou be a great people, then get thee up to the wood country, and cut down for thyself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, if mount Ephraim be too narrow for thee. 

-----

The children of Joseph found themselves in an interesting dilemma. They had been blessed so abundantly that their lot of the promise land was too little for their needs. 

Sometimes God gives us so much that we are not able to live as we once did. Sometimes he blesses us with material things that allow us to give to other people; we soon learn that if we give to others then it will be impossible to give away enough to be wanting. In turn our giving requires more getting which requires more managing.At times God blesses his people with church family enough that the place they once occupied no longer is large enough for their physical needs- oh glory to God! We sometimes need more parking, more restrooms, more air conditioning, more sound, more Sunday school rooms, more teachers, more preachers! Oh thank you Jesus, we have more need for more land! Sometimes God blesses us with plenty of building and not enough people, plenty of people but not enough money. Sometimes it seems like we are just to restricted on time to do what we want to do for God. 

Soon the questions come; how come I received this lot? How am I going to be sustained on this lot alone? How come I'm not granted more space, more time, more money, more rest?

How are we going to expand our time, how are we going to manage our resources? How are we going to fulfill the needs of our family, and our church family? How can we meet our needs and the needs of those close to us? Are we ever going to be comfortable? 

Joshua had the answer for the children of Joseph. "Get up to the wood country and cut down the trees in the land where the giants are." Now I have to think that the tribe of Joseph didn't particularly like the answer they received. I'm certain they would have rather had Joseph tell them "alright" I'm going to give you flat land in the bottom of the land of Canaan, or perhaps they hoped he would tell them-go ahead and tell me the land you desire and I'll grant it to you. Unfortunately that is not the answer that the tribe of Joseph received. 

Sometimes the answer that God gives us is the difficult answer. The sort of answer that takes work, the sort of answer that gets our hands dirty, the sort of answer that takes great faith!

If God always gave us what we wanted or gave us what we felt like we needed, then the kingdom of God would be full of faithless juveniles! Mature faith is the kind of faith we need. The kind of faith that allows us to look at the mountain, and to face the giants and say "my God is able" My God can rescue me from the storm but he can also help me to endure the storm. He is able to deliver me from the fire and he is able to take me through the fire! My God is able to work through me as well as for me.

In the kingdom of God we must be willing to accept our lot; and still be willing to ask for our necessities, but work for our inheritance!

Why don't we heed to the voice of Joshua, pray a little more, give a little more, work a little more, and most of all, have faith more-in the Kingdom of God! By the way, look what Jesus did for us, he let them strap an old rugged tree his back, and drive nails in his hands, then he willingly died for you and I.

Lord Jesus give us the grace to have great faith, even when we do not receive the easy answer.

JAB. Plane ride home from Spring Jubilee 5/18/17